Is watching tv really so bad?

[sqirrelfriends]

My MIL is lovely and means well but I fell constantly judged over tv watching which she point-blank disagrees with.

DS is 20 months and watches a bit of tv, not every day but probably most days for about 20 minutes so I can wipe down the kitchen in peace, put a wash on, have his hair cut etc. MIL really disagrees with this and says no child should watch any tv until they're 2.

She's staying at the moment for a week and even switched the weather off while I was watching it and eating my toast (DS was ignoring it completely). Is this normal? All of my peers seem to let their kids watch a lot more tv than he does and I still feel guilty and like a bad mum.

I don't think it's that bad. Like you we let DS, almost 18 months, watch a bit of tv so we can get things done, but not a lot. Your MIL sounds over the top.

Omg I just wrote the same thread.

TV is a wonderful thing!

Only intellectual snobs turn their noses up at watching TV.

I watch crime drama, travel programmes, documentaries, music, wildlife programmes, cookery shows and comedy. I don't watch soaps or reality TV (except the Bake Off)

I cant afford to go to the theatre or cinema all the time, so I enjoy watching TV

I also read, do puzzles and crosswords, listen to music and have other interests.

There is nothing wrong with enoying TV at all.

My in laws are the opposite. The kids are plonked in front of the tv or the iPad the entire time. I’ve nothing against tv at all, they probably watch more than they should, but it does annoy me when it’s like let’s go to granny’s and watch tv!

Tv is a god! I gotta do the dishes and washing sometimes!

She’s bang out of order to switch your tv off!!!
I hope you told her so?
My newborn watches hours of shite tv , he’s not a delinquent yet !

Haha @Stripeyshirts2450, maybe we have the same MIL

I do feel he benefits a bit from it some is really educational (if a bit annoying) like little baby bum. But it also helps me keep my sanity to have a few minutes where I'm not running around with him or being shouted at to play. However MIL just goes on about how awful tv is and how bad parents are who let their kids watch it. Also play pens, bouncers, rockers, music that isn't classical and any form of sugar or junk🤦🏽‍♀️.

Luckily for her she had loads of family help, her mother came round to clean every week and DH was in nursery from 3 months where he had all his meals. Her mother and sister also babysit a lot (we get no help). I'm not resentful I promise.

Of course it's bad, he'll get square eyes!

I think the advice is not to watch TV before 18 months isn’t it? So your son is past that anyway. And it’s none of your MIL’s business!

(My son is a similar age and doesn’t watch tv though because we don’t have one.)

According to MIL it's two. I'm sure he will survive the occasional episode of Peppard pig.

Peppa pig, what even is a Peppard?

I think the 'experts' recommend screen time should be short bursts like that rather than constant background noise like it is in my house. So sounds like you are doing fine, feel free to blatantly ignore your MIL.
I do however disagree with you on peppa pig. One episode and my normally chill, polite DS is a sassy monster. Shes banned in our house.

It's easy for your MIL to say no TV, bouncer, rocker, anything else that makes life easier, isn't it? When she hasn't got to parent your kid and do all of the other things you do. Just saying...

Incidentally, friends in their 60s and 70s freely admit that parenting was easier when they had their kids because they weren't pressurised to continually entertain and stimulate and it was ok to leave your baby in the pram outside the shop while you went in and shopped in peace!... Obviously there were other challenges, but nonetheless...

MIL is being rude. Ask DH to have a word about her stopping giving un-asked for and negative opinions about parenting.

Not at all, especially in the way you describe it. Very different to using TV as a babysitter & leaving them sat in front of it all day, though needs must of you are suddenly ill & it won't harm now & again.

Mine actually taught herself to count to 20 at 16 months old thanks to the Tweenies, took us a while to work out where she got it from as you don't expect a 16 month old to suddenly start to accurately count steps on the way up to bed

If a guest in my home switched the TV off while I was watching it I would switch is straight back on and ask them to stop!

I'm a Speech and Language Therapist. My DS age 1 watches bits of TV with his older sister, maybe 20 mins 4 times a week. My professional view is it is fine! TV viewing under 2 is not beneficial for the child, in that they won't learn much from it (unless you talk about it with them) as it is not interactive. I do however think that it can be beneficial for the parents! It definitely lowers my stress levels to cook dinner without DS hanging on my leg

At work I see children who have far too much screen time and not enough interaction or imaginative play time. They are watching vastly more than 20 minutes a day.

Thanks @BendingSpoons, DS has a massive vocabulary, knows his colours, picks up new words constantly and speaks in some sentences when he feels like it "I did it" "I fell over" "no, mummy" etc. I don't think his speech has been too badly delayed but MIL seems to be of the opinion that he should know numbers by now. To be honest he couldn't possibly compare to the brilliant and genius DH.

I know what you mean about hanging off legs while cooking, what's that about? It's so dangerous and he's much better off watching tv.

DD is 1 and sometimes I will sit her in front of Sarah and Duck while I prepare dinner or something. I'm sure if MiL was having to entertain him for 12 hours a day, seven days a week, she might change her tune We do multiple toddler classes a week, we sing, do crafts, go out for walks, read dozens of books ... 20 mins of TV isn't going to make any difference.

One side of my family are this kind od batshit too. None if my nieces or nephews watched a screen, some untill school age, niether did their parents. None of them did well at school. But then none of them were given much simulation by their respective parents either.
It isn't as straightforward as screen- bad, tv off-good.

I cant remember exactly what it said but at a children's centre, there was a poster about how tv is a good thing. They did say obvs not to plonk children in front of it all day but they had a few lines about the importance of using it for 'down-time.'

His language sounds great! I don't think he'll be corrupted by half an hour of TV. Maybe put on Numberblocks if MIL is worried (Obviously he's a bit little for that at the moment but DD loved it at 2.5ish)