How do you handle other peoples children in your home.

[bigknickersbigknockers]

DS (almost 7yrs) has just started to play out on our street and has now got quite a few new friends. They call for him and off they go out to play and then 10 minutes later they land back wanting to play inside. This wouldnt bother me on rainy days but on sunny days I really do believe they should be outside playing.
My problem is they rampage through the house and when I say its time to go as we are going to have our tea I seem to get:
can we wait in the garden?
I've had my tea I dont have to go home yet.
I find it hard to be assertive with these children and I really dont know why because I am assertive with adults.
Any tips/help on how to feel like I am in charge in my own house insted of these children that I hardly know. TIA

Stick to your guns.
Decide what you're happy with and stick to it.
Tell your children the plan too. i.e at tea your friends MUST go home.
When the friends first come in the door, say to them 'at tea time you have to go home'. If they argue just repeat it.
They will soon get used to it. Kids ususlly just accept things.

you have to be assertive, children don't mind.

There is only one answer! GET assertive with them! Tell them its your dinner time and your son will get for them again once he's finished!

Lay down the law firm and no arguments allowed, these kids were not personally invited & can easily go home if they don't like your rules. If you aren't strict now, they will only push you for more and more over time, so you HAVE to be firm now.

Tell them to go home, who is in charge here, the adult or the children?

Oh, and just escort them to the door and shut it firmly in their face when it's time for them to go. They will respect you more in the long run if they know that coming to your house is a privilege, not a right.

just go into teacher type mode,big smile ,loud voice " right home time everyone,ds dinner's ready!" "no,you little shoite time for you to go ,see you tomorrow"

I find it so difficult, I almost expect DS to back me up which I know is mad but I am going to have to get strong. I dont want a housefull as I have 2 other younger children to keep an eye on but what can i do. Hell this parenting lark is so damn difficult

You just need to outline the rules early - and don't explain yourself. I always just say 'i'm sorry , you can play outside but you can't all come in just now' and 'Ok you have to go now - its time to go home'. If you give a reason they will try and debate it - and you will become the house where they congregate because they get what they want.
I think it is hard to be assertive because you don't want your child to have a mum who is a PIA and we are never sure what is acceptable elsewhere. You don't want them saying to your DC's that they don't want to come and play with them because of YOU .
Hideous isn't it - the guilt the guilt .....

My attitude is when other children come to the house they need to follow my house rules and if they don't like it, well don't come around and play.
At first I thought the kids would all end up hating me but to be perfectly honest they all still come but are just very well behaved and leave when they are told to. In fact I think that they may even like the fact that they always know where they stand when they are here - they also tend not to make a mess because I make them tidy up before they leave.
So would definitely put my foot down if I were you.

i dont let other peoples kids in my house

it is difficult at first bkbk but once you've done it, you won't hesitate in the future. assert yourself

I worry too much about stupid thing such as this.
I shall be assertive next time they come round. I dont want them to feel un welcome but I also dont want them to always be in my house. I WILL BE STRONG

I WILL BE STRONG

{blush]

Oh ffs

Yeah, well done BKBK

really harlyd, how do you manage that

Remember - you don't need these kids to like you.

i just dont let them. they have all been told i dont let anybody in the house. if its a nice/dry day then they have to be out in the fresh air. if they call for my kids when its wet they are told they arent going out.
i guess it will be harder as they get older though

yes be careful your house doesn't become the one they all go in

Yes its not what I like doing either. Certain children I have found really cheeky. I have had some who will question me 'why' all the time. I used to have one in that when I used to say it was time to go he would blatently say 'no'. oh how I used to boil and have to threaten him that I would phone his mum until he got going. I agree dealing with other children I find extremely stressful! Now I am a meanie and have none in from our road and just a lovely one i like from school.

It's okay to put a limit on numbers, you change the numbers depending on your mood or the child(ren) involved. "Yes I know I let Sally AND Mary come in yesterday, but today I only want one child to visit and Sally was the first person to ask today", etc.

House Rules:
No. 1) if you say don't do it, they don't do it.
No. 2) if they break Rule No. 1, they are out the door for the rest of the day.

And if they are awkward about leaving one day, they aren't allowed in at all the next day, etc.

Children who are repeat rule breakers can be banned until next summer, next birthday, next year, etc.

Top tip to getting neighbourhood children to obey and like you: encourage them to talk to you. Many children are starved for adult attention, will grovel like puppies for it.

You must be good at it then lljkk lol. I already had a rule of just one in and that was bad enough!!!!

I am craply unassertive at everything else in life, but handling local kids was a rare thing that came to me naturally. I like the other kids coming around, which I suppose shows, but it had to be entirely on my terms.