Messing around at bedtime

[Toomuchtooyoung01]

Absolutely being driven mad by my toddler messing around at bedtime.
Is it terrible of me, after an hour and a half of sitting with her, to close the child gate and go downstairs even though I know she will be upset and cry?
I have never let her cry it out before, and I feel horrible walking downstairs knowing she is upset and crying but honestly I am losing my patience big time right now.

I would. Toddlers tear boundaries. Sometimes just going downstairs for a minute is enough to get them to behave a bit better!

I’ve had to have some firm words with my toddler recently; I find that staying in the room with her makes it worse so I’ll often say to her I’ll come back in a minute and when I go back she’s asleep. If it’s escalated to her crying I’ll sit by her door with my phone or a book every so often shushing her or gently telling her it’s bedtime; it gives her a bit of reassurance without playing into keeping me in her room and it saves my sanity

I started enforcing a "mummy only sits with you if you lie still with eyes closed". Three strikes and I went downstairs. Usually he'd fall asleep within five minutes, because he was lying still with closed eyes and relaxed, but I have left a shrieking banshee of a toddler in his room when I've had to follow through.
I consoled myself with the thought that I was usually going downstairs to do said toddler's laundry or make a lunch for the next day, so I just couldn't lose my entire evening to sitting up with him. I was never leaving him to scream so I could sit and drink gin except that once where it was really bad

Assuming your child is no longer in a cot?

I would say do it- 3 nights or so of a decreasingly angry toddler and hopefully then a nice calm bedtime routine. 1

Does said toddler still nap? Dropping nap made such a difference to our bedtimes

How old is she? Does she still nap in the day? My son has mostly dropped his nap but some days if he’s had a busy morning I let him have an afternoon nap and he sleeps for about 2 hours. On the days he naps I always regret it because there is so much messing around at bedtime as he’s not really tired enough. On days he doesn’t nap he goes down no fuss at all.