My 1 year old is addicted to breastfeeding

[Missnana]

Ladies I don't know what to do. I have tried so many weaning methods and non seem to be working. My daughter loves to breastfeed, play with my breast, nibble and even put my breast on her face. I have no idea what to do, and I am still suffering to sleep at night even after 1 year. She wakes up about 5 times at night and it drives me crazy. Please does any mother here have any advice on what to do or is going through the same thing? I feel so alone

My son was pretty much like that till 2.5, I didn't manage to wean him till he was almost 3. I'm sure someone will come along with better advice

Going through the same thing through the night with 11 month old DS2. Did the same with DS1 until he was 19 months; and through the day he fed hourly. He was an absolute boob monster and weaning was tough. Started with day weaning, as weaning through the night felt impossible, then eventually managed to do it fully. He still slept really shit though and I didn't have the magic boobs to help him get back to sleep, so it was actually worse on that front!

I was just having a chat with a friend about this. She’s said the only thing that actually worked was cold turkey, no, & a dummy.

Can you cosleep? My youngest was similar at that age and cosleeping literally saved us. He would just latch on throughout the night without me really waking. He carried on feeding until he was three and a half, slowly dropping the frequency until it was just at bedtime. I never truly believed that he'd self wean and was mentally preparing myself to start, when one evening he told me that he didn't want it, and that was that. Completely on his terms, when he was ready.

We went through plenty of difficult times where I was so, so tempted to wean him, but you know what? They all passed and every time, things calmed down. You will both get through them. One bit of advice, if you don't want her playing with your boobs, set that boundary now. I hated it once DS hit one and would put him down every time he started fiddling with me or grabbing at me. Within a few days he stopped and fed nicely. Despite being very young, they are very capable of learning.

Hang in there x

It's perfectly normal, OP. I found night weaning easy at 18 months- they understand a lot more then. I co-slept until night weaning for maximum sleep.

Well done for managing to complete the first year! If you're done, then you're done. No advice though, hopefully someone who knows more will be along.

Oh now that I think about it, "don't offer don't refuse" was the method that worked for us.

Co sleeping made it easier for me to sleep. My 2yo still likes to hold my breast as he dozes off. I don’t think it’s a problem as long as you’re getting enough sleep.

It’s normal but mightily frustrating. They do it for comfort. My experience, if it counts for anything, is that they are learning to be mobile, learning how to get what they want, also teething. Mine always wanted feeding when teething, and because I felt sorry for them I let them (mug that I am).

At that age they don’t need to feed on demand, you can start to be strict. Maybe morning, after lunch and before bed. I don’t know if there is anyone there with you who can comfort the child at night and break the boobie habit?

It’s not easy to do. I managed it with 1 out of 3. In the end I co-slept with the other 2 until the last bloody molar erupted, did a little hop, skip and jump for joy and promptly declared from that night forward all night awakenings were the domain of ‘daddy’.

What have you tried OP? Might help us advise.
Are they eating solids well? A simple distraction consistently might work. But you really do have to be consistent with it and decide now when you are going to allow boob.

For example: LO has breakfast, demands boob. "Not just now LO, you've just had breakfast. Look here is your favourite book/crayons/new toy only as boob substitute etc" then walk away. Happy, matter of a fact tone. Allow boob at snack time or whenever you decide if you are keeping feeding.

My LO, 20 months, uses my boobs/nips as comfort all the time. We stopped BF at 1 year! Nothing calms her as much as rolling a nip between her fingers! Its stretching my tops and can be painful at times but it isn't too annoying really. I think she'll grow out of it as she becomes aware of what she's doing.

Good luck!

I followed 'Don't offer, don't refuse' and coslept Feeds dropped significantly once she was eating proper meals, only to ramp back to almost newborn frequency at around 2.5 when her molars came through and then dwindled untill she chose to stop just before turning 3.

I remember the frustration I felt (she's 10 now). She used to play with my belly button and made it red raw. Just focus on the fact you are building up her immune system with every feed. There were many times I wanted to quit but I'm glad I didn't, at 2 years old she caught norovirius and couldn't keep food down for over a week, our GP said the fact I was breastfeeding meant that she didn't need to go to hospital as she was still getting some nourishment and liquids.

Good luck, whatever you chose.to do.

It is normal, it’s not “addiction”. But if you’re not happy it’s ok to look at strategies to reduce feeding. I’m no use as I haven’t done anything and now I’m looking at tandem feeding...

“ My youngest was similar at that age and cosleeping literally saved us. He would just latch on throughout the night without me really waking.”

I was already cosleeping out of necessity and the problem I had was that he wanted to be perma-latched all night long. It was agony and I got no sleep at all. However at about 15mo he was happy to be settled by his father for some of the occasions when he woke, before needing to come in with me, so I got more of a break

I co-sleep with DS, who's now 14 months and he was exactly the same, still waking hourly at night for feeds. I let him carry on as figured he was reverse cycling after starting nursery and largely refusing milk there during the day. Then all of a sudden around two week ago, he's stopped waking for feeds. Has a feed when he goes to bed and that's it, he'll pretty much sleep through until the morning with the odd bit of fidgeting thrown in.

Honestly, I wasn't a believer that his sleep would ever improve (even had my own post about it at one point), but I also didn't want to sleep train or stop breastfeeding personally, because I believed it'd resolve itself eventually... and 🤞 it does seem to be, quite a lot quicker than I expected! Now just to get him back into his own bed/cot 😱

If a baby/toddler was doing something else at this age - like hair pulling or picking at your fingers (one of mine used to do that), you’d start to enforce boundaries and ask them to stop and distract them. Fine to bf and actually feed but not fine to have constant access or be hurting you (I have bf 2 into toddlerhood). Might be worth moving to only feeding at certain times and in a certain place. So pre nap and prebed and first thing. All upstairs. Then rest of day offer drink/cuddle/cuddle with toy or blanket and mummy etc.

Wow. So many suggestions and encouragements. I will def try the dont offer n don't refuse method And also try to slowly replace meals. Thank you ladies. I also co sleep with my LO but I thought that was making it worse as she could smell the milk and want to feed all night long?

My daughter got like this at 14 months. She wanted to feed all the time it kind of had to be an all of nothing scenario as I felt like it was making her upset and I wasn’t enjoying it anymore. I decided the time was right to stop as I wanted to have good memories of breastfeeding. Luckily she did start sleeping through the night by herself at 11 months though.

Will she take a bottle at all? Or a dummy? Does she have a comforter/ toy?

She barely takes the bottle. I started out my expressing milk until she was 2 months then she stopped taking the bottle. I tried about 5 different bottles and gave up. Fast forward to today, she will drink only 60 ml of oat milk in a Mum bottle. N that's on a good day. She also plays with the dummy. She never really liked it. My child is so aggressive, she will throw away all her comforts and toys just for breast milk. She pulls on my tops and fights be if I try to stop her. She is very strong too

Their strength is surprising for such little things! Especially when they aren't getting their way! Hopefully things improve soon.