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Original poster

Getting rid of dummies for 2 and 5 year old

15 replies

painickingturnip · 31/03/2020 21:17

Hello, this is my first Mumsnet experience but I'm hopeful this will be what I need. I have two beautiful daughters, aged 5 and 2 and a half.
So with the lock down meaning that there is no school or work for us, I've decided to jump the shark and get rid of the dummies. I really should have done this earlier with my eldest, but it's never been the right time.

Anyhow, I'm looking for advice on how to go about this, and a bit of a handhold throughout the process. My 5 year old is very attached to her's, so I'm expecting this to be a painful process. I thought that it would be best to do them both at the same time, so she doesn't see her sister still being aloud a dummy when she isn't.

Please give me any advice you have, thanks and be gentle

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BadgertheBodger · 31/03/2020 21:21

We just got rid of my 3yo dummies by collecting them all up and leaving them out for the tooth fairy with a letter saying to give them to other children as he didn’t need them anymore. The Tooth Fairy left him a card and a treat (magazine) and he’s been a dream about it. He only asked a couple of times at bedtime but once we reminded him they’d gone he was fine much less painful than I expected!

Original poster

painickingturnip · 31/03/2020 21:33

@badgerthebodger oh that's reassuring, I like the idea of giving it to the tooth fairy. I hope that mine will be this chill about it, but I'm not sure. I hope he is getting on fine now.

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Dinosaursdontgrowontrees · 31/03/2020 21:39

We did a similar idea to BadgertheBodger a couple of weeks ago with my almost 4 yr old we left his dummies for the dummy fairy who took the dummies left him a gift. The dummy fairy took the dummies to a new baby.
He hasn’t asked for it again.
I was so worried as he was very attached and had never slept without it but he has been a dream.

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horrorofmany · 31/03/2020 21:49

I took my dc's dummies away in the morning and exchanged them for a box of presents from the dummy fairy. I know it sounds excessive but every time they mentioned the dummy I would give them a present to unwrap. I was so worried about doing it as they were so addicted. Did both at 2.5. The presents were all cheap things from the pound shop that I knew they'd like and offered a distraction for a while each time.

Dc1 was ok, loved her presents and cried for 20 minutes when going to bed then never mentioned them again.

Dc2 was ok till bedtime then cried for about an hour and carried on for nearly a week mainly at bedtime. But then completely fine.

Good luck, hopefully yours will be like my dc1!

POP7777777 · 31/03/2020 21:58

I think you should wait until Easter and then make a big show of wrapping them up nicely with a card as a present for the Easter bunny. Then leave the box somewhere for the Easter bunny (bottom of the garden, under a pillow, or wherever). Then, after a five minute wait or so, building up the excitement, the girls return to find the dummy box gone and replaced with chocolate eggs (or whatever you have to hand that's exciting). If they pack the dummies themselves and the witness the box having disappeared , it will help them to understand later that the dummies are NO MORE! (And make sure you dispose of them immediately so you're not tempted to retrieve them if the girls get teary later on!) I promise if you just remind them how the bunny needs them for her babies and how they are DEFINITELY GONE, it will all be sorted by the next day. Good luck! X

Original poster

painickingturnip · 31/03/2020 22:13

Thanks for all the tips, I can see that this is probably going to be expensive. I don't want to hold off too long, I'm planning for this week, so Easter is a bit further than I was hoping for. trying to explain it in a way that will appeal to both of them I think will be the hardest part. I need to make sure the 2 year old understands, but the 5 year old won't see through it.

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BadgertheBodger · 01/04/2020 07:53

I don’t think it necessarily needs to be expensive, DS was given a magazine which cost a couple of quid! Your 2 year old probably won’t quite grasp the concept of giving them to the tooth fairy or whoever you choose but if her big sister is in on it too and there’s a small treat involved she will likely be fine

uhoh2020 · 01/04/2020 08:12

I made mine post his to Santa in return for xmas presents (you could use the Easter bunny) he put it in the envelope and we took it too the post box and he pushed it through.
Its night was a little bit tricky but as he knew he had posted it and I wasn't simply hiding it from him he had no choice but to cope without it. Lots of kisses and hugs and within a day or 2 never mentioned it again. I found it equally as hard if I'm honest it's the last bit of their baby ness gone.

Spam88 · 01/04/2020 08:25

We just went cold turkey with our 2yo and she was fine, so I wouldn't particularly worry about your youngest needing to understand.

Elmo230885 · 01/04/2020 08:35

Just before she was 2 we started getting DD to leave it under her pillow so she only had it at night. After a week or so we moved it and only gave it, at night, when she asked. Took two weeks or so and she stopped asking for it. DS doesn't have one and never has.

CherryPavlova · 01/04/2020 08:40

You put them in the bin and say “You’re too old for dummies now ”.
They squawk for a bit and get over it. The lesson for them is that they can cope. You’ve built resilience in them and taught them they have good emotional reserves.

Making a big song and dance makes it a bigger issue and suggests they will suffer trauma or not be able to cope. You’re an adult. You don’t need a handhold for opening a bin a lid and distracting your children. You’ll cope just fine.

grumpypug · 01/04/2020 08:40

Make sure you get rid of them so you can't cave in and hand them back when they're crying for them. I always tell people to cut the sucky part off and throw them away (obviously without the children seeing, you don't want to traumatise them) unless you are going to post them in a letter box etc.

SpanielPlusToddler · 01/04/2020 08:43

I knew mine wouldn’t go for giving them away, even in exchange for presents. So ours ‘broke’ one by one. I cut the tip of the teat off with scissors and put it in their bed. When they picked it up at bedtime they said that it was broken and happily put it in the bin. I counted down and said ‘only 3 left, now 2 left’ etc. They knew I wasn’t going to buy any more once they were all gone. Gave them time to get used to the idea.

Original poster

painickingturnip · 01/04/2020 11:15

I like the idea of them 'breaking' so they can't use it. I think I might incorporate that into the fairy thing. I'm too chicken to just through them out, and I think it would be a bit cruel. I'd rather have a little story to go along with it so they aren't as heartbroken.

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Gin4thewin · 01/04/2020 11:38

About 3yo with DS i had to post a letter and we told him it had all his dummys in to go to another little boy that didnt have any. He walked with me to the postbox and put it in. I got rid of them all so i wouldn't give in and stop him finding them. Got a little bit upset at bedtime 1st night, and i felt awful, but was absolutely fine after

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