Baby hates being held.. help

[HayLex]

First tine posting here, I hope I’ve posted in the right place.
Anyway, I have an 11 week old DD who I adore, but I wish I could say she adores me. You see, she just HATES being held. She fights to get off me, pulls herself back and stiffens her legs. She also will not tolerate sitting on my knee or in my lap for more than a minute, she then starts flinging herself back. I am so upset by this, I almost feel like I haven’t bonded with my baby properly as I can’t even cuddle her. Has anyone ever been through this? Any advice?
She does have reflux and the HV says she is wriggling all the time as she is trying to get comfortable.. but I don’t feel like it’s that, she literally NEVER wants to be held or cuddled.

Anyone?

Is her reflux treated? DS is very unhappy when his reflux isn't controlled. He writhes and cries.

She has been on Omeprazole for around 3 weeks. I have definitely seen an improvement in her crying and general temperament.. but she still hates being cuddled, held, the sling..

Have you tried cuddling her up right?

Yes, she hates anyway of being cuddled. She lets me rock her to sleep, but that’s about it, and she fights that at first.. but I have to rock her as she won’t fall asleep on her own just yet.

Will she allow anyone else to cuddle her?

Wondering if she doesn't like your perfume or something.

No, she is pretty much the same with everyone. So I know it’s not just me, but it’s still heartbreaking.

She might just grow out of it. My baby (now six months) didn't want to be held and we were amazed that the thing that would often stop her screaming was putting her down on the play mat. It's the exact opposite to our first daughter who was the clingiest baby you could imagine! Anyway, number 2 is still very happy to be alone and loves exploring by herself, but also now knows I'm mummy and wants to be comforted by me holding her. She'll also cry sometimes when I leave the room now. But shes only been doing this since about 5 and a half months old. In the last few weeks she'll sit on my lap on the sofa for a bit too. Fingers crossed your baby will accept the snuggles soon!

My DD had silent reflux/used omeprazole & also hated being held as a baby. Sounds very similar! I could count the amount of times she fell asleep on me on my hands. She hated slings & baby carriers as well! She slightly oddly for a reflux baby just wanted to sleep/lay flat on her back in either her cot/Snuz/Moses/pram or quite often, she’d fall asleep on her nappy mat!

Don’t stress. It’s just their temperament. Some babies aren’t clingy. Some babies want to be put down. I bet the mums of those who constantly have to be held feel some envy! Whereas I used to feel envious of those whose babies slept in their arms!

If if helps, my DD is now coming up 3 & still needs her own space to sleep. You cannot cuddle her to sleep, even when poorly. She needs to be in bed on her own! But she is super affectionate, cuddly & loving when awake 😊 to be fair, I’m much the same. We have a super king bed as I can’t have anyone touching me while I’m trying to sleep 😂

Oh you don’t know how happy I am to hear that I’m not alone ladies 🤣 everything I read online says babies generally never want to be put down! My little one couldn’t be any different. I’ve been worrying if it’s because I didn’t continue breastfeeding her and switched to formula.
@Bol87 how odd, my DD is quite happy flat on her back too! She loves her playmat. I do have to rock her to sleep though, even though she protests, as she doesn’t fall asleep on her own unless she’s in the car seat or pram.
Here’s hoping for a few cuddles when she’s a little older then!

Definitely not because of how you feed her! They have their own little personalities and it's nothing you've done or not done.

I would Find a baby chiropractor with a really good rep that specialises in baby's. The reflux and not wanting to be cuddled could be related to a trapped nerve somewhere from being born

My son was a bit like this though he never had reflux. He just liked a bit of space. Absolutely hated the sling. He's 11 now likes a cuddle, and is very affectionate and lovely. I think he was sick of being squashed up in the womb before he was born and liked to be able to move. I enjoyed having him in a backwards facing pram and having a little chat with him as we went along. Good luck with your baby, hope the reflux settles soon x

My little boy was just like this from 4 - 8 months. Not cuddly at all. He's now 13 months and often looks me in eye and then gives me a hug, and help snuggle with a program he likes for hours. It's a development thing apparently because they've realised they can move independently and potential to go go go 😁

@HayLex Hey! Does your baby likes cuddles now? :)

Apparently I was like this as a baby. My older DB was a true velcro child and hated to be put down and then I came along and was the complete opposite. If it's helps I'm very affectionate and have a great relationship with my parents... Every child is an individual. But it also could be a reflux issue ongoing. But try not to take it personally. Your baby doesn't have an issue with you at all, you're doing great.

Woops, didn't realise this was an old thread!