Giving up the dummy, right now

[bibbetybobbityhat]

Dd is nearly 2.5, been a dummy fiend for most of her life... have been weaning her off them, not having them in the day or at nursery etc... she has had one for twenty mins at bedtime for about three weeks...

She has been spectacularly badly behaved this evening, including spitting in my face... I've taken the dummies away completely and told her the dummy fairy has taken them away (we have a dummy fairy bag, don't even ask). She's been shouting and screaming for ten mins now, but mostly seems to be out of general temper...

Holding my nerve here... how long do I leave it before the neighbours call ss??? I've gone in and given her a cuddle and she's calmed down but as soon as she realises there is no dummy she's gone off on one again...

Ah she's still so little and learning to manage her emotions. Personally I wouldn't take away the thing that provides her with comfort and security when she's obviously having a hard time. Sounds like you've both had a rough day. Giver the dummy and a cuddle then pour yourself a large gin when she's gone to bed!

You’ve done all the hard work and you’re almost there. A couple of days from now and she’ll have moved on.

Does she have something else for comfort? A special blanket or toy? My DS is really attached to a Muslim cloth and used to cling on to that when we took his dummy away.

I've just given in and given her one dummy.

I've told her that is the last dummy in the world ever... god I am such a bloody wimp...
As soon as she saw it she was literally transformed... she has been screaming for over half an hour now...

She has teddies and comfort toys, and her moon nightlight... nothing will get this kid off them.

Can't believe I've just given in for the sake of peace and quiet (single parent here if that helps explain my weakness)

Ime of my many many dummy users so much better to wait til they are ready and cooperative.
It's their comfort and you The Absolute Trusted One are taking it away!!

Hi op, I don’t have any uselful advice but wanted to say that you’re not weak. Parenting is so hard sometimes, impossible when you’re between a rock and hard place.

Even harder if you have no one to share the load with. You’re not weak, you’re doing you best and that’s good enough. If you’ve given the dummy for tonight don’t sweat it. Come back to this in the cold light of day.

Good luck

Ok now I feel like a total Bitch for even trying!!!

Sorry op!! My ds slept 12 hours a night from 9 months. No way was I risking taking his away! At 3.3 he decided it was time time to bin it.
Other dc were around 3 - 3-6. No teeth or speech issues. Ime it's pressure from others who make you feel you need to ditch it. None of my dc had theirs from a year old except for naps /bed and in the car seat!
Maybe Christmas may be the right age /time for your dd...

No it's fine. I am just sick of judgemental looks, and figured if she could do without it at nursery...

Screamed the house down... ugh. I am going to order takeaway and try again tomorrow...

My youngest is nearly 2 and has reflux which the dummy seemed to help with. The dentist said a few weeks ago though that he could see a dome shape starting and that I had 6 months to take it away before the damage would be permanent. It scared me so from that day I have only let her have it for nap and bedtime (she was having it multiple times a day, after meals when refluxing etc.). I haven’t found the courage to take it away for bedtimes yet but will do in the next few months. I’d hate her to have permanent damage to her teeth. I know some kids have them for much longer without any issues though. My eldest never had one so I haven’t had to do this before.

My daughter was the same, I really put it off and then we went to the dentist and saw that her teeth were coming forward which was shocking. He reassured me that it was fine and they will go back as long as you stop it by the time they turn 3.

When I did it get rid of it, I explained nicely that the dummy was for babies and that was it. That day I took her out and really wore her out so she was really tired and I had to hug her to sleep and just kept reassuring her. She did cry but I was there for her. It got easier after 2 days.

Her teeth have already started going back within 6m.

You’ve got a lot on if you’re a single parent, give yourself a break and just try again in a few months. So much changes between 2 and 3, she will be a different child in a few months and it might be easier.

I stupidly googled dummy teeth another judgemental friend suggested I did and thought her teeth were starting to overlap..: ironically we went to the dentist earlier this week (her first time) and he said she was fine and he wouldn't have known she had had a dummy compared to some of the kids he sees...

I find this hard to believe, and the googling has totally freaked me out!

Thing is, she doesn't have it during the day (unless doing boring stuff like shopping) or for her nap... well at least at nursery, because I hypocritically asked them not to let her have it at nap time... she is fine there! And I do believe them when they say she doesn't have it...

Why oh why oh why then does she play up for me??? 😭😭😭

When I worked at a nursery we used to sit next to the toddlers and pat their back until they went to sleep. They may well do something like that.

Are you using orthodontic dummies? I thought they were supposed to be OK?

My DD is 2yrs9mnths, she still has hers for nighttime & nap at home. Her teeth look fine to me.. my DD is quite gappy toothed though! Interestingly, she’s never had one at nursery & sleeps fine .. I’ve been strict since she’s had teeth that it’s sleep time only. Mostly as I have a real love/hate relationship with dummies, I think they look rubbish but it’s comfort!

I wouldn’t stress, she won’t have it for ever.. at some point she’ll deem it babyish. You might have more success around 3 maybe when she has more understanding?

If you really want to do it now, it’s probably going to be a rough few nights but eventually it’ll be OK! You’ve just gotta battle through.. maybe pop a note through your neighbours doors apologising for the noise! I did that once when we did some sleep training 🙈

She just isn't ready yet none of my dd stopped having it till they were 3, my youngest has just stopped having hers she didn't cry just accepted that she was a big girl now and didn't need it. Just give it a bit longer and try again your doing your best x

We took our 2.5 yr olds dummy away at xmas. I really regret it.

He only had it a bed time, never in the day even if a boring task, or jabs ect.

We had been blessed with a child who slept 13+ a night with no problems and now im lucky to get a 5/6 hour straight. He wakes up 1/2 a night.

I had MASSIVLY ùnderestimated how often he presumably woke overnight and settled himself. Despite the fact that he has completely forgotten he ever had a dummy several months later and never askes for it ect... he clearly lacks the skills to settle himself back to sleep on his own.

Please do not take a babies dummy off them as a form of punishment ,we planned and spoke for weeks before taking his and he chose a new comforter (teddy) instead. You need to take the dummy off her when you feel she is ready to understand, you can tolerate a weel of hellish bedtime ect.

Id give it back to her and make a propper plan to ditch it

Why oh why oh why then does she play up for me???

Because she knows you’ll relent and give in.

Bin them. Job done.

I binned DS's dummies at Christmas. We went cold turkey at the beginning of the Christmas holiday and I'll be honest the first week was hard. Really hard! But now you'd never believe he had them and he still sleeps like an angel ❤️

From one single mummy to another you're doing an amazing job. Please don't let others get you down ❤️❤️

Thanks for the positive comments...

She has gone to sleep, I've taken the dummy out, not a murmur from her... I guess she will probably stir about 3am wanting it..

Also thanks for the comments understanding that I am a single parent, her father isn't allowed contact (court ordered, thankfully) so I am going this all on my own... I have no back up, or sounding board... just trying to do my best...

I cut the tip off my DS dummy When he turned 2. (It was safe. I know some types that wouldn’t be). Then told him it was broken. Obviously he was not happy the first night, and slept clutching onto the broken dummy, but after about 3 days they were gone forever. We did get him a little toy that he takes to bed and still has to have now (age 4.5) to sleep

We took our 2.5 yr olds dummy away at xmas. I really regret it

^

Same with my three year old!

Which ones are not safe to snip, just out of interest? Google is not helping me! She has the Mam ones...