Newborn won’t sleep on their own at night

[Bibby26]

My 11 day old baby has refused to sleep on her own since coming out of hospital. She will sleep in her Moses basket absolutely fine during the day so I know she can do it.

My night time routine is currently nappy change to wake her if she has been sleeping so I can feed her (on a meal plan due to weight loss) then settle her back to sleep upstairs and put her in the Moses basket. About 10minutes later she will start crying and the only thing she wants is to sleep with me.

I don’t particularly want to co sleep with her as I’m recovering from a c section so I can’t be in the proper co sleeping position which worries me. Does anyone have any tips to get her to sleep on her own? Or maybe some insight as to why she doesn’t want to do it just at night?

It’s perfectly normal at that age to want to just be with you so you might find it takes a long time to settle her off you. A few things that might help:

• testing her arm for sleepiness before putting her down. If you pick it up and it’s all floppy she is sleepy enough you may get away with putting her down. If there is resistance wait a little longer and try again
• Stroking their face, body, arm, legs until they don’t twitch or respond really helped us as it calmed his startle reflex when putting down

-warming the moses basket with a hot water bottle before putting her in -placing something in that smells of you. Be sure to remove it just before she goes in so there is no risk -white noise which you can download apps for or use Ewan the Sheep

We found the moses basket was great day time but he would wake at night as when his startle reflex went his arms touched the sides waking him. For us a next to me crib was much better and switching gro bags to blankets as he would flick gro bags under his feet restricting his legs. Worth watching what she does to see if she is touching anything or waking herself. Some nights it took multiple attempts to work and some days it was easier than others but it’s worth persevering as after a few months it did become a little easier

Our baby is 5 weeks and has refused to sleep alone since day one. I agree with most of EatCakeBeMerry's advice, though our DD hates the next-to-me crib as she can't touch the sides and think she feels a bit lost in it. We wrap DD up like a burrito in a blanket (not as tight as swaddling), and hold her until she's asleep (usually wait 15-20 mins until she's deeply asleep) then transfer her to the cot/moses basket. Sometimes we have to do this a few times until she settles but she will eventually settle.

She needs to be close to you, that is what tiny babies need.

My first was like this and white noise helped a lot also swaddling

Have a quick look on the internet about 4th trimester.

I had two c-sections. Both of mine slept fine in the buggy or on the floor during the day, but needed to be cuddled to sleep at night. I'd feed them, burp them, then cuddle them until they fell asleep then transferred carefully (swaddled and snug and warm) into a cradle.

FYI both of them were sleeping through the night, 7-7, 12 solid hours without waking, by 6 months (first baby) and 8 months (second baby).

Now, years later, I yearn for those newborn days. So precious. At the time I was so fed up of being constantly attached to a baby.

It can be tough, no doubt about it.

Side car cot- helped me to cosleep after a section

I’m happy and know she needs to be close to me but I’m just worried because I cannot physically do it safely right now. I’m sure she’d be happy with DH doing it but he’s such a heavy sleep I just don’t trust him to wake if she cries.

Some great tips thank you so much! I may try and find some alternative white noise. We have a Ewan the sheep but she doesn’t seem to care for it 🙈 will definitely try swaddling/burrito blanket and waiting until she is in a deep sleep!

She was in a next to me crib but really wouldn’t settle in it, I might try again as it’s more like co sleeping but heat it first and put something in that smells like me before putting her in

I make sure the fitted sheet and gro-bag smells of me, I also found a ext to me crib to be amazing.

DD wouldn’t sleep anywhere but on me or DH at that age. What DH and I did was take it in turns to stay up holding her whilst she slept. For example, I would sleep from 8pm-1am and DH would stay up with DD, then DH would wake me up and we’d swap. That way we both got 5 hours of solid sleep.

It’s very normal for such a young baby to want to be held whilst they sleep. It’s knackering but doesn’t last forever! DD is now almost one and goes down in her cot with no fuss and sleeps 11/12 hours.

Oh, and swaddling helped too!

It's so tough but unfortunately normal and they do grow out of it quickly. Do you have other children or can you sleep during the day while she sleeps in her moses basket?

Both of mine were like this. It's normal but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with.

The only way any of us could get any sleep in the early days was to co-sleep. We made it as safe as possible - it might not have been perfect but to us that was preferable to risking falling asleep whilst holding a baby.

Gradually, both of mine have been willing/able to go from sleeping right next to me, to a few inches away, to in the bedside crib with an arm around them or hand on chest, to in the crib on their own.

Keep trying different things - my DD is 4 weeks old and swaddling works well for her but my DS never liked it. Also don't be afraid of going "backwards" - you may get them in the crib one night but have to co-sleep the next - just keep plugging away at it.