Custody after death

[Aloneandfedup]

Been thinking about what would happen to my daughter if I ever passed away. I don’t have a will etc but if I had it written down somewhere would my wishes have to be followed?

The father would automatically be given the child (unless there were safeguarding issues).

I don't think they would have to be followed, but would be taken into account, though I agree with Northern the default would be the Dad.

Otherwise though, much better to have the discussion 'I'd like her to live with Auntie Jean because ….' and make sure Auntie Jean knows, as well as your parents, other siblings etc.

You can adjust things as the children grow up and circumstances change. So you are making a choice for what you would want if you died now, not if you died in 5 years time.

DDIJ No. So the default would be the 'other birth parent'. Though tbf many more children live with single mums than singe dads, so not an unreasonable assumption.

All parents should make a will and appoint an executor and a guardian.
Usually the default would be the surviving parent, but it isn't unheard of for both parents to die.
If there isn't a second parent it is imperative that a guardian is named in your will.

My understanding is that you cannot appoint a guardian on your death in place of another living parent with parental responsibility but you can appoint a joint guardian so your choice of guardian would then essentially have parental responsibility together with the DC's other parent. The guardian needs to be appointed in your will.

You can then leave a letter of wishes to your guardian setting out what you would like them to do and that can include custody/court applications etc. My ExH is not capable of having safe unsupervised contact and therefore my letter of wishes says that if he tries to get 'custody' I want the appointed guardian to take the matter to court and have I left money and evidence to support that. Of course you can't force the guardian to follow your wishes but my chosen guardian knows and understands my wishes in respect of that (as well as other issues of how I would like the DC looked after).

It's certainly something to think carefully about and make sure that you have provided for hard though it is to contemplate/deal with. If you're unsure you should take advice from a solicitor who specialises in this area.

My DD would go to her dad's but my money she inherits will be under my sister's control until she is 24.
If we both die then my sister becomes her guardian,we put this in pace when she was born and kept it when ex and I divorced.