2yr old always hurts other children

[2tots]

My son is almost 2 and I am beside myself with anguish. Every time we are around other children he pulls their hair until they cry or push them over ar steal all their toys. My older daughter (5) was never like this. I feel so embarrased when he does this and I'm at the stage I don't want to go out and dread it if I have to. If I do go out I don't enjoy it because I have to watch him like a hawk. He acts so tough but is a real scaredie underneath and can be so loving at times too. My husband really roughed him up as a baby. I'm wondering if this could be the problem or am I too soft on him. He's really naughty and I feel like I'm yelling at himm all the time. Can you help me.

2tots

it is a phase.

Not what you wanted to hear I know but it really truly is. My DS1 was an angel until 6 weeks ago. He's now 3.5 and I've just had to come home from a playground because of shouting and pushing younger kids, so I know the anguish you are feeling. It's a really hard part of parenting.

You analyse the situation and wonder why they are doing it and it is almost always down to wanting your attention and feeling a bit insecure that day couple with a develpomental phase.

IME (very recent experience I am still blushing about) the important thing is to be consitent, carry out threats of 'we're going home' not just make them and show the other mothers that you are aware of the behaviour and are taking steps to deal with it.

I take it our dd is at school, so maybe you could put aside some special time with ds and just do what he wants to do to show him he does have your attention.

FWIW my DS1 told me today that he wanted to make me sad (get my attention by behaving terribley) because I was talking to the other mothers and not going on the apparatus with him. I say this to illustrate that he can tell me why he is misbehaving but your almost 2 year old can only express himself through his behaviour.

HTH and don't worry, almost every other mother who witnesses this kind of behviour has been there done that and knows what you are going through

here here Suzy - deffinately a phase but as Suzy says you still have to deal with it and not ignore it.

I would make sure you have some sort of routine in place when he does this a time out or quiet time or yes that you just stick him in the buggie and go home explaining that if he behaves like that you can't stay and go home and do something that isnlt lovely and stimulating and what he wants to do.

He will soon get the message that his behaviour is not right and believe me telling them NO very firmly at that age does work and they do understand what it means.

That's right Twinkie, and I bet you will get your share of jealous of mum and the new bub style behaviour too pretty soon - which will be just a phase.

FWIW I handed baby DS2 over to MIL this afternoon and got some one on one with DS1 and he is back to his old kind and friendly self, so just because your child has been a demon for one part of the day doesn't mean they are altered forever, although it seems like it at the time.

Suzy is right! It is a phase but of course you cannot ignore it as such. I have found my DS wants to play with other children but does not have the language skills to initiate play so he will push and barge in an effort to get their attention. I am telling him off but also trying to instigate play between him and the other child, it is working thus far/at the moment (tomorrow is another day/stage...).