Breastfeeding

[Wickedesque]

How do I get my 13 month old to stop breastfeeding? She wakes three times at least looking to be fed. I have all the bad habits, feed to sleep etc. She also bfs lots during the day. We have no routine. She point blank refused a bottle. She will drink minimal cows milk from a cup.

Cut back on one feed and then wait until your breasts are no longer uncomfortably full before cutting out another feed at a different time of day. Try to ensure that the remaining breastfeeds are spaced out across the day. When you are down to two breastfeeds a day you are good to stop completely. this should wean your dc in around 2-3 weeks.
Do you have a dh/dp? if so, try and get them to comfort/settle your dc at night, rather than you, so that they don't have the opportunity to feed.
goats milk might be worth a try? its supposed to be closer to the taste of breastmilk so your dc may drink more of it

Cut down a feed at a time. Offer water at night when they wake up. If you have a partner have them tend to them at times. Don’t give in!

Would night Weaning help you have some space?

Don’t assume that just because you stop bf she will starting sleeping through the night. My first child was ff and stopped having night feeds at 13 months but didn’t start sleeping through to 2.5 yrs and even know at nearly 4 yrs it’s not guaranteed.

Very good point Selfsettling. My DS didn’t start sleeping through until he was almost 5...

Thank you for all your replies. It is more about getting some time to myself I am exhausted from it. I also have a 2 yr old and am busy with him as well so its more to provide structure to the day.

If you do want to stop completely, I think you need to think of how you will get her to sleep and settle her first. If you do want to stop, I’d call one of the BFing Helplines who will help you come up with a plan. The risk of going cold turkey would be Mastitis for you and upset of her.

Feeding to sleep isn’t a bad habit, in fact it’s a bit of a superpower. Right now you can feed her and get her to sleep.

Do you have a partner? If so, could they put her to bed in the evening for a few nights? You may need to go out of the house whilst he does this.

12 to 15 months can be pretty intense too with Breastfeeding and some toddlers will go back to almost feeding like newborns. It will pass. She’ll get more independent and move away from you more. Have a read of this on Kellymom

Some other things that may help are:

Choosing one chair where you feed her, then not sitting in it, unless you are feeding her.
Offering a nice drink instead, maybe diluted fresh juice or a hot chocloate.
Wear clothes in the day that make BFing pretty inaccessible.
Get DH to take her out at on his days off. Things like swimming or the park and the library. Make sure she has something to eat and drink whilst they are out, so she gets used to not having to rely on you to sate her hunger all of the time.
Don’t offer, don’t refuse. This one worked fairly well for me. So if she is asking fir it, you do feed her, but you don’t offer it to her at any other time.
If she’s not already, put her in her own room. My DD woke fir a feed much, much less after we moved her.
Get DH to read 12 alternatives for the all night nurser

These tips should help where you stop BFing completely as it is a gradual process or you just cut down dramatically.

Milkies in the morning might help her through this too

Thank yoi for those resources Jilted John's Julie.

We stopped at 16 months.

I watched DD closely and as soon as she stopped taking milk I would say "all done", move on and distract her. She wasn't happy at first but honestly it cut feeds down to 3 or 4 minutes instead of arsing around for 20. I also offered 1 breast instead of both.

Sorry, meant to say that within 2 weeks she stopped looking for feeds because I think it was the comfort sucking she was after.

I totally get the need for sleep and space.

Oh and don’t sorry about her not taking cow’s milk yet. Both of mine had a clear 2 week break between stopping BFing and accepting cow’s milk. Both still drink gallons of cow’s milk now.

If you are still feeding her, she will be getting enough protein fat and calcium so don’t worry about it yet. You could always offer some foods high in calcium like broccoli , hummus, tinned sardines on toast, cheese on toast or natural yoghurt for the calcium.