I need to advice fellow parents, I left my ex around 18 months ago, he was verbally abusive and i was very unhappy, I moved back to live near my family with my two children (both girls 5, 10). i tried to support contact with their dad but he to started to harass me every day, ringing me up to 80 times and making threats if i didnt go back to him, he also when he has contact with my children slept in bed with the 5 year old despite me telling him not to. it got worse with me saying he coudnt have them on a certain date he demanded and then turned up at their school in the middle of the day and tried to take them out of school, so i took him to court, they awarded me a non mol for the harassment and a live with order, prohibited steps order to stop him removing them from my care and he got an indirect contact order with advice to promote letters, then move onto calls and eventually contact if i thought it safe. So we started with letters, then my then 6 year old confided in my that her uncle (my brother) had been sexually abusing her, we spend more time in court and now my brother is in prison. Our lifes were turned upside down and he blames me as its my brother and ofton comments i know about it and how i condoned it etc. So after letters it went to calls, he seemed ok with them, so i invited him to stay in a hotel near me so i could supervise the contact, we did this twice until they were accustomed again (not seen them in over a year) then last week i let him have them at his (3 hour drive away). They had a good time and said he didnt talk badly about me etc (which he used to do none stop), then this morning my 7 year old asks me to wipe her bum (shes been wiping it herself since she was 3, he knows that because i lived with him till she was 5) and it turned out he has been wiping her bum, i asked my 12 year old if she had been good and was wiping herself ok and she said no dad did it and she was running around naked all Wednesday until some family came around and told him to dress her. Is it just me or is thinks man stupid and irresponsible! she has just been sexual abused and i find this unacceptable, i has explicitly asked him not to do these things and he chooses to do them anyway, so i have gone back (or will go back) to supervised contact and it will never go to unsupervised.
Please give me some advice, my lifes been a whirlwind of court, stress, hurt children and a bad ex for the best part of 2 years, i need ti know what other parents think. Sometimes i think im being to harsh and others not harsh enough, i want the kids to be happy, they want to see him, but kids dont always want whats best for them and i think hes a really bad parent and just not responsible enough ti look after children