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Parenting

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Original poster

So how bad would it REALLY be.........??????????????????????????

39 replies

hidingidentity · 07/09/2007 20:02

if I was away from DD for 6 weeks when she was 15 months old?
Would I scar her for life?
(have changed name here for obvious reasons!)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

emkana · 07/09/2007 20:39

But why couldn't your dd be with you in this situation?

KTeePee · 07/09/2007 20:41

is there no way you could take your dd with you and find a babysitter locally to mind her on the times you need to see your doctor?

KTeePee · 07/09/2007 20:42

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Budababe · 07/09/2007 20:45

Why can't you take DD?

Original poster

hidingidentity · 07/09/2007 20:51

Very long journey, friends there don't have children, so no facilities (plus feel it's a bit of a cheek to ask them to put up with lively 15 month child!), friends work full time, so would have childcare issues when I have treatment.

I'm not saying that it's not an option, that's why I'm on here, to think things through. But it would be very awkward from a practical point of view. I have thought to do one cycle, and if necessary fly back for a second, rather that doing the whole thing in one go. Of course, that's twice as expensive and involves twice the travel. But it could be worth it, if DD or I would be that stressed out about it.

OP posts:

ThursdayNext · 07/09/2007 20:54

I don't think it would be so bad for her, unsettling yes, but not a tragedy.
I'm really not sure you would find it that relaxing going away without her for that length of time though.

If you really think it's the best plan, Oranges suggestion about making sure DD builds up the time she spends with your mum are useful. And could DH also take some annual leave from work so that he could look after her at home for a bit?

oranges · 07/09/2007 20:55

You don't need that many facilities for a 15 month old - just a travel cot for her to sleep in.

Original poster

hidingidentity · 07/09/2007 21:35

Um, it really will be very difficult. You can trust me that I'm not exaggerating to get away from DD.
Friends live in open plan house with basement doors left open (access for cat), no way of preventing access to kitchen, cat has no experience of small children, low glass coffee tables etc etc. And they have never had small children visit. On top of the fact that me visiting would be a social thing, DD visiting would be like a cross between a hotel and a nursery. I'm not sure I can ask them. If they had children themselves, I think it would be different...
Serious question: would I only need a travel cot? No pushchair, highchair, safety equipment?

OP posts:

kindersurprise · 07/09/2007 22:21

Presumably you are staying with friends to minimize costs, but how about staying a week or two with your friends then a week or so with DD and Granny in a selfcatering flat, or caravan park?

You can often get a week in a caravan reasonably priced and some of them have good facilities for children, swimming pool, playarea etc.

I think that 6 weeks is a long time for a child of 15mths but I am sure that she will not be damaged by it. You would probably suffer more.

Good luck, whatever you decide.

KTNoo · 07/09/2007 22:50

Haven't read the whole thread, but instinctive reaction is that it would be worse for you than for her. Maybe because you know why you're doing it that might make it easier. In the grand scheme of things you would all be fine imo.

I know it's not the same but my dh has been away for 6 weeks working and dd2 (18 months) still says "dada?" when someone comes to the front door. He's coming back next week so I can update you on her reaction to him!

oranges · 08/09/2007 07:42

Okay, I see your situation. Given that dd would be fine, and you have friends to stay with, I think you should go, but look at coming back at the halfway point if you are up to it physically and financially.
It sounds as if you have a large, loving family, so she won't be starved of affection while you are away. Good luck.

glitterchick · 08/09/2007 18:37

If you were heading around the world on a hol I would be tut tutting. If you have a good reason to leave your child for that length of time then go for it.

imaginaryfriend · 08/09/2007 18:50

I don't know about 'scarring' but I know that when my dd was 15 months old her attachment to me was at its strongest. I think it would have been confusing and upsetting for her if I'd been away for 6 weeks. She was very verbal but never really spoke to me on the phone at that age. My friend went away from her dd for 2 weeks when she was 18 months old and her dd was very angry with her when she returned. My friend thinks her relationship with her dd has never been the same since then (her dd's 2 now) but it looks ok to me.

Wouldn't you be able to see her at all during the 6 weeks?

dramaqueen · 08/09/2007 19:11

Could your dh come out there for the middle 2 weeks and you both have a cheap holiday?

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