Should I not take my messy eater out?

[JiminyCricket]

I was spitting mad today. We were in a cafe and this woman kept glaring distastefully at my dd, I presume because she was, although happily munching, also dropping bits of her lunch on the floor and making a bit of a mess. I ALWAYS clear up any mess we make, and generally leave the floor cleaner than whne we found it, but honestly dd is just no good at eating off a spoon so it has to be fingers. We take food away once she really starts messing around, and never give her too much at once, so that hopefully it goes in the mouth and not on the floor. Its not like it was a posh place or anything. Should we just lock her away in a cupboard until she's acceptable to polite society?

no, just totally ignore her (the woman not dd!)...

No chance, I hope DD enjoyed her lunch.

Of course you shouldn't take your dd out until she's 21 and old enough to behave...(Wish there was a sarky face here)
FFS_ I bet that woman didn't learn to eat perfectly straight away and where does she think we all learn table manners if not by experience...
carry on taking dd into cafe's JC

Wouldn't worry one jot...you'll always get some old sourface trying to make things even more difficult than thery are already.

Keep taking her out and letting her enjoy her food. So what if she makes a bit of a mess. That's what little toddlers and children do. Your child will not learn how to eat out if she doesn't get the practise.

Ignore the miserable woman.

I would far rather see a little one enjoying their food and making a bit of a mess than a grown up eating with their mouth open, slurping soup from a spoon, talking with their mouth full, or scraping their fork on their teeth as they eat. Ban grown ups with appalling table manners but keep littlees - it's beyond me how anyone can be offended by that!

When that happened to me, I said very loudly to my son "try and remember to use your fork properly, darling, because that lady over there in the green dress is getting very angry with you".

A conversation then ensued about which lady, where she was sitting, why was she angry, what were table manners, why forks needed to be used, whether it was easier to have a spoon, etc. etc.

That put a stop to her dirty looks. And I bet she left the restaurant considerably more embarrassed than I was.

POlite society doesn't do making other people feel embarrassed, jc - politeness is not making others feel uncomfortable.

It may be apocryphal but there is a story about a guest of Queen Victoria's drinking from his fingerbowl, so she did the same in order for him not to feel embarrassed - this is it:

So people like your woman today have no class. Ignore any you come across in future!

I've heard that glorious story before JanH, but in the version I heard, it was "our own dear queen."

It is a perfect illustration of good manners though, whoever it was.

You mean, you're NOT supposed to drink it?

JanH, that is a great post! I'm off to find the JanH is wonderfull thread to vote

Ignore, ignore! My ds is positively fawned over when we take him out to our local curry house (and you should see the state of the table afterwards! - he managed once to flick a spoonful of mint chutney right across the table cloth!) Like you we pick up after him....But ffs I've seen adults make a bigger mess! (Went out on Friday with some friends and two of us managed to throw wine on the table...)

JiminyCricket, DON'T stop taking your dd out for lunch!
If people dissaprove SOD them.
Ley THEM eat at home +

My SIL is a waitress. She says that children who make a relatively localized mess are no problem at all -- women with babies and small children are great customers and kids are cute. Crumbs, spills, etc. at your own table are a small price to pay for the general lack of attitude. On the other hand, they did have a family who let two small children throw spaghetti, which is (as you would have thought any normal human being would realize) unacceptable. One bit of thrown spaghetti, an unfortunate incident that might happen to anybody; repeated spaghetti-throwing in a restaurant, Not On. But she'd rather have you and DD at her table than some nasty lady.

can you actually lock kids in cupboards now? wish someone had told me earlier!

bollocks to em jimminy, you take your kids out - you pay for the privilage and you have a damn good time and if anymore staring ensues maybe a sharp " is there something i can help you with"? type comment thrown their way may help

we take our messy eater out and like you - clean up what she has thrown and when she has finished move the food away from her... anyone who has a problem should deal with it....

there was a recent story in the paper here that at a coffee club - some mums with bubs/toddlers were meeting and having coffee - toddlers etc were all well behaved and yet some old lady felt the need to tell the women they should be at McDonalds not at a coffee shop and they should know their place!!!!!

How is your dd going to learn how to cope with eating out if she never does?!?!?!

I would have simply turned to the woman and ask if there was something I could help her with!!! using my nicest teeth baring smile......