5 Weeks Old and Constantly Fussing

[CCW86]

My DS is currently 5 weeks old and constantly fussing. For the first 4 weeks, he would pretty much sleep straight after a feed, and was content throughout the day and night. Now, he hates being put down and rarely sleeps unless being held or during tummy time. We can usually put him down for a short period of time after he has settled on us, but then he will realise he is alone and start fussing, which usually turns into hysterical cries. We are coping with nights by having my husband and I tag teaming with one sleeping, whilst the other holds DS and allowing him to sleep on us, or sleep on his tummy whilst we watch over him to make sure he is ok. Its not an ideal situation esp as my husband is going back to work soon. I'm sure by giving in, we are allowing him to get into the habit of only sleeping this way, but I just can't bare having him cry and cry, and it means no one is getting any rest. We have tried swaddling and Co sleeping but nothing seems to work unless he is actually in our arms. Any tips?

Maybe look into if he has reflux? My ds was the same, fine for 2 weeks. Then diagnosed with dairy and soya allergy. Also reflux. He would scream and sick up milk if laid down straight away. Has to be upright for half an hour then hes ok to be put down. They can also have silent reflux, so no spit up but it's still causing pain.

May be worth looking into.. x

Thanks Snoopy, we considered this but he feeds really well and has certainly been putting on the pounds so not sure if it could be reflux

It sounds like you're having a tough time. I wouldn't encourage sleeping on his front at this stage - you could easily nod off. The back to sleep campaign has been part of a reduction in SIDS. Does he have a dummy? That made a massive difference at about 6 weeks for us in helping DS to settle and stay settled.

Hi, it's worth noting that babies of this age are not supposed to sleep through the night, it is unrealistic to expect them to do so.
Lots of skin to skin cuddling and contact is needed and required. Don't force your baby to separate from you at this stage

At this age, you're not going to form any bad habits, that's just impossible til they are much older. Leaving them to cry is definitely not advised though, five minutes to collect yourself is fine but longer is not good for them. They need to know you're there for them.

Mine had terrible reflux but gained weight just fine so don't rule it out.

Sharing a bed, although I know many on here will advise it, is so dangerous. Many parents have done it "safely" (no blankets and all that) and still lost children.

Join some fb groups that promote evidence based safe sleep - they have lots of tips on how to get your baby to sleep.

It sucks, my baby was the same, but keep taking it in shifts and you'll get through it.

And just to add that it's normal. So normal. No one ever seems to mention that newborns often go through fussy times when they only sleep on you. I guarantee that almost all new parents are experiencing exactly this and that it is not anything you're doing wrong and it can't be changed. But you will get through it.

We made tons of iced coffee to keep in the fridge to keep up going while we held him

Don't think of it as 'giving in' think of it as meeting what he needs?

There is obviously something bothering him, perhaps looking at reflux or colic.

Good luck to you, this phase will pass - you're doing a great job, honestly. Your baby needs comfort and you're giving it - it's the right thing to do.

Thank you LovelsLovely. I think everyone has ideas of what things will be like which are often realistic, so its nice to have reassurance that its ok if things don't go that way and its normal for things not to be easy. Good thing I didn't sleep much during my last few months of pregnancy due to being uncomfortable. It certainly trained me for the lack of sleep now!

Mine also is a big boy and never had issues with weight gain. They actually tend to feed more to soothe the burning pain from reflux. Mine only ever settled on us or in his bouncer x

Hi CCW86

My daughter was the same at five weeks old. My midwife recommended that I look up 'Wonder Weeks', it's a book/app that goes through the big mental development 'leaps' that a baby goes through in their first 20 months. It essentially explains why at some weeks of age babies can be more clingy and cry more. The first leap is at five weeks old. It seemed to fit with my daughter, and I think we've also just experienced leap 2. As I've only experienced two of of the 20 leaps I can only base my experience on a short amount of time, but it's helped me to understand why we've suddenly had a few days of more crying and why it's been so hard to put her down several nights in a row when she had previously been sleeping fine, so I would recommend looking into it.

Sorry this isn't a recommendation to solve the problem, but hopefully it will help you to understand a possible reason for the fussiness. Granted I'm sure there are many other possible reasons too.

Hope it improves soon for you =)

Hi @Mahonia, Thanks for that info. I will definitely look into that. No doubt I will have much time not sleeping anyway so will be good to read something interesting