Is this normal for almost 3 months?!

[Fivebyfive2]

Hi all! First time mum having a bit of a struggle right now and I just need some reassuring and maybe even advice /tips on how to be better?!

Ds is coming up to 12 weeks (8 weeks corrected) He is mostly breastfed, but does have bottles of formula between about 8pm to 1am (give or take an hour) so I get a bit of a break. Dh gives the bottles while I sleep, but I often get up to help settle him etc if needed. We use sma comfort and give infacol before each feed (including the breastfeeds) because he's a very windy boy!

Reason I'm posting is that we're still having many a night where he wakes every hour for a feed in the middle of the night. Plus in between he is grunting and fidgeting, to the point where I'm never sure he's even properly asleep?! Between this and him beginning to fight sleep for naps in the day, so that I need to rock him etc while he cries before conking out, I'm just so exhausted with it all ☹️

We have nights where he does 3 to 4 hours of peaceful sleep, but it's so random I can't see a pattern, so although I'd like to recreate the circumstances where this happens to try and make it a regular occurance, we cannot seem to crack it at the moment.

Is this normal or are we doing something wrong?! The daytime isn't so bad, I think because he is starting to pay more attention to things, (we get full on smiling and interaction now, it's amazing!) he gets overtired, but it doesn't take too long to soothe him. It's the night time that's doing me in, between feeding, winding and checking him when he's wriggling /grunting etc, it's impossible to get proper rest some nights and I'm also worried he isn't getting proper sleep during this time??

Sorry for the long post! Xx

Absolutely and completely normal. And necessary - increases feeding at night stimulates prolactin release which gives your milk supply the boost it needs as your baby grows.

You’re doing nothing wrong. Just relax and feed that baby:)

Any chance he could have (silent) reflux or cow milk protein intolerance (CMPI)? That sounds like my DS, small but frequent feeds, unsettled and grunting at night, never napped for more than 15 mins at a time during the day.

It all went away and he started sleeping through, napping better and feeding better when we got him on reflux meds and hypoallergenic formula at 10-12 weeks. I think being an early baby increases reflux risk as well and there's a link between having reflux and CMPI.

But I only have 1 child so nothing to compare my one experience to!

@PippinStar, I have wondered about silent reflux! I don't think he's intolerant though, only because he does have bouts of sleeping well at night (albeit rarely!) and can nap for an hour or so in the day once settled. I'd think if he had an intolerance, he'd always be unsettled?? Did you get something prescribed for reflux or over the counter? I have spoken to a hv about what's been going on, but they didn't seem too worried?! Xx

I'm not sure re being unsettled all the time with CMPI as I was combi feeding, as are you ... so I'm just not sure. Mine didn't get a whole lot of formula but when he did he screamed. Does your baby have a very red ring around his bum? That's one way that they diagnose CMPI along with a description of his behaviour.

With reflux, my DS would settle well enough when held upright on my chest. He actually slept like that til he was 8 weeks. It also helps to do lots of tummy time as lying on tummy closes the flap in the oesophagus while being on their backs keeps it open.

I did get prescription medication, first Zantac then omeprazole. He's still on omeprazole at 12 months but it hasn't felt like he has reflux since 4 months since the new meds and formula kicked in. But when we try to wean from the meds, it's clear the reflux is still there. Like you, nobody seemed to concerned about his symptoms and I had to fight to be listened to, constantly ringing doctors, seeing different doctors. Eventually travelled to see a paedetrician who immediately diagnosed him with both and we got it all sorted.

If you are concerned, try to get a second opinion from a doctor. As a pp said, it may be normal, I only have my one experience to go off of, but it there are similarities there. Hopefully it's normal baby stuff that will settle when he's out of the 4th trimester

@PippinStar, no his bum is nice and smooth/clear 🙂

I think it might just be something we need to get through really. On Friday he slept amazing, 4 hours then up feeding, being changed, winded etc for about 1.5 hours, then slept another 3! But Saturday and last night he was just constantly feeding and unsettled?! It's like he's fine if everything falls into place, but at the moment it's figuring out how that happens that we're struggling with!

Thank you for replying, everything just seems so much worse at 4am after 2 nights of no sleep!!

Absolutely - sleep deprivation is the worst. Good luck and try get some rest when you can (easier said than done)