Mum of 2.. struggling

[navteexo]

Hi

I have a son who will be 2 next week, and a daughter who is 8 weeks old tomorrow. I feel like crap, i feel like a rubbish mother because all i do is shout at my son all day.

Yesterday DD was crying non stop and being super needy. After an hour of trying to settle her she fell asleep, put her in her basket and sat down to have a drink of water. DS started jumping about because he saw a bird outside the window. I told him to shhh!!! He started crying and dd woke up again. I feel so guilty because i know thats not the way, i cant just shut DS up because DD is asleep, especially during the day - thats the time he is meant to be playing, jumping about etc. Hes just a kid himself.

Ive also totally ruined DS's routine. Hes a very active child, and doesnt nap through the day. He has dinner at 5 and sleeps by 6, till 8am the next day. Since our daughters been born, i find myself forcing him to sleep in the day so that i can feed DD in peace, or i can just get a few mins to myself. Hes understandably confused because hes only used to sleeping in his bed at night.

I feel so crap right now .. im not cut out to be a mum of 2, but the fact is i am a mum of 2 and i have to deal with it better than i am..how do you do it?

Don't be so hard on yourself. It's hard having two tiny ones at the best of times, never mind when you can't go out or see anyone!

Do you have a DP and is he/she pulling their weight?

Lower your standards right down for the next few weeks while the baby is tiny. Don't worry about food (feed them obviously, but fishfingers are fine!). Don't worry about mess or anything like that.

Try and get out for some fresh air if possible. Let DS run around and burn off some energy.

Will he watch a movie or TV while you feed the baby?

A good option if you have a bath, is just put him in the bath, keep the warm water topped up, lots of bubbles and stuff to play with. If you can put something new in the bath that's always a winner (Duplo, a tea set, animals/little people, dolly). Old toys in new places always seem to hold their attention. Or just cups and things to pour. Make yourself a comfy seat and feed the baby while he's in the bath.

It will get much easier! Hang in there x

@NuffSaidSam thank you so much! Im so glad you said that about the fish fingers lol! Ive been giving him fish fingers and waffles yesterday and today. I will definitely try the bath with toys, great idea. Thank you x x

I’ve got a 4 week old and nearly 3 year old and feel exactly the same. I’m losing my patience with my 3 year old and my baby barely sleeps and recently is unhappy a lot of the day. I’m relying on it getting better in time.

Oh I just posted something very similar! I have a 22mo DS and 6 week old DD and I am seriously struggling being stuck indoors with both, trying to feed a constantly hungry baby and a very energetic tantrumming toddler. Sorry no advice as I need help too, just to let you know that you're not alone with struggling with 2! Hopefully it gets better soon! X

@user1493413286 yep i feel you! My baby doesnt sleep either. Its a nightmare.

@UterusesBeforeDuderuses we are all in this together. One day, we shall have time for ourselves again lol