Breastfeeding help

[Laylor]

Someone please reassure me.

My baby is two weeks old and breastfeeding has been tough from day 1. He had a tongue tie but has never had a problem latching on, he just seems to breastfeed for ages like hours. I ended up expressing my colostrum while in hospital (in for 6 days) and was being referred for tongue tie. NHS waiting list was 6 weeks so went private and had it done yesterday.

Since then I dont feel like anything has changed. He still feeds for hours. Took me 2 hours to settle him which made me grab some formula and slept for nearly 4 hours
Woke up had some boob and nearly 2 hours later I'm struggling to settle him again. As soon as I put him down he wakes up.

I'm 90% sure I'm going to give this up and go back to formula I just cant help but feel guilty that I've put him through this procedure for me to give up.

Hes had colostrum so had the best start in life!

Please give me advice. X

With breastfeeding, it's not just about feeding it's about comfort.

I remember making the decision to combi feed when baby was around 14 days old. Baby would have a bottle last feed at night and would bf on waking in the night to help keep my supply up.

Have you tried a tommee tippee breast like soother? This saved me when all baby wanted was to be on me for hours, not feeding but just latched for comfort.

As long as you and baby are happy that's all that matters. If you decide to stop bf, don't feel guilty. A fed baby is a happy baby. .
You are doing an excellent job.

The tongue tie isn't always an instant fix...it took my daughter a few days to improve. If you want to give up, then that's absolutely fine! The baby won't know or remember the procedure. You have done so well so far!!!

But if you want to carry on, then take it hour by hour and go to a breastfeeding group with a lactation consultant.

Cluster (fuck) feeding is the worst though.

Hi, please see my last post (combination feeding) as there is a good response there. My daughter didn't have problems latching on, but I do understand the need for constant feeding. 2 hours between is good! Between about 10pm and 1am I feed non-stop as it never seems to completely settle her. Then it's every 2 or 3 hours until morning.

It's very early days, and I was on the verge of giving up after 1/2 weeks because it seems relentless, but people keep reassuring me that it will get better and I'm taking every night as it comes in the hope that it will.

My midwife told me that at this stage your body produces a hormone that makes your breasts produce more milk at night, which could be why baby is trying to cram in as much as possible. But in a few weeks this reduces and your breasts produce milk based on baby's demand instead so it may improve things at night then. Good luck!!

Firstly you are doing a great job. It's hard and exhausting and such early days for everything. You are both adjusting to this new world together.

My friend had to have the tongue tie cut twice as it healed over but sounds more like he is still learning. It can take come time like pp said.

Give it some time and be kind to yourself.

Well done you're doing a great job. It's really tough isn't it!?

Both of mine had a bad tongue tie and both were snipped by day 5. DS1was very unsettled (later diagnosed with silent reflux) and I gave up bf after a week. So he was formula fed. DS2 is 8 weeks now and although a happier baby generally it hasn't been easy. I would say his latch has only got 'good' in the last week or so. Although he still slips off it isn't as frequent, and the pain/discomfort has only just settled down. I got his latch checked and apparently it's fine. It takes them a while to relearn after they have their tt cut, its like starting again. And they do want to be feeding a lot at two weeks to get your milk established.

Could you express and give him a bottle, we do it once a day now and he seems to pass out from the sheer volume of milk in one quick go. Or just mix feed and not stop completely. Might give you a rest? Someone told me never quit on a bad day so I'm going with that. Are there any breastfeeding support groups near you? I found them very helpful in the first month. Ultimately though you have to do what's right for you!!

Sounds totally normal. My DD also used to feed for hours - when she was tiny she was usually on and off from 5pm to 8pm when my husband took over with a bottle so I could get a couple of hours sleep. On the really hot days over summer she was on and off literally all day long (think I watched about 3 films on the trot one day 😂), and I remember one awful night where she just kept going from midnight to 5am. It's all baby building your supply and it does get easier. Just settle in with remote, phone, drinks and snacks within reach and enjoy a good Netflix binge

As for him waking up when you put him down, he just wants to be close to you. Wouldn't you if that was all you'd known for 9 months before being catapulted into a big, bright, noisy world? Look up the fourth trimester. This also gets easier, although my DD did become clingier again at the 4mo sleep regression - there'll always be ups and downs.

You're doing great, just stick with it and forget about doing anything much apart from snuggling that baby for a while! It feels neverending at the time but DD is only 9mo now and it feels like a distant memory already. Obviously we have different challenges now, but it all changes so fast.

It took about six weeks for feeding to get comfortable for me. It does get better but it’s not an instant fix.

If he’s waking when you put him down I’d hold him or cosleep for a few hours.

If you want to change to formula that’s fine. I felt it was worth pushing on (because I’m lazy and didn’t want to have to sort bottles in the night). If you want to continue there is help. You should still be seeing the midwife, your health visitor can refer you for help and breastfeeding groups are fantastic (I cried at my first session at one).

Oh and get someone else to hold baby for a couple of hours while you have a quick shower and sleep. It all feels so much more manageable once you feel human again.

Thanks everyone for your replies. I'm currently sat here in tears with a bottle of formula. I'm pretty sure I will move on to formula, the last 14 days have been so hard and all I want to do is enjoy my baby. I've seen the breast feeding team daily since birth and they said his latch is fine. Its just the long hours. Some days he is so unsettled it breaks my heart. X

It will take time- he's had to work harder to extract milk and now needs to relearn how to suck and strengthen his muscles

It's also very normal that newborns don't want to be put down- have a read up on the 4th trimester

The first few weeks of breast feeding are really tough. At 2 weeks old your babies belly isn’t much bigger than a marble and breast milk is easily digested so it’s pretty much a case of what goes in comes almost straight out leaving them hungry and on top of that they suckle for comfort. It took my baby about a month to get better at feeding after his tongue tie too. I was told his latch was fine but the actual problem was that he kept pushing my nipple forward after the initial latch and sucking it like a bottle or nipple shield. As he got bigger and stronger and had more practice it became easier. He had very long feeds in the few weeks after the procedure as he was still using his jaw more than he should which was making him tired. There is nothing wrong with combo feeding or switching completely to formula and that’s a choice for you to make but rest assured if you do want to continue your baby is doing exactly what they should be. Your supply will establish around 6 weeks and you will go through phases of cluster feeding but as your baby gets stronger and grows rapidly they become more efficient at feeding

Also they don’t like being put down in general so it’s nothing you are doing! Some babies find swaddling or being put in a sling helps. I found putting my baby in a vibrating chair when I showered etc helped.

Congratulations on your new baby! I have a 7 week old ds myself as well as a 2 year old. I am ebf my new baby and ds1 was FF. Having experience of both, I have personally found breastfeeding much more of a challenge physically and mentally. My baby still feeds a lot, some days constantly and some days more than others. Still cluster feeds in the evenings but now passes out around 9pm rather than 2am. It's still hard but as time goes on I'd say there are more "good days" rather than the absolute constant endless struggle of the first few weeks, for me anyway. I've also just surrendered to it, gone through all the stages of grief and landed happily at acceptance, which makes things so much easier. Do what keeps you sane. A few times in the first couple of weeks I tolerated the evening cluster feeding for oh I dunno, 6 hours, then gave a couple of ounces of expressed milk in a bottle just to wrap things up quicker (oh no she didn't), oh yes I did, just so I could get to sleep on the good side of midnight. It didn't affect my supply but that may not be the case for everyone. Now I don't feel the need to do this as he goes down earlier. Just do you, don't judge yourself!

Thanks again everyone. I've swapped to formula and hes much happier, I'm much happier and DH is much happier. I'm still gutted but I know it was the right decision for us. My boobs are starting to fill up and I'm aching to give him some breastmilk. The bind is just so magical. How long will it take for my milk to dry up. X

If you want to (and it's obviously totally up to you) you can breastfeed just whenever you feel full, it'll still dry up just taking slightly longer. How long depends on how much milk you're producing I would guess, it's generally not recommended to go cold turkey because of mastitis but you'll probably be okay at two weeks.

It took me about a week. It killed. If you can lay in a warm bath or stand in the shower and let them drain.

Can you express and feed him the breast milk but via a bottle?

it's generally not recommended to go cold turkey because of mastitis

This - make sure you express to comfort (as PP said you could use the expressed milk in a bottle). Keep checking for any hard areas/lumps and massage these as you express; mastitis is just the worst and had me in A&E when DD was about 2 weeks old. Glad you're all feeling happier though

Yes. Oh my god mastitis. I had a breast abcess that was close to bursting through the skin (,long misdiagnosed story) it meant I needed emergency surgery and DAILY packing changes for around 7weeks. It was excruciating.
Please don't stop cold turkey. Drop a feed every few days. Be aware of any lumps and go to the GP at the first sign.

Glad you are all more settled bottle feeding though. .may
ybe try expressing if you can.