Bad sport/loser

[DontBuyLangClegCashmere]

DD is 5. We play lots of board games as a family. We don't always let her win; sometimes I do, or give her a helping hand, and sometimes she genuinely wins outright (especially at card games and luck games).
This weekend I've noticed a few times that if she doesn't win she sometimes copes well and says Well done, but on occasion finds it very difficult, refusing to continue if someone has beaten her, taking/shoving pieces if she's annoyed and doesn't want to carry on...

I don't know what the best thing to do is - ignore, distract with a different game, cajole into continuing the proper way, refuse to play if she 'cheats'... Last one seems drastic but I'm not sure how best to proceed.

She is sometimes good at 'losing' and I know it's very normal, just want to help her learn good habits!

Bumping

www.verywellfamily.com/prevent-your-child-from-being-a-sore-loser-1094977

Stop letting her win or helping her.

Thanks both, that was an interesting link.

I always thought parents let their child get ahead a little, or help them when possible, as I said we don't always do it anyway. Perhaps I'll stop it entirely.

Thanks!

I'm always an advocate of teaching children about behaviour and morals etc through books. Doesn't feel like lecturing and you can ask questions in quite a relaxed way to make them think about their own actions. I cant think something suitable off the top of my head but a trip to the library to ask staff in the future or just Google searches might come up with something. Good luck op.

If you play team games, you can support her when she loses so she can learn. Pandemic is an adult game, the players against the game. There are others better for children. One about a sinking island?

Who is she learning good gaming behaviour from? Is there someone who makes a big deal out of being the winner? Because that makes it harder to be the loser. Being a gracious winner is just as important.

As an early years teacher I can assure you this is normal behaviour. Just keep playing the games but don't help her to win. Learning to lose is hard but so important.
On a side note, this practising and learning of social skills is what's worrying me most about schools being closed because you can bet she wouldn't react like that with her peers. Obviously you can't do anything about school or playing with friends right now so keep playing the games, letting her lose or win naturally. She'll get there in the end!

DH and I are both fairly relaxed about games especially when we're playing with her. We nearly always end a game with a handshake and say 'Well played/better luck next time'
Last week there were just a few occasions when she gave up halfway through because she was so far behind.
This week I've already seen a difference, she notices she's losing and looks sad but then says 'Oh well, never mind it's just a game, it doesn't matter if you win, it's supposed to just be fun'

I'll keep an eye on it and will stop letting her win at all!
Thanks all

My dd(16) was absolutely dreadful, we’d have to end games early, it was all rather horrible. We were just consistent in talking to her about possibly losing before playing a game. Not tolerating her behaviour if she did act out, time out etc....

It was always worse with family, her big sister in particular.

She has obviously matured and can now manage her feelings. she plays a team sport very regularly, she’s passionate about the game, she has lost often, she is often annoyed, but she is supportive of all her team mates and a good team player.

Be consistent, it’s a horrible part of their personality, but they have to learn to manage it.