Childcare Options and clashing with grandparents on parenting style.

[Wannabemummy25]

I'm just wondering what experiences MN users have had with childcare options? Specifically getting Grandparents involved. Has anyone had grandparents do the main bulk of childcare during the working week rather than sending your little one to nursery or a childminder?

I'm concerned with straight from maternity leave so when baby is about 6 months to a year depending on how long you have off? My mum has offered to care for future babies 3 days a week and both DH and I will drop down to 4 days a week in work so we can do the other 2 days. I like this idea as if I'm going to miss milestones by being at work I'd prefer someone I trusted implicitly (my mum) to be caring for said child and not a nursery or childminder I don't know.

However, DH is concerned as we have different parenting methods to my mum and have sometimes had bad disagreements with her about other things (unrelated to children as we don't have any yet, but an example would be our wedding planning). Also, we will be trying our best to follow positive parenting methods and think that my mum might find this stupid/she has the opinion that she is always right. As we want to do things slightly differently to how my mum would, DH he is worried this will cause tension if we try to ask my mum to do things differently as she will say "what do you know, I've had 2 kids (my brother and I) so I know better" and will be prone to saying "you're doing it wrong".

I don't want to spend the first few years of babies life treading on egg shells for fear of my mum being offended and then deciding she doesn't want to care for grandchildren again! It would also mean her living with us for 3 nights a week as she lives about 4 hours away, which DH doesn't like the sound of!

Anyway just wanted some advice on general childcare and clashing with parents on how you parent and how you deal with it!

Purely on the distance between you and your dm I'd say it's a bad idea. If she lived round the corner then maybe but certainly not 4hours away. Also where Is your dmil in this? Is she local to help you out?

When my ds was a baby I went back to work at 12mth 4 days a week. My dm did 1 day dmil 1 day ds 1 day and 1 day nursery. Both live in same village so distance not an issue, I realise I how fortunate I was to have this support.

Are you pregnant or is this a hypothetical situation? Because if your not then theres really no point getting into argument with your DH or stressing about it.
Revisit this when you are pregnant or have had a baby your situations could have changed by then

Thanks so much for everyone's views! Actually seeing it all written down makes me realise that it is a terrible idea!
At the moment this is a hypothetical situation as covid has delayed our TTC plans (I currently have the coil so not as easy as just stopping the pill and going to the gp for removal is a big no at the moment!) So seeing as baby plans are delayed we have been talking a lot about how we pay for childcare etc and just generally getting a hold on the logistical side of kids to make sure we are ready and in the best possible position!
But thanks everyone, you've all really helped:-)

Good to read your update. Research local childcare. Think of how up to date their training is. It might fit in better with yours and dh's thinking.

That's good. Just save up between now and the baby arriving. Also look into voucher schemes to see if you both qualify, that helps as you pay less!