Do you notice a difference with first born and second children?

[Newmum26]

My DS is nearly 3 and is our only child. I went to a soft play with some friends today and I couldn't help but notice how confident their two boys were straight off into the climbing frames and down the slides and got stuck right in. They are both second children and have older siblings to encourage them and follow.
I noticed the difference how my only child was more cautious about entering the soft play and analysing the routes and slides etc.
Have you noticed this with your only child or child with older siblings?

Not me but yes, I see this with friends’ DC. Especially around risk-taking and claiming toys!

All children have different personalities though, so it's hard to unpick. I think parents have a more relaxed attitude to subsequent children, maybe because they have more confidence in their parenting. My younger child was bolder in some ways, less so in others - and still changing.

Yes, my first is very cautious and my second is a bulldozer. I think it is more down to personality but I’m sure birth order has some influence on it.

My number 2 is extremely competitive and was always trying to outdo #1.

Yes see it all the time. My first is very cautious. Second still baby so will see but definitely true of all friends with two or more regardless of gender. I've assumed it's knowing they've got a " best pal " in their sibling alongside them that gives them that extra confidence. Could be wrong!

Yes. They are different people.

My DS is the same age as yours and very confident.
No older siblings - or younger ones, yet.

Based on my experience of DS and observations of friends' kids, it has nothing to do with birth order / siblings and everything to do with personality. Plus parents can influence it too (although I don't think it's completely down to the parents).

My 1st is an absolute danger boy, confident in every aspect and 100mph, waiting to see if his sister is going to be much the same

Yes, but I don’t think it necessarily has to do with being first or second born.

My first was more timid, but I think she was born that way. She just didn’t come out robust, had feeding issues, she just sort of was less of a force. That was noticeable from birth. She has also always been small compared to other children, so I think some of it just has to do with being more afraid of being knocked over by all the bigger kids.

Second one just came out much more assertive, fed easily from day 1, just really different personality wise. Also 80th centile so bigger than average in height and weight, also a boy.

I do think having an older sibling has changed his language development. He definitely used language from very early on to get what he needed, probably because he had to be heard over the chaos!

I think it could well be personality related too. However my DS1 is one of the few "eldest" children in his class in nursery and the difference in confidence is obvious. Also he's not spent loads of time around kids generally, and that's obvious too.

I notice that my friends children who have older siblings are more confident with other children; less worried by tough play but nursery has improved my DDs confidence with her peers

My older son has always been very confident.

First time he went into the older unaccompanied group at Tumble Tots he trotted off without a second glance. I was slightly taken aback . Same first day at nursery (40months): "bye, mum!"

Second son was - not less confident, but less assured. He was quite happy to do things by himself (he once said to me "I'm always happy at nursery") but didn't have the same notable air that his brother did. (Had speech issues for a while which probably didn't help.)

Difference has lasted. Son1 trots into any situation secure in the knowledge that there will be people there to talk to. Son2 frets about whether he'll find anyone.

One thing birth order did affect: nursery report for older son says "initially C found aspects of social play difficult, such as sharing and taking turns" - because no matter how much you try, as a parent you can't replicate the other child demanding their go now!