Finding my teething four month old unbearable

[Noto]

Can someone please tell me jt gets better, and soon?! Stuck at home with a screeching, angry baby who won't be left alone for 30 seconds. I think she might be teething as she's ear pulling, gnawing on things, refusing breastfeeds (will only take bottle) and just generally miserable. I'm doing everything I can, including calpol. But it's doing my head in! The final straw was looking at my "baby week by week" book this morning and seeing "Your baby is in a relatively easy period at the moment". WHAT? Did anyone else find 3-4 months a really challenging age?

Hi DS is now 8 months
Personally I’ve found all of it challenging, every month that goes by there’s new challenges! DS has always wanted to be on me or close by, and it’s only now he can sit up that he is happy to play with some toys himself!
He has just cut his second tooth and is generally very shouty! But at his age I think he’s also really finding his voice, has started crawling and is trying to stand up too, and bedtimes take soooo long because he’s just so excited about the world it does get better but there’s always new challenges is what I’ll say. Have you tried various teethers? A lot of people recommend sophie giraffe but I got the soft one as ds doesn’t like hard teethers, also got some playgro ones which are soft ish to bite and are water filled so can be stored in fridge.
Also I know at 4 months you probably aren’t starting solids (or maybe you are lol) but melon slices from the fridge are great for teething. Nice and cold and sweet!

Thanks @Blueswede - I've got a Sophie giraffe someone gave me when she was born, she didn't seem that interested a couple of weeks ago but will give it another go! Hear what you're saying about constant new challenges. I think part of the problem is I got told a lot "they get so much easier at 12 weeks" and for me it's been quite the opposite!!

Got an 18mo still waiting to sleep through the night and on boob every hour... Waiting for the easy point! I think they just change what they're being difficult about- a change is as good as rest.... It will pass but til it does please ask for some help, even a 30min break from them is a god send

It does get easier in the general aspect of everything. My 7 month old is quite clingy and shout at the moment but she's been teething since 4 months. It's not been constant, but i find all the changes in babys is on off on off as they grow. Yesterday she was happy and played all day and smiled, the day before she wouldn't be left alone for 2 minutes. Every day is different i think, so tomorrow could be better. I hope it is for you, sending love and support through this lockdown x

Thanks @Maltay - luckily my husband is helping a lot so I can have the odd breather (as much as you can in lockdown!) Hope things get easier for you

Try Anbesol liquid (not the gel) - it’s usually behind the counter in the chemist! Works brilliantly at numbing their gums. Presume you’ve tried teething powders but if not then try them too, they helped settle my bad teether. Sometimes Nurofen works better than calpol too.

I have a 2.5 year old. He was an absolute nightmare at 4 months. It got better day by day but definitely a huge improvement after 18 months.

You're strong, you'll get thru this even if it feels like you won't. Do whatever you need to do to cope. Sending the biggest hugs.

Thanks @Elhan - hopefully once I can get out and about again it will feel easier

I'll try that @confused866 - I've been avoiding the pharmacy but I think it's worth it in this case!

Hi @drunkenflamingo2 - thanks, makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one! Fingers crossed I'll see a gradual improvement too

Firstly, don't be scared of a bit of calpol. I was very much "oh my darling baby no medicine for my precious soul" now I'm shoving that ibuprofen in at the first sign of teething.
Secondly, chuck out the baby books. They do sod all other than worry you that your baby isn't on track. Motherly instinct is brilliant, and babies are very good at signalling what they need.
But finally, it'll pass. It may turn into a new challenge and something different, but this stage will pass.
Soak up coffee, put baby in a sling, nap when you can and put no expectations on you or baby.

I’m in 3-4 month hell at the moment (although, thankfully, I don’t think we’re teething) - it’s really tough. Where’s my little cherub gone?!

@Noto I found it more challenging (definitely not easier) but more enjoyable in a way after 12 weeks.
E.g. pre 12 weeks I could sit with biscuits and box sets all day more or less. Ds wanted to just cuddle sleep and feed. Definitely couldn’t do that as he got older! Now there’s teeth, solids (and the solid-ish poo!!!) I only watch tv in the evening when he’s gone to bed he’s also slowly learning to take longer naps. But he’s developing a wonderful sense of humour, copying, enjoying his foods, playing in the bath, and it makes everything worth it!

I thought about four months was the worst bit so far (and he's not far off two now). He became really hard to feed (so distractible that I had to go in a dim room to do it), the sleep deprivation was really biting by then and you're past the bit where everyone's lovely and helpful to you because you've just had a baby. They're still really boring but they don't sleep as much as a newborn. I found it got massively easier at 8 months (mostly because he crawled then but it was also, full disclosure, when we did gentle sleep training and so I stopped being so tired I wanted to peel my own skin off, use it as a blanket and go to sleep on the floor) and has been tremendous, genuine fun since about his first birthday. He's now this hilarious, interesting little person. But I thought I was a dreadful mother because I really struggled during the bit you're in now - other people kept saying how it was the easy bit and how it would be dreadful once he moved. Turns out I'm not a terrible mother, I'm just a toddler person not a baby person, and that's ok!

I think my first desperate message on Mumsnet was at my baby being 4 months old. 3-4 months was tough. Sleep regression and the beginning of gnawing everything in sight. Dont worry about what the books say - they set up unrealistical expectations a lot of time. What works for you as a family is diff from others. Dont be afraid to try out of the box things. For the teething, I used cold carrot and Nuby teethers and for some reason my boy preferred to chew on the hard plastic of the pacifier . His tooth has finally started coming out today and he is almost 8 months old.. dont worry, we have been there and it passes..... till something else comes up lol..

You can express some breastmilk and freeze it wrap in a clean cloth and let her go to town only thing helped my teething 4 month old its finally through after 3 weeks

@pentium85 yes you're probably right about the books - and the calpol!

Solidarity with you @chelseacat - I just spoke to a friend who says hers was awful at that stage and is now so much better a couple of months on, so there's hope for us

@lisasimpsonsbff thanks this is exactly what I needed to hear! Yes very boring (as well as stressful) and I don't think being in lockdown and therefore cut off from all friends/NCT meet ups/baby classes helps.

@anurulz - thank you, it's good to know this stage isn't necessarily the highlight for everyone. I'm just hoping she gets less screamy!

@noroominbed - thanks great idea!

Mine was whiny and clingy and constantly overtired from when she came out of the sleepy newborn stage at about five weeks, until she started to cruise at ten months. I thought it was teething but actually I think it was frustration at not being able to go where she wanted to coupled with needing to grow into her refusal to nap. Once she could manage happily on an hour a day sleep, she became human again. Good luck!

Yes I remember it, sympathy OP! The key is finding something that works if it is teething, and all babies are different. Anbesol was the best for DS, and if you are expressing or can express breast milk lollies are great. Sounds weird I know perhaps, but they don't go icy cold like water etc would if you froze it, and it was the only thing he would chew on. Also Lamaze toys, lots have teething bits on and found those more successful than specific teething toys.

I was very liberal with calpol +/- ibuprofen / anbesol liquid. If she was better with it, I gave it regularly as she must have been in pain. If not, I just assumed she was grumpy / frustrated.

I remember that stage being generally a bit of a slog. Never understood it when people spoke about how lovely it was! Can’t work out what they want, they get frustrated etc. It all got easier when she could sit up, sit in a highchair and eat, crawl, and finally walk. In general it just gets easier and better (although plenty of annoying stuff on the way!) I know people fret about toddlers (and of course some of it is luck of the draw / personality) but I have found the toddler phase far easier (and generally more lovely) than the baby stage. So much so that I’m now pregnant with no. 2 (after swearing I never would!) just so I can have another cracking little toddler.

Sophie the giraffe is lies!

Get a matchstick monkey. 10 quid off amazon but SO worth it.

I was very sceptical as DC1 didn't take to any teething toys and was unbearable too. The only thing that he liked was the dummy - have you tried any? You have to hold them in at first.(gently!)

But with DC2 I was recommended the monkey, thought fuck it worth a shot, since she won't take dummies at all. She didn't seem bothered at first but I spent 2 days helping her learn to hold it, wow what a difference. She happily falls asleep nomming away on it now.

Good luck and don't give up!