How does everyone split the parenting/household duties?

[somanyquestions2018]

I was just wondering earlier today as I was doing the washing up and hanging out re-useable nappies how other people and their significant other split the childcare/household duties.

Me and my other half have a traditional "female duties" and "male duties" split mostly. I wash the nappies, do the washing and do all the childcare for our one year old son. I don't wash the clothes as they are done at the laundrette as we currently don't have a washing machine. I don't often cook or meal plan as he likes to do that as he doesn't like my cooking style. Although I have started to bake bread and he likes that.

He does all the "man" things. He lights the wood burning stove to heat the house in the morning. Although I do that too sometimes. He is building the other half of the house right now. He is good at stuff like this and I certainly couldn't weld or use the chop saw like he does!

But...and I suppose I am having a bit of a moan! He has only ever put our son down for a nap once! He never goes for a walk in the fresh air with our son in the sling. If I ask him to do a nappy as he said just today "you always ask me just as I'm going out!". His idea of watching him for a moment is his head in his phone as our son plods around him and pokes him trying to get his attention.

How does everyone else divide the duties? I know there is no one size fits all but any pointers would be good. I just feel a bit uneven sometimes. But that's probably normal.

As you say, there is no 'one size fits all', but the key is to have equl amount of 'down time' - whether you use that to exercise, do a hobby, or slob out in front of the TV.

I agree with @backforgood EXCEPT for the fact that your DH is ignoring your child and not putting enough effort in, which is massively unfair on the kid.

We tend to have some ‘duties’ that each of us do (he tends to fix things and do DIY and all the cooking whereas I do the washing and ironing) but daily things like tidying, dishes, empty bins etc just get done when needed and tends to be whoever gets there first.
Childcare is split equally when we’re both at home, we do alternate bedtime and morning with our one year old. I agree with PP it’s whatever works so long as you have equal amounts of down time, and down time does not include taking care of the children!

At the moment DH basically does everything. I help out if I feel up to it (Hyperemesis, not just lazy!). Even when I’m well I’d say he does a fair bit more than me though. He really likes to be busy and actively looks for jobs to do.

Thank you everyone

This all helps! I have picked up some good tips!

Our children are grown up now, but I can't imagine dh ever agreeing to not sharing the parenting duties: they were his children and he wanted to get to know them.

All the other things I agree: doesn't matter who does them as long as you have equal amounts of downtime.