Cost of having a baby?

[Wannabemummy25]

Very new here so sorry if this is in the wrong topic, however I'm just wondering if anyone can give me an indication of how much babies cost? I appreciate it is probably a how long is a piece of string but apart from nappies and clothes, how much do the extra things cost? I've had a brief look and there are SO many things you can buy that just seem extra and unnecessary. I've seen big items like prams costing £800+, snuzpods £200+, car seats, playmats, swing chair things for newborns (saw these on mammas and papas as I didn't realise they were suitable but apparently they're for 0-6mo), changing mats, bags, sterilisers, bottles, pumps, toys, etc. Also, are things like changing table furniture necessary? I always thought it was safer to change nappies on a mat on the floor but I keep seeing these picture perfect nurseries on Instagram! Also, extra things like NCT classes, waterbabies etc!

So I'm just wondering if anyone has ever worked out how much they spent before their baby was born/in the first year?

Another question, has anyone decided on a nanny rather than nursery and I just wondered how much that was?

(Side note, I'm not pregnant but I like planning things so my questions stems from wondering how much money DH and I would have to save before having a baby!)

Babies don't have to cost that much. Clothes are cheap from supermarkets and Primark (plus first babies tend to get a ton of clothes from friends and relatives). My babies live in vests and sleepsuits until they can walk as I can't be doing with fussy outfits. So clothes are minimal. Big ticket items are your travel system or buggy and carseat. Got mine in the January sales - £350 and a free car seat. Isofix base was about £100. Also bought a lightweight buggy when DS1 was 12mo; it was about £150 and lighter/easier to lug about. Also had to buy another car seat when he got too big for his first one. I believe that was about £300. You don't need any special furniture; we got a change table we have used about twice so that was a total waste. I mainly change them on the sofa or bed using a portable change mat (you can buy 2 reusable ones for £10 on amazon). I breastfeed so no idea about formula and bottles. When you wean you can give them pretty much what you eat or if you prefer puree just mash up what you cook, no real added expense. Oh, I think our cot was about £30 plus bedding. No real big costs other than that. We did buy a bouncer chair for £35 and a sling for £25 but those are optional. Bits like towels, baby baths, muslins etc are all cheap and you may end up getting free as it's the kind of stuff people are happy to give away when their babies are grown. Toys and books tend to get given plus they don't really care about that sort of thing - under 1s are just as happy with a wooden spoon as with an expensive toy! Aldi and Lidl do good Baby Events where you can pick up odds and sods like thermometers and brushes and baby nail clippers for very little. It's childcare costs that really add up but I'm a teacher and managed to get a term time contract with a local childminder which proved cheaper than nursery.

Honestly, I spent an absolute fortune on DD. Probably well over £2500, on cot/ snuzpod/ gadgets/ silver cross pram and clothes.

All I really needed was a Moses basket, and a pack of white babygrows and muslins. As I breastfed. She barely used her pram and a cheap second hand sling would have been fine. If I had a second child I would literally only get these things!

The real cost is childcare and drop in income. Our nursery is about £47 a day. I only work 3 days a week but I’d say we’re around £700 a month worse off each month having her. But it’s not like we want to go on holiday outside of the Uk at the moment anyway, and it’s only another year till we get 15 hours free. We’re actually just a lot more sensible now and appreciate cooking at home, going for walks and just spending time together. She’s so worth the cost.

Oh and don’t bother with nursery furniture! Probably only changed a handful of nappies on a proper changing mat on top of her drawers. She was way too wriggly after about 3/4 months and floor was the only option. Plus she pooped so much I could never be bothered to go upstairs each time.

It’s as expensive as you make it, we were lucky that we had a lot given to us by family/friends and anything we bought ourselves we didn’t go for top of the range cos tbh they don’t use anything long enough to be worth spending out loads for.

I kept a tally, we spent €663 in reality on everything before the birth. DS2 is 18 months now. I have an older child but he's 10 years older, and we moved when he was 5 so we had nothing left from the baby stage from him.

I'd added up all the potential costs and it would have cost around €1-2,000 if we'd bought everything new. As it was, almost everything was second hand and we were very kindly given some things by friends/family. I made a list and numbered it so items were rated Necessity, Useful, Want This, Nice To Have. I also decided whether they were urgent (likely to need at short notice and/or within the first 2 weeks) or non-urgent (can wait and see whether we need/want this later). For everything that was Urgent, Necessity and Useful I made sure that I bought it whether it was second hand or brand new. For everything else, I bought it if I saw it second hand, if I saw an especially nice one, or if I saw a good offer on it. Otherwise I just waited - some of the stuff ended up not getting bought at all.

In ongoing costs we spend about €25 a month on nappies and I would estimate around €150 a year on clothes (Hard to say because I budget for the kids' clothes out of one pot). I still get a lot second hand. We spend about €10 a week more on food shopping. I very rarely buy toys full price - and when I do it's at birthday/Christmas times. The second car seat was expensive - we spent about €260 - and I would recommend saving your car seat budget for the second/toddler stage. You can have a fairly basic infant carrier and it will be safe, but the first seat doesn't last very long, the cheaper models of toddler seat are pretty awful safety wise and plus the more features you want etc the cost mounts up fast.

Agreed, childcare and loss of income are the two big things. We are lucky in that childcare where we live (not UK obviously) is extremely affordable.

Swings for example once they can sit up and roll they are no good safety wise, so you literally only use them for a couple of months, maybe 4 months if you use it right from birth, so there is no sense in buying new, they are always floating around on Facebook marketplace etc.

The biggest cost is nursery/ loss of a salary. Everything else kind of pales in comparison!
We spent £900 a month on nursery for 3 full days a week, which allowed me to go back to work 3 days per week.

You'll find cheaper obviously, but a nanny will be more expensive.

Prams etc - look in shops to see which suits you then look for that model second-hand on Facebook groups, gumtree etc. Absolutely no need to spend best part of a grand on one!

We were very lucky in that parents and inlaws bought the cot and travel system (cot attachment, car seat and pram) both were less than £300, we were given a lot of hand me downs from friends and family as I am the last of my friends to have a baby and my son is the 7th great grandchild.

We bought a starter box from amazon and his changing bag, plus a "coming home outfit" which was about £150 in total.

Nappies are about £8 a week or thereabouts, he was express fed for the first 6 months (manual pump was £24) so we bought bottles, 8 on rotation, about £40. He now has powder formula, cow and gate two is 2 tubs for £13 in Tesco and I get through them every 2 and a half weeks. Bottles just go through the dishwasher.

Nursery is the biggest expense, one day a week for £53, I know some places are more expensive.

I'd say he's about £70/80 a week, much less if we didn't do the nursery day.

In all honesty, the dog was been more expensive with emergency appointments and a hip operation in the first 6 months.

Cost of actual baby stuff - totally negligible.

Firstly you actually NEED next to nothing, and what you do need people are often lining up to get rid of because their kids grew and it is cluttering up their house.

The things I actually needed were - clothes (mostly from charity shops as the ones local to me charge about 20p per item for baby clothes, they are inundated with baby clothes and it’s often really good stuff). Nappies - one off cost, as I used reusable nappies and regular flannels for wipes. Car seat - essential but i got a birth-4 one so it could stay in the car. Carrier - we only used a sling/carrier and didn’t use a pram. Cot - was given to us by in laws but it was just an ikea one. Total outlay on baby stuff was about £350 in total and a large chunk of that was the car seat.

The actual cost of a baby is 100x that amount per year because of loss of salary and childcare, that’s the bit you have to budget for, nothing to do with stuff or classes.

It’s one of those how longs a bit of string questions.

We (counting family gifts) spent a fair penny on ds.. but it’s all getting reused (besides the pram). He lay amazingly still and calm on the changing table till 9 months so it was worth it to keep all his bits neat and save my back during the explosive days. Never bought nursery furniture besides a cot bed but that’s because we had drawers and a wardrobe in the guest room. His baby swing was great when he went through a “I must be in motion to nap” phase when he was small.. yes I could’ve trailed the streets with the pram like a mad woman but that’s not always practical in the pouring rain, it also gave him a space off of the floor (3 dogs) that wasn’t a bed. Ewan the sheep of wonders still works at nearly a year.. he shall get his own little pedestal when he retires. Sterilising we use a tub and Milton.. Tesco’s tablets last nearly 2 months and cost 75p, bottles were our personal nightmare as he really struggled with latching so I’ve pretty much had every bottle (wouldn’t latch to me either which is obviously the free option). We had a nest pod thing cheapie from Aldi.. it was handy as he was a teeny dot in the pram so it kept him where I could see him and not slowly sliding into the abyss.. but if you had a big sturdy baby it’d be pointless. Playmat we got free in the baby box.. hated tummy time so tis a glorified rug. And his car seats a midrange birth to out style thing but it means I’ll only ever need to learn how to work one.. and I’ll never need to buy another for each stage.

Prams, cots and all the big bits can come second hand for peanuts. The only thing you can’t reuse apparently are mattresses and teats as far as I’m aware.. car seats if you don’t know their history too but friends or family might have one that’d be fine.

The only new things you need are a cot mattress and a car seat. You can easily get both for under £200.

Everything else can be got second hand in great condition, and all you really need is:
Cot (not strictly essential, cos I guess they could sleep in your bed or on a mattress on the floor when a bit bigger, but recommended)
Pram or buggy
Some means of feeding - breastfeeding costs nothing, formula feeding you'll need bottles, steriliser and formula
Some means of dealing with output - reusable nappies are good if you can afford the upfront cost, otherwise disposables

You'll likely get loads of clothes as presents - keep tags on where possible and you can exchange newborn size for bigger sizes - newborns you can probably get by on a ten-pack of babygrows.

Likewise for toys, you'll probably be given loads.

Don't bother with swings, bouncers etc unless you're given them.

I'd say we spent well under £300 on DS, and then about £50 on DD.

Do your research before baby is born, but don't buy things. Then if you're 3 weeks in and you think"a bouncy chair would be handy", you can order one.

Don't be scared of second-hand stuff, your baby won't have a clue. So many things are only used for a few months and can be bought second hand for half the price and in perfect condition. Especially toys for the first few years - I trawled Facebook marketplace for Duplo, Happy land, train tracks etc and got some great bargains. My 5 year old is only now realising that new toys come in boxes! He couldn't care less if Santa brings all second-hand stuff.

There have been quite a few threads like this in the past - you can probably find them if you search for them.

The bottom line is that you can spend what you want to spend. The biggest cost will definitely be maternity leave, most of the money we saved funded 12 months off work for me (even though my employer has quite a generous package and only 6 months of that was unpaid). I paid myself a 'salary' out of our savings and the classes etc came out of that (don't forget a substantial coffee and cake budget too, plus an allowance for 'the baby is bored inside the house so we're having a wander around the shops' spending).

I think that we budgeted about £3k for baby stuff but did not spend all of that - the biggest cost was the pram and he hated it when he was tiny, I could have got away with using the sling then an umbrella stroller. I personally loved my changing table until he could sit up, and then started changing him on the floor. But it cost £10 second hand and I still use it to store all his nappies in.

Yes good point - it is important to budget some "Mummy's going to go insane without coffee and company" money for maternity leave/if you decide to take longer off work. Sometimes SAHM is considered a cheaper option but realistically you've got to protect your mental health and treat it as a job in some ways as well - take the baby swimming and to some paid activities and "expense" it, just like a nanny would, unless you're completely stretched. And factor this into costs when comparing SAHP/nursery/childminder decision.

Also in the name of equality, have a discussion with your partner that actively considers him being the one to take parental leave, and/or drop his job down to part-time after parental leave ends and/or being a stay at home dad, and/or being the one to take sick days, school holidays and so on with the child, and/or considering the effect on the family of things like work travel and working late. Often it's thought of as a given that the mother will make these kinds of changes in her work and the father will carry on as before. Even if you decide that way around makes perfect sense, it's still worth discussing the hypothetical scenario where the mother carries on as before and the father drops hours/asks for flexi-time/takes the bulk of time off etc. Just a useful thought experiment.

You are right, it is a 'how long is a piece of string' question.

If you have to, you can cope without spending hardly anything.
If you are some kind of multi-millionaire, then there will be people ready and willing to take your money off you.

What you will find is that there is a HUGE market in 2nd hand stuff, when people realise it was a bit of a mistake to spend hundreds of £££ on all sorts of equipment that only lasts a few months, or that doesn't suit their baby or their lifestyle, or doesn't fit in their car boot, or whatever.

You also get things passed down to you. You also get people buy you gifts.

Your biggest cost is either loss of one salary, or paying for childcare. Most of the rest is fairly optional.

For the first year they really dont need much besides somewhere to sleep, a pushchair or sling, some nappies/wipes (look into reusable which save in the long run), a changing mat and a car seat. You definitely dont need a pram that costs £1000 or any special furniture besides a cot and/or crib.
Almost everything can be bought second hand for a fraction of the new price. Only exception would be a car seat and any sort of mattress.
As they get older you would want to get a high chair, cups, bowls etc. and toys, although look into if there is a toy library near you - or local one is fantastic! There are also sling libraries and nappy libraries as well as the obvious book library!

A few hundred grand so far by my reckoning, but he’s still under a year old.

Lost income
New (bigger, family) house
Lost potential income
And the proportionally tiny amount we spent on actual baby stuff

I would recommend saving your car seat budget for the second/toddler stage. You can have a fairly basic infant carrier and it will be safe, but the first seat doesn't last very long
This is a good point. DD was only in her baby car seat for about 5 months. It was perfectly safe but she just didnt find it comfortable. we splashed out on a good, comfortable and highly rated ERF car seat for the next one and it has lasted 3 years so far and should do another 6 months. Much better to spend on the second and third car seats than the first, they get a lot more use.

Before ds was born I bought:
Car seat for £99 ish I think from maxi cosi outlet
A bouncer chair for £40 (has been worth it totally just a standard one not a fancy swing)
Muslins
Plain white sleepsuits & vests ( born in heatwave)
Nappies (also got a load for free off the lady I bought a co-sleeper crib off)
Co-sleep crib, next 2 me off ebay. Well worth it!
I bought a quinny pram second hand
£10 changing mat (which I just bring downstairs in morning and take up in the night)
I exclusively breastfed for six months so didn’t need bottles etc

Take advantage of amazon - if you find things you genuinely need on there and make a baby list and purchase a certain amount they give you something free depends what they’re offering - they gave me a microwave steriliser which I’ve never used but would have been useful if breastfeeding didn’t work out

I already had a little shelf for him and painted it grey, and already had a chest of drawers for his room but would have bought second hand if needed (ebay/gumtree/charity/marketplace)

Since he was born -
I’ve bought most of his clothes second hand (given that most clothes are only used for a couple months)

I bought a sleepyhead - most expensive pillow ever lol- but has been totally worth it for me. Obviously if I couldnt have afforded one I would have coped without but it helped DS sleep and therefore let me sleep and he still uses it for now...

I sold the quinny pram on and all the extras that came with it, for more than I paid and used the money to buy a mamas and papas pram (also second hand)

I’ve bought a cot bed second hand (bought mattress new but shopped around for a good deal) as he outgrew the cosleeper

I bought a car seat cosytoes from maxi cosi outlet. Not totally necessary as you can use blankets with car seat but honestly I got a good price and it’s very convenient and also safer than strapping ds in wearing a pram suit.

I love eBay and charity shops, and for the bits I need new I shopped around. Breastfeeding is much cheaper but obviously that’s a personal choice - but I didn’t have to bother sterilising, buying bottles, buying formula etc.

Oh also since the six month mark I’ve bought a highchair (new but in an offer) and some weaning spoons and bowls.

Also grobags are great as baby can’t kick them off and get cold but you can dress according to temp. £29.99 in tkmaxx, or much much cheaper second hand. I’ve bought on eBay and just wash before use.

You don't have to spend a lot, the only things I bought new were a car seat for safety reasons, and a mattress for the cot when he moved into his own room. It does all add up though, although buying second hand does save loads of money, adding it all up is quite surprising. I got a pram for £100 which was £1500 new and was in great condition, for example, and clothes from charity shops, supermarkets and marketplace. Formula can be expensive though if you do FF. Also do factor in childcare if you are planning to use it, I was quite surprised at how expensive it is!

We saved quite a bit before DS was born, but then had some problems with a house move, and the money was gone. So in the end did it super cheaply.

Before DC was born

Ex display cot - 40
Metres - 30
Second hand pram - 50
Second hand moses basket- free
ERF car seat - 60, lasted to 3 years
Ebay reusable nappies - 150 but saved lots
Clothes - used club card point (they did boost at time) and my mum gave my £50 of nectar points

After

BF and reusable nappies, so no real cost for first 6 months. Then about £20 month on fruit and veg, which I blended and froze at home.

Mostly free groups at library or sure start (I'm lucky to be near one), also paid £3 a week for baby swim (not lessons, but parents and babies only in pool) and £1.50 for another group.

As you can see, you barely need to spend anything, while on mat leave. Afterwards the child care or loss of earnings are crippling though.

I just added it up and we spent or had spent on us and DD about £3300 for:

Fancy mamas and papas pram
Fancy but excellent baby bjorn sling
2 x car seats
Nursery drawers
Glider nursing chair (love that chair)
Bedside cot
Chicco Hug moses basket come high chair thing
Free 2nd hand cot but new mattress
Travel cot
Breast pump and bottles
Changing mats x 2 (one up, one down both on chests of drawers, safe with DD even at 13 months and saves my back!!)
0-12months worth of clothes for PFB
Play mat
Jumperoo - expensive mistake 🙄
Other toys
Weaning stuff (plates, cups, spoons etc etc)
Nappies (some disposable, some cloth put initial cost up)
Baby snug seat
High chair

I spent another £650 on classes during mat leave - apparently that is the price of my sanity 😂

We could have done it a lot cheaper but we're planning 2 and got all the big ticket items gender neutral so they will be used again which in my head halves the cost of everything 😂 Many things we did get second hand are very worn now and I'm thinking 'oh I'll get that new next time when we won't have so much to buy'.

We paid for 'stuff' as we went along once pregnant but saved ahead for mat leave. That was essential, when my pay dropped away we had a pot we drew from to make up my usual contribution to the joint account and my usual spending money.

Nursery fees are a killer and long term. Here it's £950/month for 3 days a week - although you get tax free childcare which helps a lot.

The big cost is childcare and time off work.

We were fairly thrifty, buying a lot of clothes and toys 2nd hand, and just going for cheap ikea furniture which has been totally fine.

Remember you naturally cut back on other areas as you no longer go out, you're too tired to drink alcohol and too busy to have any hobbies or interests of your own

Defo the cost of nursery loss in salary the biggest issue
I'm returning to work after a year off , down to 3 days so loosing 600 quid a month in wages and luckily for us we only paying one day nursery but still thats 50 a day , so we are actually 800 worse off
I'm the happiest iv ever been though

We spent loads on our baby and bought everything new but now that baby is here and has been for a while, I'm a lot less precious and have bought toys on Facebook!

I realise now I didn't need to buy everything up front and not everything had to be new, but you live and learn.

It's the salary drop that's the killer - you really should start saving before you're even pregnant to make up for it.