Support thread for those wfh with toddlers

[Wfhwith3yearold]

Hi folks

Being at home with my 3year old, great.
Wfh, easy, I get a lie in.

Wfh full time with a 3 year old.... Not sure how that's going to work.

I was thinking might be an idea to share ideas for those of us working from home with toddlers.

I've set up a desk for my DD next to me so she can help. Also, thank god disney ± starts this week.

What is everyone else doing to try and make things work?

My husband wfh normally. We have a 2 year old dd.

Realistically simultaneous wfh and childcare of a toddler doesn't work... Sorry

What time does your dd go to bed? Could you put in a really focused few hours in once she is asleep, and maybe an hour or two in the morning before she wakes?

Remember without your dd around you are likely to be much more efficient with your time working from home rather than with normal office distractions.

Nature of my job means it has to be during business hours. Luckily my boss accepts that I might not be able to do much at times.

Definitely signing in to this!

I’ve asked a couple of questions on other threads about how we’re supposed to juggle these dual roles. Every reply has basically been ‘you work in one or both of the roles from the moment you wake up until the moment you go to bed’. That’s fine for a few days (I guess), but 2-3 months?? I don’t think so. My DD aged 2.5 still doesn’t sleep through reliably (or at all this past week!), and is up at 6am every day, so I’m hanging out my backside anyway. Zero downtime and the pressure of solely managing two huge roles will see me back in a depressive slump in about a week.

I asked work how I was supposed to manage it (large charity in a non-vital marketing office), to be told by my child hating manager that I could give her a weekly plan of hours I can work, start early in the morning, do a ‘long morning’ (?) then log back in once DD is asleep at 7.30pm.

YEAH RIGHT!!

Can you imagine explaining that to DD aged 2.5? ‘Sorry darling, mummy just needs to log in to this 1hr Teams meeting on her laptop right in front of you, then immediately ignore you for another 2hrs while she answers emails and writes reports. See you at 1pm angel! Don’t get in to any mischief! Oh, and here’s the plan for the rest of the week, cast your eye over it won’t you, so you know when not to bother mummy’.

I’ll be going straight back to my awful manager and talking about parental discrimination, and I would urge others to think about doing the same.

I'm joining in here! We are both at home with our 15 month old dd but DH has to be available at all times so will be mainly me! My work have been really flexible and understand I won't get much done, but could definitely do with some ideas to keep her entertained!

I have a very energetic 4 year old who has never been able to entertain himself. He’s also an only child so no one else at all to play with. Me and my husband are both working from home and are basically doing 2 hour shifts each. We are very lucky we can do that. I’m a teacher so I go on line and set work for the day in my first ‘shift’ then mark it, respond to emails, plan etc in my next ones. I am on a rota for going into school though, so my husband will be on his own then.
We have actually been in isolation since Tuesday night when my son developed a temperature of 39. He’s ok now just a very snotty nose (not a symptom as far as I know) and it’s been a very long week. Really not looking forward to months of this though I know it’s for the best.
When I became aware that isolation/school closures was a real possibility I bought lots of cheap, little presents (Lego sets, balls, colouring books, books etc) and I intend to give him one new thing each day as long as I can! He has been totally Unimpressed with anything craft or board games related though...

My 2 year old is watching A LOT of television right now while we try and work up to some form of routine. He also wakes up early, doesn't nap, and doesn't reliably go to sleep when he's meant to.

Luckily my employer is very understanding (for now).

I feel like I'm being a crap parent and a crap employee.

DivGirl

I feel like I'm being a crap parent and a crap employee.

You have summed up my feelings perfectly

Not the same as I'm studying with my 4 year old at home.

Only managed 300 words for my essay. 900 to go and lots of articles and study to read on top.

It’s so hard! I have already been home almost 2 weeks (including 6 days not going out at all when I didn’t know it was ok to go for a walk) when 17mo DS had a fever just as the self isolation rules came in.

I am actually really struggling. Spent a lot of yesterday in tears. The house is wrecked. I’m losing energy to do anything - work, home or child related as it’s all just too much.

So far he’s enjoyed playing with a bowl of water and a bowl of oats and reading lots of books and getting out for walks. The rest of the time he roams around pulling things off shelves and destroying them.

pjani that sounds so hard 😣 the wrecking of the house is definitely a problem here too, I don’t know if I have a really hyperactive child but she spends all her time yanking things out of cupboards, scaling the couch, climbing tables, toys everywhere 😕. When I saw that email from my childless managers I was so frustrated as they’re obviously envisaging some TV style kid sitting and colouring at the table 🤦‍♀️

Do you have a garden? Can you get him in the sandpit or playing with water out there while you sit with a coffee and do some work?

I don’t have a proper garden, so I’m taking some advice from another thread and getting my DD in the bath with a load of toys tomorrow, use it as play time while I attempt to crack on with work, sitting on the loo next to the bath 😕 might see if I can get some food colouring and other exciting items on the go too.

Is anyone else’s child just constantly like ‘Mummy Mummy Mummy look at me Mummy hey Mummy I’m a cat miaow chase me you be a dog Mummy Mummy Mummy!!’ and various other delights? My DD will sit and quietly watch telly or play for approx 10-15 mins at a time, maybe 4/5 times a day. The rest of the time is mayhem!

I'm studying with a three year old. We've got some kind of routine

Morning - exercise/YouTube/yoga type thing

Breakfast - free play while I try and read/plan assignment work material

Late morning- life skills help mummy prepare lunch, vac, put laundry in

Lunch time

30 mins of tv while I tidy up

Afternoon- reading, jigsaws will eventually resort to arts and crafts

Free play time, set up Lego's, train toys, filled a bucket with soapy water in garden today that kept him quiet for ages. I aim for 30mins plus of assignment work.

Snack time

Late afternoon- if it's quiet to avoid anyone scoot on bike outside our home

Help make dinner

Tidy up time

Tv until dinner

Bath time - plan on getting some food colouring to turn into messy play

golden when is you study then?

About an hour - 2 hours dotted through day and mostly evenings. Admitted defeat. Day times for toddler. Any work is a win

Any ideas for entertaining a 13 month old? He's just learning to walk so wants to spend all day cruising along the furniture, face-planting onto the floor, & then crying. He's also refusing to nap most of the time so he's been really grumpy.

Classically maybe try getting a plastic mixing bowl or measuring jug filled with wooden spoons and ladles and plastic utensils, so he can bang them around to his heart’s content? Do you have a cheapo fabric tunnel or tent, fill them with toys or plastic balls and let him crawl around in them? Morrisons sell all that, I’m sure other big supermarkets do too.

If not, make a fort or den with sofa cushions and blankets, similar principle.

I also got some simple touch games on the iPad, just pressing the animals to make them bark or Moo whatever, look up baby games on the App Store maybe?

I feel like I’m going to break and it’s day 1. Got 3 y/o twins. It’s awful I mean I know there are people in worse situations but I literally don’t know how this is meant to work.
I have a pretty full on job for a multi national that will get through this (obviously will take a financial hit but longer term will be fine), husband has an extremely full on job in a now struggling company (was mega full on before this).
Work are making the right noises but still expect everything to be done. My boss has a non working partner and a 3 and 5 y/o and thinks it’s the same. No it’s not your partner doesn’t have a job!
I’ve literally just moaned....sorry but needed a rant!

A lot of us seem to be in the same situation.

I think the stress of the unknown is also making every so much harder. My work are expecting everything to come to a grinding halt at the end of the month. Doesn't bode well but hoping the governments 80% salary deal will kick in if things get too bad.

To make things worse for ourselves we have decided to get DD out of nappies. She has been doing really with it at nursery by not at home. A few puddles to deal with.

Actually went OK today. Big part of the day was spent watching cocomelon on YouTube and colouring.

Tried the Joe wicks thing this morning but she is a bit young. Going to try some tumble tits tomorrow.

Unfortunately the one time DD decided to be really uncooperative was when I was trying to join a zoom meeting. Could not figure out the app!

Sitting with my feet up while hubby does bedtime.

How is everyone getting on? I’d fond of so much easier if my son would do a range of activities, but he won’t do any drawing/craft type thing, play board games (basic orchard ones) or do jigsaws. All he wants to do is pretend play superhero’s or play with his superhero figures and tell me what to do. Or run around the garden with me chasing him. I’m sooooo bored (and fed up of playing ‘wrong’!!!) after a week in isolation he won’t even sit and watch tv anymore.

Find it, not fond of!

Tumble tits @Wfhwith3yearold 😂 In all seriousness I too am working from home with a three year old and as others have said I feel like I'm doing a rubbish job of everything. But it's early days and I hope we'll get into a new rhythm... if not then I fear for my little family as this isn't healthy for any of us (doesn't help we're a few days into 14 days of self-isolating 😩).

Today was a nightmare. DD did not cooperate at all. Drawing on the table when I was on a conference call.

Got no work done today at all. I'm pregnant as well, first trimester still, and felt awful and tired all day! Felt like a rubbish parent today.

Summerdays2014 at least DD will sit and draw all day. Just not always on what I want her to draw on. Can imagine how you would work while doing make believe type games.

Moomin37 - obviously supposed to be tble tots. Tumble tits might not be child appropriate! I hope everyone is OK in your home. I feel you pain today. Hopefully we settle into a routine. DH is working from home from tomorrow so I'm not sure whether that is a good thing or now!

Oh well, see what happens tomorrow I guess

Today was actually my best day so far. I got soooooo little work done though. Still trying to find a balance and routine.

Mine is only just 2 and will play with trains for a little while but nothing really holds his attention for long, and he constantly wants me to come sit with him. Potty training is going well though - he took me to the toilet today and watched me until I was done.

Ah I’m so glad I’ve found this thread! Me and dh are working alternate shifts from home but it’s really hard being 100% essential employee to 100% parent I’m absolutely burnt out. Also getting overlaps by important work calls so leaving dd to it a fair bit... is that ok? I feel so guilty both ways

My work have been great to be honest so I've pulled back from managing things as it just wasn't working trying to negotiate between mine and DH diaries so I now work 6-9 take the kid till 5:30 (working through naptime) and then work 5:30-8 when it's dinner time and then to bed to rinse and repeat.

Have also been doing it for over 2 weeks now due to an initial 7 days isolation and I'm beyond bored of it, its never ending and never lets up.