What does your child call your brother/sister's partner/boyfriend/girlfriend?

[amber1995]

Hello, first post here, suspect it won't be my last!

I've just started my maternity leave with my first baby, so not long to go now, but there's been a relatively minor thing that's been at the back of my mind for a while.

Obviously my brother will be my daughter's uncle, but I'm not sure what his girlfriend will/should be. They've been together nearly two years and recently bought a house together, so it's definitely serious, but they aren't married (yet).

Do you children call the unmarried partners of your siblings auntie and uncle, or do you just reserve that for married partners? It was never an issue for me growing up, my parents were both the youngest siblings and all my aunties and uncles were already married when I was born.

I definitely think she wants to be a part of the baby's life (like take on like an auntie role), my mam mentioned that it has been her sorting out my baby shower presents off them both and they (she) got us a lovely little outfit for the bump for Christmas.

I guess I just want to know what is the 'standard' circumstance to give the title of auntie. Is it after they've been together for a certain amount of time? Is it when they live together (which they have for 9 months now)? Or would anyone draw that line at when they actually get married.

We have actual aunties and uncles but I also tend to use the title with close friends too - on that basis, I would call her Auntie.

Uncle and aunty. Where I come from it's quite normal to call lots of adults you aren't actually related to by these names; it marks people out as more special than acquaintances and seems a bit more respectful than first names only.

If it’s serious then I would use Aunty.

My SIL started sending me Auntie cards from her baby when I married DH. I felt quite offended that I was only considered worthy of the title after our marriage. I'd been a big part of their lives since the baby was born. It's worth thinking about the awkwardness of suddenly changing the title. Why shouldn't she be an auntie now if she wants to and she's doing all the work of it - showers / gifts etc.

We use Aunty & Uncle if it’s a serious relationship, or just their first name if it’s casual. Living together and been together 2 years I’d call them Aunty.

Depends on the relationship really. My sisters ex was known as uncy x (youngest couldn't say uncle and it stuck) but they'd been together years. Her new bf is still known just by x but it seems pretty serious so if they start calling him uncle we'll run with it.

That said although they know my siblings are their aunts/uncles they tend to use the same nicknames for them as the rest of the family does

I would, sounds as though they are serious and she is interested in filling the role. After all they may never get married.

In my family everyone is referred to by name except grandparents and parents. In DH's family everyone is referred to as 'Auntie' and 'Uncle' even if they are just friends. Our sons just adapt to whoever they are with (so my brother's gf will just be 'Lucy' for example but BIL's gf will be 'Auntie Emily'). So depends on the rest of the family I'd say.

Dd's uncle's long term partner is auntie (my SiL).
Her uncle on her dad's side has been in two long term relationships resulting in a child with each woman. When she was small, it was Auntie A. When that relationship ended, her uncle began a new relationship and the new partner wanted to be called Auntie B (putting her on par with Auntie A) but DD was old enough to make up her own mind and just called her B (who wasn't impressed). Dh has been NC with BiL and B a few years now so it's hardly here or there to DD.
DD also has an honorary uncle and two honorary "cousins" through her dad's lifelong bff. Again, her "uncle"'s exW was "Auntie" but she's no longer in DD's life. Her uncle's fiancee is just known by her first name, no Auntie, and the fiancee is fine with it. The "cousins" live with their dad most of the time.

We went for Auntie.

My brother and his partner split 5 years later - of course could have happened if married. We still see her, Dds gradually started just using her name. I wouldn't have minded if they still called her Auntie.

My dcs just call them all by their first name apart from Grandma and Grandad, although they know X is their aunt etc

My niece and nephew were born before DH and I got married. MIL used to shoot anyone death stares if they referred to me as Auntie Tiramisu. It was quite hurtful, especially when she would refer to us as Uncle DH and Tiramisu. As it happens, they now call DH and their other aunt by their first names too.

Now I have my own DC, I refer to my sister's partner as Uncle X. I can't see them getting married, but he is part of our family.

I'd drop it into conversation with her at some point and see how she reacts to being called Auntie and go from there

Thanks everyone, definitely think it makes sense.

I'd just go with what the usual is for your family. In my family everyone just goes by their first name, in DHs family it's all "auntie this" and "uncle that".

Having said that, Personally I hate it when DHs nephew is told to call me "auntie Willheldiva". So maybe start out with the family usual and if she wants to change it she can tell you.

Didn't realise it was controversial, i just introduce every adult friend or whoever as auntie or uncle, whether they're related or not

I would use auntie, its obviously a serious relationship and shes a big part of your family, helping to organise baby shower and it would be awkward to change to auntie later on, after marriage for example. Some people use auntie for close friends too so i think its appropriate to call her auntie.

My grandchildren call some auntie or uncle and some by their name /nickname.
They seem to have decided on who by themselves.

DS just calls my brother by his name, not Uncle and his fiancée is called by her name. I still call all my parents’ friends uncle and auntie even though they aren’t and my parents are called the same by their friends’ children - we’re all in our 40s now but it hasn’t changed!

Deffo Aunty & Uncle. I’m not married to my OH but I’m Aunty to his siblings kids. I’m an only child, so doesn’t apply the other way round but if it did, my OH would 100% be uncle. It’s 2020, many couples aren’t married 🤷🏼‍♀️ I call all my OH family in laws. So sister in law, brother in law etc..

My best friend is also Aunty to my DD and my cousin who I’m very close too is also Aunty!

We don’t use aunt or uncle. Ours have always just used first names for everyone apart for parents and grandparents.