Child not wanting to go to school

[EllieRay]

My DS is in yr1 and he hates school.
He has good friends, it's a lovely school he knows lots of people and teachers there being friends mums etc.

But he is awful at going into school. He cries from the start of breakfast to drop off and he has to be dragged in by two TA's every morning.

I've tried everything I can think of and I can't seem to make it better.

He was so happy to be on half term, absolutely no tears until Sunday night when he realised it's school again.

He's quite a bright boy and according to the teachers he's not struggling at all just sad to be there.

Does anyone have any advice on how to get him happier at going into school?

What does he say the reason is?

When ds went through a period of not wanting to go to school I told him everyone had to go so they could learn to read, write, do maths and I would be sent to jail if he didn't 🤣. When he accepted it wasn't a choice and he couldn't change it he was ok.

The only reason he says is that he wants to be at home.
This half term he was at home mostly every day and he just absolutely loves it!
I have explained that we all have to go to school and that I would get in trouble if he didn't but it doesn't seem to make a difference.

I would do a visual timetable with him for the week, with something nice on each day (even if it’s something little, eg jelly for pudding on Monday, watch a program/play a game with mum Tuesday, friend for tea Wednesday, dinner on our laps Thursday etc) so he can see positives during the week.

Are you at home during the week whilst he’s at school? Is that what he’s thinking about?

Whether he wants to go or not, he doesn't get a choice. Don't try reasoning with him by saying you will get into trouble if he doesn't go - that's meaningless to a child his age. He just needs to know that all boys and girls have to go to school and that's that.

I think you have to keep reinforcing that it isn't optional.
That he is the same as every other boy and girl and that everyone has to go to school at his age.
Are you at home with a smaller sibling - we have this because she thinks she is missing out but I keep reinforcing that at the same age her little sister will also have to go to school. It has got better now that 3 days of the week her sister also 'has' to now go to nursery but we still have lots of 'its not fair' on the other 2 days.
How is he with regard to other boundaries - what happens when you say no - does he not accept that or is it just school is the issue? It definitely helps that she is quite used to us saying no and being quite rigid about never giving in to pleading and whining...

I am at home with his youngest sister and I do think it is what he thinks about. His other sibling goes to pre school most days.

He is a very well behaved boy and really doesn't like not doing as he's told which is why it's so unusual for him. I was hoping he would just settle into it but he's been the same since September!!

I think I'll try the week plan idea!!

How was he in reception?

My ds is in year one and went through a stage of this.I calmly told him that every child has to go to school so the time would go faster if he tried to enjoy it and to tell me 3 things that he liked about the school day when i picked him up at hometime.He was ok after a week or so.