18 month old bedtime routine.

[Daffie19]

Hoping someone can help as I'm at my wits end.
Me and DH never get an evening together as this week, DS has dropped all naps and bedtime is taking about 2-3 hours.
We have always fed to sleep, stopped BF at 14 months and replaced with bottle, but still always bottle, and cuddle in our bed then transfer.
This was working fine, but it's taking longer and longer to be able to move him. When you do move him, he's awake screaming in 10 mins.

Now he will fall asleep in 5 mins, but you can't move him for about 2 hours until he's properly asleep.... Help?!!!

I've tried tonight to settle him in the cot after waking but he's just hysterical.

Any advice?!!

This sounds so tough OP. I'm afraid I haven't got many words of wisdom I'm afraid. Except to say that my (now 19 month old) was doing similar for 2 weeks. He would scream hysterically when in his cot. We had to sit with him for hours at bedtime before he slept which meant no evening for us. I'm happy to say that it "only" lasted about 2 weeks and we noticed the crying reduced and reduced to the point where we would put him down and he would be happy to go down again. So I'm hoping this is the same for you. Apparently 18 months is a peak time for separation anxiety and also a sleep regression 🤦🏻‍♀️

At 18 months I would personally try some sleep training. Doesn't have to be controlled crying, you can try one of the 'gentler' methods if you prefer but he is of an age where it's reasonable to expect him to fall asleep in his own bed, on his own, without you there. Pyjamas, milk, brush teeth, read him a story, put him in the bed. He is old enough to understand a simple explanation. Good luck!

So took a good 2 hours, but he settled in his cot.. I didn't give in and bring him back into our bed!

Kept going back in and laying him back down, then sat in a corner of his room singing /humming daisy daisy! 😂

Do you think I should do his milk in his cot and just sit by his cot, then transition to outside his room etc?

I'm off for 4 days now so I can attempt This OK.

There is really no great science to this stuff, but I think your plan sounds sensible. If you've got some time and headspace to stick to your guns and not take him into the bed, I think you might find that he gets the idea quite quickly that it's not an option anymore.