Lockdown misery

[Meredithgrey1]

DD is 9 months and I had been back at work from maternity leave three weeks when the nurseries shut. So she is at home with DH and I while we try and wfh. I was totally miserable during maternity leave and the only thing that got me through it was a firm end date, as horrible as that sounds. DD does not nap, she wont go in the cot, she wont sleep in the pram unless you push her round for literally (and I do mean literally) hours. I tried everything during maternityleave to get her to sleep in the cot and nothing ever worked, but now we actually need her to. The only way she'll sleep is in the car but we cant take her out for a drive for every nap. Firstly because we need to work, and secondly because of the lockdown. So we have a screaming, overtired baby from about 9am.
Maternity leave left me suicidal, and this is worse. I know its important, I know why schools have shut and why we're in lockdown and I'm not arguing that it shouldn't have happened. But I do not know how I will survive this.I'm not really sure what I'm asking, I just needed to vent.

I'm sorry, that sounds really tough. have you tried swaddling her before you place her in the cot, and playing white noise out of your phone?
it might be worth looking into getting a rocket- which basically rocks the pushchair to replicate the feeling of it being pushed or the feeling of a car. You can see it working but it might help settle your dc? all the best x

So, at night she goes down in the cot reasonably well with a feed, a story, a sleeping bag and a white noise machine so we try to replicate that during that day and she just wont have it.
I'll look into that rocket thing though, thanks.

Have you seen Hushabye Lullabye on bbc iPlayer? You can download to your phone too for the music. It's like a switch for my 9 month dd. I started to put it on tv with milk, cuddles and dummy, and now pop her in the Pram with the phone playing the music. Sometimes she's gone in 20 seconds if I've timed the nap right. Sometimes a little push round and she'll be gone in 5/10 mins.

The producers are geniuses :)

Hi OP, just wanted to say you're not alone. My DD is 10 months and I've only been back to work since mid Feb (was SO excited to go back) and am now working from home whilst trying to look after her at the same time. It is so so hard as shes not exactly old enough to be left to entertain herself for a while! So whilst i dont particularly have any advice i just wanted to let you know you arent on your own

While she go in the sling. My DH works with our huge 8 month old in the sling.

Just wanted to add to the sympathy. I love both my children very much (they are 17 and 11 now) but found maternity leave almost unbearable with both of them. The exhaustion of being at home with a small baby, if it doesn’t suit you, is like nothing I have ever known. I think all you can do is keep thinking this WILL pass and you WILL get through it.

I think a sling would be good to try. You can walk her around the house. Failing that, we used to push the pram inside the house. Our house is small but we would push up and down the kitchen and dining room. Sounds crazy but needs must! If you have a drive you could push her up and down the drive x

I think sometimes it is a choice between a baby that naps well in the day and a baby that goes down easily at night. Very occasionally do you hear of a baby that does both (before people pile on!) It sounds as if you have the latter which means getting through the days with split shifts between you and your partner, divided up however is practical. My worst sleeper slept through at 10 months and what did it was a combination of him becoming more mobile in the day and us giving him lots of chances to be physically independent and mobile (so tired out) AND properly taking solid food ( so full up!) He started to sleep better at 10 months and things really settled around 12-14 months so I think you may be nearly there x

I wouldn't try and replicate night-time during the day or you'll end up with a bad sleeper at night too.

My first was a sleeping (and screaming) nightmare which I was determined to not happen again with DC 2&3.

You just need to make sure that she's fed, nothing else wrong and then pop her in her cot when you think she's tired and leave her. If she's tried, she will go to sleep, eventually, but you have to ignore her. She will learn to settle herself down.

You will get someone coming on spouting the negative psychological effects of doing it, but you've currently got a baby who's screaming anyway. It is really hard to ignore them - but you will end up with a happier baby in the (very short) long term.

I could have written your post!! I was soo looking forward to going back to work (fantasizing about a day in the office would you believe!) And now I will have to wfh with a baby who naps for 1 hour only and does not sleep at night. Maternity leave was tolerable before lockdown (swimming, libraries and baby groups) but now I feel trapped. I, like you I imagine, will not have a break until the nurseries open. Not sure I can hang on that long...

I’ve literally just posted something similar about my 20 month old! I’m at breaking point. I had exactly the same feelings on mat leave and agree this is 100% worse because there’s no outings or baby groups, virtual stuff is all well and good but not a proper replacement. I’ve no real advice just to say I know how you feel x