Nc as it's quite outing if anyone were to see this.
Background info for context - DSS7 lives with us full time as his dm has severe mental health problems and there were serious concerns about neglect. After a period of him living with us in order for her to recoup social services decided that it is best he now live with us full time permanently and have contact with his mum. It's a very sad situation, and she is very unwell.
He is v happy living here and seeing his mum every other friday and Saturday night, and every Wednesday for a few hours. She cannot have him overnight on school nights. Obviously time with her is extremely important to him and so it's important to us to make sure he has that time. She struggles to collect him etc so OH does all drops offs and collections.
When she had her first overnight with DSS after her breakdown last summer, she stayed with DSS at a male friends house and DSS slept in this friends bed. He says mummy and the friend slept on the sofa. The social worker advised her this wasn't really ok and that he was to sleep in his own bed when with her at her house as it's important that when he's with her he's in amongst his own things and it's as 'normal' for him as possible.
She agreed and we all moved on.
DSS has come back from two overnights with his mum and told us that last night he stayed at a different male friends house overnight. He says it got too late to go home.
We don't know this male friend. DSS has two precious nights with his mum a fortnight, which in our opinion should be spent in his own bed where he has his own things and a normal routine.
I like to think we're pretty chilled out people, but I feel unable to think 'outside the box' here and all we feel is seriously uneasy. I'm sure this male friend is a perfectly lovely person, and that DSS had a nice time. If we say anything to DSS's mum we risk a serious fallout, communications are hanging by a thread as it is.
How would you feel about this? I need some outside perspective, there is so much clouding our judgement here.