Breastfeeding struggles

[mumfeb20]

What would you do?
-12 day old not gaining weight
-Developing bottle preference due to EBM top ups advised by consultant feeding plan
-Using nipple shields as wont stay latched on breast
-Awaiting tongue tie appointment

• Concern over dwindling milk supply

-Arguing with partner over continued breastfeeding -Strain on relationships/time with other children due to constant feeding/pumping

Had midwives, bf peer to peer supporter face to face help but no joy over reason for failure to latch.

Any ideas? Getting down and desperate.

To be honest with you, if its going to make your life easier, I'd give up breastfeeding and go for formula. Maybe keep one nice snuggly bedtime feed, but if BFing is making life difficult, I'd stop. Theyre only tiny once, don't waste time being miserable when you could be enjoying your new look family instead.

I completely feel your situation, I had to put a stop to it super early.

I wanted to BF but after I'd given birth, he was more 'placed' on me, than me shown how to do it. Managed to muddle through the night in hospital but the next morning, despite no medical reason, they kept saying they weren't happy to discharge me until they'd observed a feed which was completely stressful and didn't work - he wouldn't stay on for longer than a couple of minutes. They wanted to keep me in overnight again, this time on a ward without OH until I could feed. I said I'd go to the ward to access feeding support but I wanted to go home that day. I was assured I'd be shown lots of positions and have a MW to help me.
We were on the ward from lunch time until discharge at 11.30pm. Everytime I wanted help, they would come in for a minute, not help at all or by the time they came after he'd latched, he was off again. He was stressed and crying constantly and I was on the ceiling!
In the end, I was so fed up with the situation, I asked to bottle feed instead. I felt a failure at first but he'd had his colustrum and I just couldn't go home nor stay in the hospital knowing it wasn't working for us but forcing myself to keep going. He's now much happier on formula and was already his birth weight a few days after birth.

Sorry for the long story (!) just wanted to sympathise and for you to know that a fed baby and happy mum are the most important things. There isn't any point slogging on with something that upsets you or your baby as it will interfere with your bonding and you'll just grow to resent feeding times. Despite what you can be force fed by others, it just doesn't work for some babies and that's completely fine

Formula tbh. Keep pumping to see what you get, but I think women feel so much pressure to BF and then feel a failure when it doesnt happen.

Can you get a private tongue tie appointment?

I understand your need to bf. However maybe you could express and mix the formula and breast milk together. The pumping (as long as it's done regularly) will keep up your supply. That way your LO is still getting the breastmilk while also being fed. Ultimately fed is best and you will never be a failure or should feel guilty for just doing whatever you have to to make sure your LO is fed.

Similar situation - I stopped expressing for a bit and just focussed on breastfeeding. A private lactation consultant gave me special positions (the sandwich one was best) to keep baby’s latch consistent. Things improved a lot 4 weeks after the tongue tie was snipped.

I could have written this post as I am in nearly the same situation now. I was prescribed domperidone to help increase my supply, have you looked into this? I know what you mean about pumping impacting on relationships , I feel like I'm constantly looking for people to hold my baby so I can go and express which means that I'm missing out on precious time with him!

At the moment my feeding plan is:
-breast feed first for him to get practice at it after latch/tongue tie issues
-top up with ebm
-if he's still hungry top up with formula.

When my partner went back to work it became especially difficult to pump so I started using formula a lot more. I didn't like doing this initially and would stress out about it because I wanted him to only be breastfed but now am choosing to go with the flow. I will give him ebm where possible but if not formula is fine.