Should I stop breastfeeding - baby going to nursery

[Janefx40]

I'm hoping for opinions on what I should do.

My DD is 13 months old and has been breastfed. She's been having 4 feeds a day: first thing, mid-morning, mid-afternoon and bedtime and is showing no signs of wanting to drop any. She eats well generally at meal times.

She started nursery last week and will be going one morning and two full days as I have started back to work. I have been trying to drop the daytime breastfeeds as I won't be there to give them but it hasn't gone very well.

She's settled into nursery fine but is struggling with me not giving her daytime breastfeeds when I'm there. She seems to cope ok without at nursery but when we are home she is crying and trying to get to my boobs a lot (even when it isn't a normal feed time anyway).

I had assumed it was better to drop them so she can do without when I'm at work but would it be better to feed her when I'm around? Would that reassure her or would it make the days when I work a nightmare? I just want to do whatever will distress her the least.

Does anyone have an opinion or any advice?

Incidentally I have to give up breastfeeding altogether in a couple of months as we need to start IVF again.

My dd went to nursery at the same age and was still breastfeeding in the day. I started off expressing a cup of milk for her to have there but she never wanted it. She just adjusted to not having breastfeeds on the days she was in nursery. She always had a big one when I picked her up though, as soon as we got home. It was our little ritual.

She continued to feed as normal on other days and I didn't stop until she was over two.

If you are planning to stop soon anyway, then perhaps use this as an opportunity to reduce daytime feeds on other days with a view to phasing out out completely within a couple of months.

Thanks for getting back to me @Monstamio

That is reassuring to hear that your little one coped without at nursery but fed at other times. I am tempted to do what you did so that she doesn't feel rejected.

Yes I had thought originally it would be a good start to phasing it out but overall it is more important that she feels loved and secure during this transition.

Breastfeeding was so hard for me at the beginning but I love it so much now and it breaks my heart saying no to her.

Mine is same age and goes nursery a couple of days a week, she still breastfeeds at night and for comfort during the day when I’m around, but she’s fine at nursery with water or juice.

I’m going to carry on till she gives up herself or I feel I don’t want to anymore.

I also enjoy breastfeeding and feel DC benefits from it.

Totally up to if you want to. My one who was bf went to nursery at 11 months, 3 full days a week, and it was no big deal. What helped was getting him used to drinking milk from a cup in the few months before he started. And he loved food. So he mostly just ate loads during the day. I still bf him some mornings, at bedtime and during the night, eventually cutting down and stopping at 15 months.

Could you cut out all daytime feeds and then slowly wean off the morning and nighttime ones? Mostly for your comfort as well as just going gently with her.

If you're happy to keep doing it, I'd just do it on demand when she's home. Some of it is probably wanting that comfort and connection with you after a long day at nursery.

We’re still flexible about it at 2.5. Morning, naptime and bedtime when I’m around, but frequently I leave early for work so she might only feed at bedtime. I go away for 2-3 days and she’s fine, just goes back to feeding on my return. At weekends she has three feeds a day.

No reason to phase it out if it’s still working for you!

Thanks everyone. It's really helpful to hear your experiences. I think I had just assumed that I would have to give up daytime feeding so it's a relief to hear that I don't. I will keep feeding her when we are together until things settle down a bit.

Really appreciate all of your comments

Xxx