Constant pooing in pants

[DappledThings]

Thought I'd better start by saying I am not the poo troll and as I haven't NCd that should be clear

DS is just turned 4. He has never really got pooing on the toilet. We have been round and round with rewards of chocolate and sticker charts. He went through a phase of withholding and being constipated so we had two courses of Movicol but confident that isn't it now. He goes at least once a day and it is soft but fully formed, basically textbook healthy poo, just not in the toilet.

He claims never to know he needs to go. He will be looking like he's about to go then deny it ("It is just a bubble"), sometimes he will say he needs to go but it is after he has already done it. So it's a mixture of denying when asked but then saying too late.

He gets really distressed and we are so trying to minimise that. He's never been told off for it although there have been calm consequences such as missing his favourite show so he could be taken off to be cleaned up. He is often upset that he hasn't made it to the toilet yet flat out refuses any help to get there if we can see he needs to go.

Nursery said this morning they caught him trying to wash out his pants in the toilet and crying and I felt dreadful hearing that.

I think we need some help. But where domwe go? GP? HV? Any other advice from people?

Sorry this turned into an essay. I don't know if we went wrong earlier in the whole saga but I feel like we've let him down massively.

See your GP, for possible referral to Paediatric Gastroenterologist, it sounds like your son could have a blockage and is suffering from overflow diarrhoea, your son won’t be able to control it at all. He won’t know when he needs to use the loo. So all the sticker charts in the world won’t change a thing.

I went through this with my DS, it is easily solved with medication, firstly to clear the hardened poo inside then to keep the system clear. My Son took Paediatric movicol morning and pico sulphate in the evening, problem solved. The consultant we saw, was fantastic, he said for every year of constipation is a year of medication and warned us if we stopped before that time we would quickly get back to an acute state.

Good luck I know what a worrying time this was for us.

My advice is no consequences, back right off in both reward and consequence. Treat poos is pants as if they are as boring as a sneeze.

If there is a time if day he tends to go have 10min tablet time on the loo. If nothing then say ok hop off and carry on with day. If poo in toilet same thing, very bland and bored good job and on with day.

What clarified things for me was imagining the approach I was taking to toileting as being the same as I took for food. Eg I don't spend every meal time saying are you going to eat that, what a good boy you are eating that etc. Good luck!

, it sounds like your son could have a blockage and is suffering from overflow diarrhoea
We did think that but as I say the poo is really good. Just in his pants. So soft but fully formed and a good quantity. Could that really still be a constipation issue?

milkjetmum Thank you, will think over all this.

Also blowing bubbles on loo is good as children can't hold it in and blow out at the same time!

We've gone through so many bubbles! Will bring them back again though. He enjoyed them if nothing else.