Coping in isolation

[Chlandy]

Hey, I'm just looking for advice/reassurance I'm not alone I guess... we've been in isolation 2 weeks now due to my 3 year old having cough symptoms and getting sent home from nursery with it (didn't have it the morning I sent him). Obviously now with lockdown too this isn't ending anytime soon and omg were all going crazy, I follow some fab accounts on Instagram for play ideas. We've done family play such as Lego, hospitals and drs, painting, been for walks, played in the garden done activities sent by nursery... but every single day our son tantrums. From the minute he wakes up, to the minute he goes to bed its tantrum, tantrum, tantrum. We hand on heart are trying our best, I understand this is so tough on him too, he usually went to nursery every day, grandmas twice a week when I worked and Saturdays he spent the day with his dad and grandad usually doing something like playgym or outdoors so it's a big change. I'm honestly losing the will to live now, I'm sat sobbing because I feel so suffocated, I'm also 24 weeks pregnant. I know we're all in this boat together so I really do hate to moan but I'm struggling so much and isn't like we can get a break with lockdown. I just don't know how to help the tantrums or how to stop his boredom anymore than we're already doing! We think of new activities daily, revisit old activities, simply ask him what he wants to play and it always ends in a tantrum! This morning he wanted to play play doh so we were and he kept wanting to take mine and his dads play doh and we wouldn't let him snatch it off us so that was it he EXPLODED! He's not normally like this, he's not spoilt and very good at sharing etc, he knows the rules and how to play nicely, so I know it's the being stuck at home inside that's caused the change I just don't know how to deal with it :(! Thank you, sorry if this sounds like a silly childish ramble, I don't even feel like I can think straight anymore, I'm just super duper fed up like I imagine lots and lots of us are. Thank you x

I really feel for you, I expected to be having the same problems and was dreading lockdown.
But actually it's been amazing. We don't have to be anywhere for anything so if my 4 year old has a tantrum. Instead of trying to calm her down quickly to get where ever we had to be I can just let her have a tantrum. We're not going to be late for anything.
I feel so relaxed and I think its really helping her. My 1 year old son has come on leaps and bounds with walking and talking because he's had time to practice instead of being dragged around taking my daughter to preschool and activities.

I realise it would be different if I had to WFH and look after them but as a SAHM I'm loving staying at home!

That's probably not helpful but maybe if you tried to relax and don't try to entertain your son all the time, maybe try just one activity a day and try to get out in the fresh air for your daily exercise. And a bit of screen time won't do any damage as long as it's not all day everyday.

Just remember we're all staying home to save lives.

It is tough. It is ok to find it difficult. You sound like lovely parents who are trying their very best. I am 2 and a half weeks in with a 3 year old who also had a cough. I will echo the above poster said about maybe trying to do fewer activities and also relaxing on screen time. My 3 year old has definitely watched more than we would usually allow, but it has helped maintain sanity all round.

Have you explained what is happening to your son? And talked with him about how he feels about it? I have given mine a very simple explanation. One of the parts I have found emotionally tough is letting him feel sad and angry about having to stay home without instantly trying to make him feel better. It’s ok little ones feel angry and sad at the situation. I have talked about his feelings with him (which sometimes makes him cross!) and have told him stories about his favourite tv and book characters having to stay home and how they feel about it (he likes this). I think part of the light at the end of the tunnel is most small children are adaptable and they will get used to their new life (perhaps surprisingly quickly). I think the transition will often be the hardest part.

Best wishes.

Thank you for your comments both. Sorry for the delayed response, today sadly was probably our worst day of parenting so far. We didn't do any activities as such today, apart from play doh which he wanted to do and we did an obstacle course in the garden, again what he asked to go but other than that kept it quite chilled and all he did was play up and tantrum. He kicked our dog unprovoked (something he's not done before), really lashed out at both of us and screamed the majority of the day :(

Probably a bit controversial of me to admit here ha but we actually would LOVE screen time, he got a tablet from my Dad for Xmas and has zero interest in it, isn't into any tv really, he'll watch the odd show but it doesn't keep his attention! We would really welcome screen time for a bit of a break to be honest but he just isn't into it! He won't play by himself either always has to be me or his dad playing with him, which we don't mind, but it's getting very exhausting now 2 weeks into isolation! At nursery he's an angel child but his teachers say he's a leader and loves to play in groups never plays alone there either! I think we're really struggling keeping him stimulated enough, but then I do get the flip with over stimulation from too many activities too! Definitely need to find a balance, will keep going but honestly thank you for the reassurance, I won't lie I've cried a LOT today thanks to hormones too ha, tomorrow is a new day!

Hope you're keeping safe ladies, thank you xxx

Sorry forgot to respond too, to the explaining what's going on. We've tried using a little story/poem nursery sent us to explain to him and he got really upset about it just asking why it can't be ok now and when it will be ok, so he's definitely very upset, confused and angry at the situation. I admit though I'm not sure how else to talk to him about it other than what nursery have advised, I let him vent and perhaps wrongly, I admitted to him we're sad at the situation too but tried to stress most important is we're together and keeping safe and soon when it starts getting warmer, we'll be able to start going places again/seeing his grandparents etc. If you have any tips or advice on how I can better explain it to him or help him understand, or what you think I should do I'm open to anything to help him through this change! Thank you xxx

Try time out for the tantrums. These can be sitting him in a area nearby with a opened door but he has to go sit out of what's going on.
He will become more aware once you mention Do you need time out.
does he have a bike or scooter to spend time on exerting some physical activity?

I would stick to your rules and values of sharing even if he explodes.
When he is tired out put a cartoon on the tv he may begin to relax and zone out for a short time.
Can he FaceTime any family?

I will reply more tomorrow (my 3 year old threw a fit about not being able to go out this evening). I hugely sympathise with you wanting him to enjoy screen time. Parenting as you are is full on and I think most people in your situation would want their child to enjoy watching a bit of tv.

Also, I think telling him you are sad about the situation too is a really good thing to say. I think it can help children to know (within reason obviously) that adults feel difficult emotions too and also they often pick up we are sad so it is probably less confusing when we acknowledge it.

Hang on in there. Hope you get a good nights sleep xxx