How did you teach your child to dress themselves?

[crazychemist]

DD is 3.5. She’s completely cooperative about me dressing her, but I don’t feel like she’s making any progress in learning to do it independently - what did you do?

E.g. if I put her head through her top, she can push her arms through. But she doesn’t have any desire to put it over her own head and doesn’t seem to have a clue how to do that part. I’ve tried breaking it down into smaller steps but I’ve not had any luck. Basically she’s no better in terms of this area of self-care than she was a year ago.

I don’t mind too much that she can’t get it quite right yet, she has another 18 months till she starts reception so she’s got plenty of time to practice, but I’ve not seen any progress at all in such a long time. Would love some tips!

What will she do if you just leave her to it?

Teach one item at a time. Eg knickers. Sit her down with knickers by her toes etc.
When she cracked that, trousers are the same principle, but you have to find your toes.
But by bit or they're exhausted

Just refused to do the things that I thought they could do (unless we were running late). Yes, sometime it took an hour, sometimes they never got fully dressed but eventually both of mine lost patience with me a did it themselves. I did this with ever action until they were getting themselves dressed.

They've got to really want to imo. My toddler learned really early out of being stubborn and independent and not wanting me to dress her. She's not let me dress her since quite small and was the same with weaning- insisting on feeding herself even if it meant nothing went in. The only thing we've had to talk about and practice is getting things the right way around/ on the right foot. So I don't think it's anything you have or haven't done up to this point. Maybe your dd isn't particularly interested in dressing herself atm. Can you spend time with some dc who do get themselves dressed and maybe she'll want to keep up with them and not be the only one who can't do it? She might see the point in learning if she's slower/ can't do it and her peers are. She's probably quite chilled out? My dd is the biggest tantrummer still. We all are good at some things and slower at others I think.

The real challenge is when she can do it, but she doesn't so it because she's rather play.

Start with knickers then trousers and work up to tops; I’d recommend making it fun and giving lots of praise. My DDs nursery had a pj day where they took clothes in and got dressed there and that really got her interest and she’s loved putting her clothes on herself since then

My DS wasn’t really into it. I started with lying things out so it was easy for him as he’d get them backwards etc. does she do knickers and trousers after the toilet? I felt that’s where it really started and it just gradually morphed into him doing it fully himself. Also summer when it was literally just shorts and a tshirt really helped.

We also made it a race and he got a reward if he did it well (whatever random thing - doesn’t have to be a toy or food - Helping feed the cat, choosing his breakfast cereal, using the toy story cup etc)

Depends on the child sometimes. My middle.one loves dressing herself. My older one (6.5) also happily chooses his own clothes, though that's only been recently. Youngest (4) likes to have help, which is completely fine because it's not like she'll be 15 and wanting me to help.

Would it help to give her fancy dress clothes to try? She might feel more motivated to put on a Frozen outfit (or whatever she is into).

I bought a rag doll called Billy Button. He had dungarees with one of every kind of clothes fastening - a zip, a popper, a button, a toggle and then soft shoes with tied up shoelaces.
DD practised dressing and undressing him when she was 2, and progressed easily to dressing herself. Unfortunately she extended her remit and undressed her baby sister - including removing her full nappy, with predictable results...!

my dc would put their coat on the floor & put their arms in/flip it over. Their childminder taught them this. I also think some kids are more into it. DC2 was doing shoes, trousers & socks at 2 whereas DC1 still struggled with socks at 5

When DD was a baby I talked through most things we were doing (only her and I in the house so I relished the chance of having someone to talk to I think ) I think that may have set her up for dressing herself but also, she just has always been interested in clothes. From the point she could crawl she was pulling washing off the airer etc.

She now dresses herself some mornings before I'm even out of bed but this has its downsides because firstly, I'd rather she waited until after breakfast to get dressed (inevitable weetabix/porridge on fresh clothes otherwise!) and secondly, her sense of style is not aligned with mine and some of the outfits she creates are

I think you shouldn't worry about it too much as you've still got a bit of time, but maybe make a game of it. Have a getting dressed race, that sort of thing.

@Babdoc whoops! Bet that was fun! At least you have a little helper in training. I’ll try the doll idea, she loves arranging and posing things, so something she can control might work and help her to understand.

@Caterina99 she can do knickers and trousers after the loo, but she prefers not to and will always see if she can convince someone to do it for her. She’s the same with shoes, perfectly capable of getting them off (and on depending on the shoe) and has been for well over a year, but will always ask someone else to do it if there’s someone she knows will give in (DH, DMIL, DDad...) I don’t really mind her trying it on a bit as she doesn’t make a fuss and will do it herself if I calmly repeat the instruction a couple of times.

@Aroundtheworldin80moves honestly she’d happily stay in her pjs all day. She doesn’t object to me getting her dressed, but it’s not something that she would care if we didn’t do it. I know this is true because if DH isn’t given a time limit by when to get her dressed if I’m out it just doesn’t happen!

@forrestgreen this sounds eminently sensible, but how do you tops by this method? Just put top face down on the floor while they are sitting? Sorry, feel a bit clueless about this!

@mizzles I did try this, but she’s surprisingly unfussed about dressing up. I think the only thing that would bring her round would be a giant dinosaur costume, but that probably wouldn’t bear much resemblance to normal clothes

@Woodlandtrain you’ve guessed it, she’s very chilled, always has been. She makes people laugh at groups/activities because when the other children are running around bouncing off walls she just gently meanders around, singing....

Yep. T-shirt's on the bed face down and they have to wriggle in like a caterpillar. Choose short sleeve first