Hello
As some of you may know we have recently moved to Australia. And my angelic outgoing DS1, 3.5yrs, has turned in to an absolute beast when we are in public, 50 % of the time, yelling swearwords at girls (?), being very aggressive to younger kids and generally displaying a lot of anger.
I have got to the stage with him when I can talk about his feelings, in terms of happy and sad and angry but he just behaves so aggresively sometimes I lose the plot and blow up at him.
I know the underlying reason is because he has lost his network of friends, he doesn't have any regular playmates yet and then there's the old jealous-of-the-attention I give his younger (12 mo) brother.
He is not unhappy here generally, he has adapted to a new house and family set up (we live with MIL) really well, he says he loves Australia and that he doesn't want to go back to the old house (hovel) and we do lots of activities and go to playgrounds and I try to have continuity once a week with a playgroup. Plus his dad is so hands on and gives him plenty of attention. As does his granny.
But it's half term at the moment and the playgroup met casually at an indoor softplay/kids gym place and DS1's favourite playgroup kid wasn't there. He just became obsessively beligerent, bullying younger kids which he knows pushes my buttons in the worst way. I tried asking him what was the matter and doing the usual time out stuff and then when he finally said he was sad because I was chatting to the other mothers and he wanted me to go on the apparatus with him I only got halfway up the climibing frame before DS2 realised I was gone and yelled the place down in the arms of one of the other mums and I had to go to him. Then, of course, DS1 was even more badly behaved to get my attention and I lost the plot and dragged him home yelling and fuming all the way. Bad bad mummy.
Tonight DS1 told his dad that he was sad today because his favourite playgroup chum wasn't there and that he only wanted to make Mum happy but she was very cross. I feel so sorry for him and so ashamed at my reaction to his disappointment.
I know it's early days and we have only been here 7 weeks but does anyone have any advice on how I can dissapte or channel this anger and not blow up at my billy-no-mates little darling boy?
BTW I am joining more playgoroups and generally stalking other mothers with same age kids, but I feel so sorry for DS1 who is usually such a self composed sunny little boy.
TIA