Going back to work or not going back to work

[Thebabyhaslanded]

Has anyone not gone back to work after a baby? DS is 6 months and I'm due to go back in july.

I've loved maternity leave, I'm around for dd 7, and our dog. I'm just dreading going back and not being here.

I love doing drop off and pick up, having time to do life admin and being with the children.

I'm a children's nurse and we only do 13 hour days and nights, I'm doing 3 shifts a week and even just 1 shift a week I'm dreading.

We will have to use nursery, dog care and before and after school clubs as DH works 8-5.

I just dont know what to do, can anyone help clear my head of this as I'm getting very anxious.

Thanks

You've listed all the pros of being a SAHM, I'd do the same with cons.

These will be personal to you, but remember to include pension contributions and career/ pay progression (if that's important to you) as well as your take-home salary.

Putting it all down in one place might help to clear your thinking?

I've tried that, the only thing that really worries me is my career progression and keeping up my skills

Also think about whether it's your job you're unsure about or working in general. Some people find work gives them that 'break', makes them feel respected and human and means they can then be amazing when they get home. I'm also in debates, but feel like being at home all day I don't really do much more.

My ds is 18 months and I never went back. I absolutely adore being a sahm - it's my dream come true. I understand it's not for everyone though. Listen to your gut.

I did really love my job but ds has taken years to conceive along with IVF, so the thought of him being in childcare whilst I look after other children is awful, I feel I should be making the most of him

But on the other hand I worked so hard to get my job and become a nurse

I work in health care too and reduced my hours after having my first child. I basically do the bare minimum that I feel I need to do to ensure I don’t de-skill and earn just enough to get by.

However by doing this I have kind of lost my passion and motivation. This might be because my priorities are different now we have a family but I also don’t feel like part of the team anymore because I’m not there enough. I don’t get involved in the politics which is great but also feel like I have no idea what’s going on half the time in regards to new policies/procedures/staff/equipment. I feel like I breeze in and breeze out doing my job but not really contributing if that makes sense. Honestly, I wouldn’t miss my job if I quit but I also couldn’t be a SAHM.

How important is your job to you? Do you need the money? If you feel that strongly you want to be at home I’d do it if I could. There are always back to nursing courses if you take a career break.

I'm a nurse, you work bloody hard for your pin, it'd be a shame to let it lapse.
Could you drop to 20 hours so 1 shift one week, 2 the next. Work one weekend day or night so DP can mind the children, and just scrabble some childcare 1 Day a fortnight.
You'll keep climbing your band, keep your pin and pension, and probably enjoy the work as you can focus on your patient and not the politics.
I work 22.5 hours, by the end of my 3 days (short shifts) I'm desperate to enjoy the kids, and by Monday I'm desperate to get to work the balance is just about right on 20 hours

M DS is now almost 11 and I really didn't want to go back to work at the end of maternity leave. I dropped to part time (26 hpw) and changed my pattern of hours to fit nursery and school. (I'm an academic so quite flexible). Now I'm so glad I've kept my career going: once DS was at school he wouldn't have seen any more of me if I'd been a SAHM. So maybe part time is an option?

Writing down our finances has made things no clearer at all 😩

I went back part time for a year then gave it up to peruse a home business so I'm home all the time and still make money.
I love being a sahm, it's where I want to be and where I'm needed the most!