I’m nursing 5mo to sleep

[Diaperchanger]

Hey lovely mommas

I’m the mother of an incredibly easy and happy 5 month old boy. He almost never cries, but when he does he’s absolutely furious.

At two months he was sleeping for nine uninterrupted hours, but at three months he started waking up for 2-3 feeds again. He’s a big, delicious fatty, so he needs it. He also went on a breastfeeding strike, so I spent a week in bed with him with my top off and him in his diaper just cuddling, loads of skin to skin, having the food available at all times and just getting back to the perfect breastfeeding we’d had until then. It worked, but during this time he lost interest in his dummy, and at 3,5 months he was done. He’ll put ANYTHING in his mouth and chew and suck on it for quite a while, except for his dummy.

Around comes 4 month sleep regression. I took it in stride, followed his lead, and I think we got through it ok.
The problem is I’ve gotten into a habit of nursing him to sleep. Not just holding and nursing, we’re on our sides in bed together and I then have to carefully get up. I would justify it with “he needs to suck to soothe, but he won’t take his dummy, so the breast is the only other option” because he didn’t have good control of his hands when he was sleepy and frustrated. He just couldn’t keep his thumb in there. He now sucks on all his fingers all the time.

We started solids two weeks ago, but for the past few days he’s had maybe a third of what he usually eats, he’s fussy (seems almost heartbroken actually) and drooling all over the place, so I suspect the teeth may be coming in, although it’s a bit early.

It seems like it’s never the right time to get him of the breast before sleep, and I just can’t handle controlled crying. I’ve tried it a few times, and it doesn’t seem to work for him anyway.

He’s due to start daycare in the fall, and I know it’s five months down the line, but I need to break this pattern.

He’s never actually used his dummy that much, except to fall asleep, and then he’d spit it out as soon as he was sleeping, so I don’t know if it might be futile to train him to take it. On the other hand, sucking soothes him to sleep.

Any advise would be appreciated.

I would hold off for a while; sleep training isn’t recommended until babies are at least 6 months and then I’d look at gentle methods that don’t involve crying it out. I did a gradual retreat method to stop rocking my DD to sleep at 9/10 months and it took 10 days so it wasn’t a long process but it was important she was old enough and not teething or unwell at the time. It may be helpful at this time to encourage him to attach to a cuddly toy or similar that can be used as a comforter when you do try to break the habit.

5 months is still very little and his behaviour isn't unusual. He will grow out of it in his own time.

Five months isn't too early for teeth. My eldest had his first two at five months.

Personally I'd wait. But I cuddled my two to sleep at night until they were a year old.

I really wouldn't worry about 5 months time, he'll be twice as old then. If it's working for now then go with it and you can work on it later if needed. Mine both stopped feeding to sleep at nap time at about 7 months.

It does sound like he's teething, so don't try anything now. Mine got his first tooth at 5 months and was miserable with it for weeks before.

He's very young to sleep train. You'll be surprised how much they change in five months, and how adaptable they are when they go to childcare - I still often cuddle my 13 month old to sleep, but at nursery he was going to sleep fine for them without it.

Just feed him to sleep OP.
He's 5 months not 5 years. You're doing great x

Thank you all so much! It's hard to know you're doing the right thing sometimes when everyone has an opinion.

I'll let him be the head of the house for a few more months

5 months is tiny! They still need the comfort and breastmilk is the most nutritious thing they can drink (I don't know yout reasons for starting solids early, but it's for taste and texture for the first few months anyway). I think it's something you need to look at when he's starting daycare. As you've said, he goes through phases anyway.

Also please don't do controlled crying! Rarely works and makes babies needier and more stressed out, even if they do lie there silently.

Also you'll never get this time back. Treasure him! Won't be long before he's wiping your kisses away!

In the same boat!

My LO is 3 months old and I've found myself nursing her to sleep, be it for day naps or night time. The problem I have is that whenever I prize my nipple out of her mouth so that I can put her down, she wakes up very angry! It can take me ages to finally get her to sleep in her bed, if at all. Often she startles awake (she hates being swaddled). I have tried several dummies and she hates them. Im still perservering! Should I try and get away from nursing to sleep?!

EmJP1 he did that for the first two months as well, but thankfully I was staying with my parents, so my only job was to take care of him. I never figured it out, I honestly just hung out on the sofa most of the day feeding, holding and watching tv. Then for a few weeks he would let me put him down drowsy with his dummy. Have you tried that? I also never swaddled him.

Do you release the vacuum before pulling the nipple out?

I'd say three months is quite early for sleep training, but you do need to find something that works for you, so you don't go insane. I don't mind nursing him to sleep, I just started panicking that there never be a good time to get him of the breast and I'm creating a monster for the daycare

BiscuitLover2391

I was planning on exclusively breastfeeding for six months. He is a big boy (92nd percentile) with a huge appetite and I do have enough milk for him, but he started showing a lot of interest for my food, and waking A LOT during the night. Things like liking his lips and following my fork with his eyes, so I figured I'd try with a small meal of mash, and he absolutely loves it. It's not much, and I don't plan on increasing it anytime soon.
I would have preferred to be exclusively breastfeeding still, but I'm a single mum, and I just can't get up six times during the night. I really enjoy the peaceful night feeds, but sometimes I hadn't even gone back to sleep before he was up again.

I don't plan on trying controlled crying again. I've read up on both sides, and I guess some people swear by it, but I just can't bear it.

On a different note, I've heard a lot about how babies his age are supposed to sleep from 7 to 7. He usually wakes up around 6-7, I nurse him and then he sleeps until 9-10. Then he naps around 12, 3 and 5. It varies a lot when I trie to put him down for the night, I just follow his lead, but it's usually around 7-8.30. Most nights he wakes up after 30 minutes and is up until 11. Should I just go with it? It doesn't seem right to keep him up in the morning or skip naps when he's sleepy.
I'm not bothered as I'm a night owl myself. My mum stopped putting me down for a nap entirely before I was 2, cause I'd stay up all night, and I didn't get fussy at all during the day. Should I just let him call all the shots at this age?