3 year olds behaviour

[FireUnicorn]

Hello I'm a mum off 5 children age from 13 year old twins to the younger 3 years old. (3 boys and 2 girls) Sorry if this is all over the place but I have a few things I'm looking for advice on.

Telling him off is hard work as he will just laugh at you and trying to discipline him I'm struggling with. I have tried sticker charts but to him they are for "babies" I have tried the time out step but that just turns into a battle and he will move up and down the stairs telling us which one he wants to sit on.

First thing he is almost potty trained in the day time we had a good few months with no accidents till recently its a battle to get him to use the toilet and we are having many accidents. I have tried to ignore him, take aways what he's playing with till he's gone but this doesn't work he will just keep saying he doesn't need to go and when he doesn't wet hisself he blames it on someone else poo well thats another story.

Ahh meal times he's always been a fussy eater and is funny with textures but the main problem is playing with food! Pouring yoghurt on his hair or playing with it which he finds funny.

Last one which I'm a bit embarrassed to post about is tantrums yes all children have tantrums but his can go on for hours over nothing! He will just cry, scream, chucks anything he can get his hands on, and try to attack you. Once he's calmed down you wouldn't think anything had happened.

Sorry for the long post I could go on!

With the tantrums are you giving him attention the entire time? Try ignoring the tantrum and leaving the room. As for disciple, he's just acting his age.

Do you have any concerns about his development? Language, friends etc

He's removed from the situation so if its a tantrum over sharing toys he's removed from the playroom we ignore him as best as we can but he gets so hysterical so he is being talked to try and calm him down. Normally ends up in me hugging him despite hubby hatting me doing it. Once calm you wouldn't think he even just had a tantrum he will talk and laugh again.

No I think he's doing well in his development as a family we do bike racing and he's the youngest racer on the track, and gets on with the other children. Wouldn't say he's behind maybe a little advance for his age

Sounds like you and hubby have different opinions on how best to parent.

What’s his way of doing things? Could it be worth a try? Doing the whole good cop bad cop thing doesn’t work. You could be too kind and he could be too harsh in order to make up for the other one being too kind/too harsh. You both need to parent the same so the message is consistent.

You’ve presumably been successful with your older children. Is this your youngest? Are you babying him as he’s your last little one? Nobody likes their child hysterically upset but the message you are giving him is to get hysterical means you get rewarded with mummy hugs. Not ideal.

His way would be to shut him in is bedroom till he's calmed down, he will trash him room or will make hisself sick. The tantrums can go on for hours even when giving him a cuddle. He will just switch and go back to normal. There is no reasoning with him while he's crying and shouting.

Yes non off my older children was as bad as he is, he is my youngest. I don't think I'm babying him

There was a child like that on that naughty nursery prog on ch4, see if it’s still online as they found something that helped his behaviour, could help you?

Thank you I couldn't find it online. Guess in just at my whits end with him and now being stuck at home he's even worse

Found it - Britain’s Naughtiest Nursery! It’s still available on sky on 5star channel. I got the name wrong sorry!

Watch out for tv adverts for another programme coming soon. It’s by the Three Day Nanny woman but I can’t recall if it’s called that this time. It was only advertised the other night but I can’t remember the details.

You have basically described my daughter when she was 3. She’s now 5, still pretty head strong, ‘intense’ and I don’t think will ever be the type of person to go with the flow (unlike both me and her dad who are virtually sloth like in our personalities).

I have to admit, I didn’t enjoy her company very much back then. The tantrums were insane and often quite violent. She was so strong too!! And the way you describe your DS moving up and down the stairs during time out was just like her.... she would say “no! I’m sitting on THIS step” as she wanted control. Reward charts just never worked. She placed absolutely no value in the reward. She still couldn’t care less about toys or TV or iPads etc. Still doesn’t. Also praise kind of irritates her, so regarding the good behaviour doesn’t seem to work either!!

I struggled big time. But looking back I think a big part of it was that I didn’t know how to handle such a high energy personality. I’ve never really liked people with ‘tigger’ personalities and boundless energy. I’m very placid and noise, excitement and rushing around puts me on edge.

So I’ve learned to bring myself up to her level rather than try and calm her down to mine. On the odd occasion that she does chill (the fuck) out a bit, I absolutely LOVE it!! But it’s very rare and usually a sign she’s coming down with something. My stamina is improving though. Lockdown is certainly going to test me out!! However, if I give her some really focussed attention she seems to get a bit calmer. I find she needs a lot of validation and reassurance.

She is now very bright, a fast learner and I genuinely think she might have a photographic memory. I have no fucking clue where she gets that from!! She is very popular at school and a bit of a leader. But doesn’t really have much empathy. I do wonder if she is on the Asbergers spectrum, would explain a lot.

@Elieza thank you I have find it online currently watching it now.

Oh no Knobblybobbly! But they both do sound a like. We a bit off a mad family lol but he is definitely my most hyper child his batteries just never run out.

He's smart knows more than some off my other children 😳 but I have put this down to him being the youngest and always is asking questions

My daughter has come into her own at school. Being challenged mentally has really helped.

You could try doing some early years education with him, challenge him (if you can get him to sit still!!) and see whether he can burn off some mental energy.

My daughter is at her calmest when she does maths.

Mine turns 4 in August so I'm hoping he'd settle down for school.

Thank you I will definitely try that with him while the other are doing school work at home I'd try and get him to do some

The other programme I was on about has just been advertised again. It is the Three Day Nanny, 7 April, on W channel. Could be worth a watch.