Widowed nhs worker

[snop]

Hi all I'm after some advice
I became widowed a few months ago and am wondering what to do about staying home with my two children. I'm panicking about getting the virus as if anything happens to me, my children will be on their own. I only have elderly family to look after them so can't ask them as they are self isolating, I work for the nhs although not front it line staff. Don't want to stay off but panicking about bringing the virus home from the hospital I work in each day .

Oh gosh lovely. I’m sorry I can’t really help but didn’t want to read and not reply. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through.

You will be ok, keep your health and fitness up! Maybe make it part of your daily routine with kids? Making a healthy meal (maths for measurements etc) & exercise (joe wicks on YouTube I think) will help

Is it worth talking to your GP? My mum struggled after my dad died and antidepressants helped her get through and keep things in context a bit xx

In all honesty, I’d be considering asking for a MH fit note from the GP. Or discussing your situation with HR. Or both.

You have no suitable childcare, you’re recently bereaved, and not frontline. Your DC are also recently bereaved and need you.

Thanks for your replies, I am still in the same situation and just been taking each day as it comes. I'm now terrified that my children will lose me if I contract this virus, I am torn between doing the right thing and going to work everyday as I know our NHS needs all the help it can get at the moment, but at the same time being constantly worried about dying from this virus and what that will mean for my children.

I have the same fear of dying from this virus as I’m in the extremely high risk group & hve a three month old baby (my first). I’m having support from my GP to cope - some medication but also cognitive behavioural therapy. It is helping with the anxiety surrounding the virus - please do talk to your GP if you haven’t already, you need to discuss the situation & get support. Our surgery are practically begging people to still get in touch with them... they know people need help coping with this.

Yes, the NHS needs people at the moment BUT much more importantly, you need to be kind & compassionate to yourself, look after yourself. You’ve been through a huge trauma & the current situation will be compounding it. Your GP will be able to provide you with objective advice.

Do you have any friends in real life that you can talk to about this, any neighbours you can have a chat with over the fence or anyone you can skype etc?

In this situation, I would be asking for leave.

Honestly.

Even in purely practical terms, this is sensible - and helping the situation.

If you got sick, it wouldn't just be you - you'd be handing the care of two children to folk who might not cope, it might make them ill, and if anything happened to you - there's two children potentially now having to be looked after by the state.

That's a worse outcome, for everyone including us taxpayers, than you being on leave to protect them, yourself and your elderly relatives.

As just an everyday person, I would want someone in your position protected at home, with your vulnerable dependants. It makes sense.

I think you have really strong reasons to be staying at home.

And I do think that the fact that your children have already lost a parent, and recently at that, forms part of your valid reasons for being off work.

The NHS are going to need staff who are healthy and mentally well once this crisis is over. In the longterm you can more than do your part for the team by being back at full strength when the time is right.

In your case I would get a GP note and stay at home OP.
You need to be fit and healthy and there for your children.
I’m sorry for your loss

I worry about this too op. I'm not a key worker but dh died 2 years ago and i worry that if i die of corona my kids will be orphans. They've coped with their dad dying but losing me too might push them over the edge. It's difficult because having kids that could potentially be orphaned doesn't entitle us to any special consideration such as online grocery deliveries that we'd get if we were elderly. But elderly people don't often have kids dependent on them.