After being teary all day I went to pick DD 5 up. I held her hand and explained tomorrow is going to the last day of school before a long rest. She knows there are germs around and the teachers have tried to teach her this. Her little face looked confused when she said on Monday can I take a cereal bar for my snack. I reminded her that schools finished.
I kept it light. I told her we would have fun and be ok.
Inside though I feel absolutely gutted for her. Tomorrow she comes home and may not see her school for many months. She won't see her friends. She won't laugh and run with her friends after school. She won't run out to hug me and ask for her snack. She won't wave to me through the window when I drop her off.
Her starting school was emotional. I said goodbye to my little girl and watched her learn a new way of life. A life away from me. But she soon was loving it. She has happily gone everyday. She has learned so much. She has a wonderful kind teacher. One she may never be taught by again. I have told her how important school is. So far we have looked forward to every half term for the family time. To have her home with us.
Today I'm sad for my little girl. Mainly because I can't really tell her the most likely scenario with all the facts. How do I explain to her if September is the time they go back that it will be different. She wont be in reception with the colourful walls and the pet guinea pig. How do I tell her the little playground all for them won't be for her use anymore. How do I tell her she will play less. Or her new teacher could be a man (she is nervous around men) how do I tell her she won't see daisy and Ella anymore. It that she won't be having her lunch with her friends again for a long time. How do I tell her the holidays won't be fun. We've cancelled our Easter holiday. We can't go for days out. How do I tell her we can't meet up with friends like we normally do. How do I tell her In a month on Sunday night that there's still no school tomorrow.
Also how do I help myself feel ok? How do I make peace with what feels like a huge loss right now. Her first disco is cancelled. No trip this summer now. No more going into school to watch them tell us a story. How do I not feel sad that my little girl has been cheated out of months of fun, learning and socialising? How do we keep positive when we are cut off from everyone we love and normally see?
Tomorrow is going to be hard. Knowing it will be the last time I chat with my mum friends and go for our mile walk to school each morning. The last time I'll chat to someone at the gates about little things whilst waiting for the kids to run out to us. The tapestry will no longer be updated with pictures of my little girl having fun and learning.
It all feels like a huge loss. I hope with all my heart that these kids are back in school this summer. I hope the year 6s get to say goodbye to their friends. I hope the reception kids get to complete their work for this year and topics. I hope they adjust to year one properly and don't get shoved in in September. .
I saw two year 6 children crying today. They were heartbroken about leaving primary behind and potientally never going back. It's a really upsetting time.
I hope we get some positive news soon in regards to all this.