Changing my son's name

[Rachael1994]

Hi, wondering if anyone can help me out. Bare with me, you need ro read the background info first.

I had my DS in 2015 and gave him his father's surname (we weren't together when he was born, we split up when I was pregnant) but hes on the birth certificate as well as me.

Problem is, he hasn't seen of bothered with my son since he was about 8 months old in 2016. Hes since gone to jail for badly beating his then girlfriend up and has been released now.

I applied to change my sons name via deed poll with only my permission and a supporting letter as to why I didnt want to contact the father for his permission etc when he was in jail. It would be a waste of time even if I did contact him as I know he will never agree to it.

Deed poll issued the name change and everything was fine. Everywhere has accepted the name change (doctors, dentist, child benefit, bank etc) except his school. Which I found out when he came home upset that a supply teacher had called him a different name even though I applied for his school place in his "new" name. He didnt know his name was anything else than what he is now known as.

Anyway, now the school are saying they will only change the register if I have a court order as the name change was done without the fathers permission. So that's what I'm going to get.

The first step I need to do is write to his father and ask him for the permission to change it but I know he wont reply.

Do I need to get a solicitor to write to him or can I send the letter myself?

Also should I attach a "letter of consent" so that if he does actually agree all he has to do is sign it and send me it back?

Thanks in advance,
Rach.

I am no expert but yikes... schools will accept a child's wish to be called by another name without consulting parents but will not accept your wishes with regards to his name.

If your sons name is changed by deed pole is it not already legally changed? If so the school are being arseholes and all you do is show them the (letter? Updated birth certificate? Whatever you’d have got when you legally changed it?) and if they can’t accept that then go to the school board and complain.

Ok quick google search says you’ll have signed a document if you’ve changed via deed pole and you’ll have had a witness sign too. This is a legal record of a name change and all institutions have to accept it. You don’t need a court order to get the name changed through the school as you’ve already legally changed his name. You just need to take the document and the birth certificate to the school.

How did the school know the original name?

I think you should challenge the school - makes no sense

Yeah so the school are just being awkward so I'm going to have to get a court order.

The school has had a copy of the legal deed poll which has been witness signed by my bank manager etc. It is a legit legal document. Everything I've read online says I've done it legally (which I have). But they will only change the register with a court order because they're saying they need both parents "permission".

So frustrating.

Actually if both your surnames are on the birth certificate he can be known as your surname so he will have his birth name and known as name

I've already challenged the school and written a formal letter requesting them to change it and again attached a copy of the deed poll. They came back and said basically said no. So I've asked for that in writing so I can seek legal advice.

They knew of his previous name because the school has an attached daycare where my son started at 6 months old when I went back to work. So originally he was there with his old name and then I informed them of the name change when I did it. That's how they know of his other name (and its obviously on his birth certificate because you cant change the name on the birth certificate even after it's been legally changed) the birth certificate always remains with the name they were born with I asked a solicitor about this at the time I changed it. So if anything I do requests his birth certificate I also take the deed poll to show the name change.

How did younger the deed poll without ty e fathers consent?

I’d be getting pretty annoyed with the school. It isn’t their decision to make ffs you’ve done all that.
How do they know no consent was given?

The parents have to sign the deed.

I assume the father hasn’t signed and he has parental responsibility. Although he’s not taken it!!

If both parents are on the birth certificate I can understand why it’s not been accepted.

If you read the deed poll information it’s OPs responsibly to obtain written concentration from both parties. She hasn’t done this has she?

Confirmation

When you change a name by deed poll you can use the new name for most things, however his name hasn't legally changed because it wasn't agreed by the father. You won't be able to get a passport in the new name either.
You can try to go to court but it's only in exceptional circumstances that they will agree to change it. While you are at court also ask for the right to take him out of the country for a holiday.

If you tried to get a passport using his new name they would make you change his name back to his original surname - by deed poll.

How do they know no consent was given?

Typically you'd keep the consent letter with the deed poll - I know I had to provide it for my DC to get their passports (and once you have the passport, you can use that on its own for most things).

So I guess if there's no letter of consent, that's how they know.

I’m unsure what court order you think you’d be able to get to force the school to call him by a deferent surname if they’re not accepting the deed pole tbh. Sounds like a waste of money and not worth the battle. You can request that he’s known by a different surname but the court will not get involved in forcing the school to change their record. Not worth their time

I am in exactly the same boat as yourself..i have looked into it and the only way you can change a childs name (if father is birth cert) is with fathers permission. The only way around this is if for some reason father cannot be contacted or if court sees fit to remove his parental rights.(extreme cases) i am confused with regards to the school however as i thought all schools give "option of prefered name". This is something i am going to look further into as my hands are tied with nc father and perhaps adding my surname as a middle name..not sure if fathers permission is needed to add middle name after age of one

OP, is it significant that it was a supply teacher who called him by his birth name?

That suggests that perhaps his birth name is in the register but that the regular teachers are using your chosen surname - is that what happened or do they always insist on using the birth surname?

@bogoffjanuary I'm not getting a court order to force the school to change the name, I'm going to get a court order to legally change the name as the father wouldnt ever agree to it/ respond to me asking for his permission despite the fact he wants nothing to do with my son, he's a nasty piece of work and will do anything to make my life awkward. The court can over rule and grant the name change without his permission.

And the passport... he already had a passport in his old name before I changed it and it doesnt expire till next year. I can apply for it in the new name with the deed poll and supporting evidence and they dont always say no given the correct evidence when I go to renew it.

With regards to the school and the "known as" apparently this is what the register says but it didnt stop a supply teacher calling my son the wrong name and causing this whole drama. I appreciate for anyone who says "I'll have to tell him at some point" and that I would have done but when I decided it was the correct time not at 4 yo when he doesnt understand. The school shouldnt have put me in that position.

@longinesprime yes it was the supply teacher not his normal teacher. But then my son came home upset that he wasnt called the name he always thought he was and now keeps going on about it and asking questions.

I want it changing so it cant happen again.

With regards to the school and the "known as" apparently this is what the register says but it didnt stop a supply teacher calling my son the wrong name and causing this whole drama

In that case, OP, I would explain to the school the upset this has caused to your DS, and ask if the note on the register can be made clearer so supply staff are aware.

It's positive that they're prepared to use your preferred surname for day-to-day purposes at least (but appreciate that doesn't help when someone gets it wrong).

The issue is that you can’t actually legally change a minors name by deed poll. You can do a deed poll...and some places will take it, but the school is correct.

Unfortunately, the only supporting evidence the passport office will accept is a letter from your ex or a court order. They don't give a shit about dead poll.

*deed !!