3 year old asking about death

[Rachierach11]

My husband's Dad died approx 10 years ago (I never met him) and nearly 4 year old has had questions about him for about the past 6 months.

He first asked where Daddy's Daddy is and we said Heaven. We aren't particularly religious but both like the idea of heaven and thought for now it was the best way to explain things without worrying him. Our son regularly wants to talk about who else is in Heaven and what it's like so we often talk about it. Yesterday he asked why Daddy's Daddy died and I said it's because he was very very (add in about a hundred more verys) poorly, not poorly like we get. First thing he asked this morning is why Daddy's Daddy didn't have anyone looking after him and making him better and whether anyone gave him an ice pop (we always give our son an ice pop if he has a tummy bug or a bad cold). I'm getting worried that if I mess this up now he's going to worry about death all the time.

Any advice on how to handle questions about death with such a young child? Has anyone experienced this?

Personally we avoided all talk of heaven. We said when people die they aren’t here anymore but we remember as much of the good things and happy memories as we can and that’s why it is so important to enjoy lots of things. We said if nobody died the world would be too full with no room for the new babies.

We also said that everybody dies at some point but hopefully none of us would die for a long time!

There's a book called "will my cat eat my eyeballs- and other questions from tiny mortals" by Caitlin Doughty
Massive variety of questions asked by little ones and honest answers that can help them understand.

Ime death is a topic a lot of children get fixated on for a while. Certainly 2 of my 3 did. I think it's best just to be open and honest and answer his questions.

If you avoid it he may feel it's something to worry about but at that age they really do take an awful lot in their stride. My youngest keeps saying he's going to be a scientist so he can make a potion to make everyone live forever, and he's 7!

When my dog died my sons asked where she went, I said she went to the sky (not heaven, just in the sky) and she was looking down on us always. They came to the conclusion themselves that 'when you go to the sky your with aliens', and you see them again. To be honest they dont fixate on it much, they just believe one day we go to spend time with aliens, and that's that.
I'm not saying tell your son this, I know alot of children and scared of the thought of aliens. That's just what my kids came up with and I let them roll with it.
Maybe explain that when he was very poorly, not even a ice-pop could make him feel better and he needed a long sleep and then went up to heaven for rest. It's a tough one tbh. I'm dreading it if my children start asking more questions about death so I'll be keeping a close eye on this thread. Xx