Anxiety/nursery/school

[tootoomuchy]

My currently 4 yr old DD is due to start school in Sept -she will be one of the oldest in the year.

Ever since she started nursery at 12m she has had terrible separation anxiety - it gradually subsided (we had a few months with no problems) but has now resurfaced again so that she talks about not wanting to attend nursery and cries terribly at drop-off (although staff report the days are fine).

She says she wants to stay at home/be with family: She attends nursery 2.5 days so plenty of time with various family.

I am really worried about her starting school and how she's going to cope. Has anyone got any good strategies or happy stories??

My daughter started school last Sept she was one of the youngest having an end of July birthday. She also had a lot of anxiety at preschool before she went to big school, took 10 months for her to get her first friend at preschool. Preschool were on the ball about DD's anxiety and introduced friendship groups to her and did activities/games with small groups of children where she would need to talk to the children and have fun. When we knew what school she was going to we took her to every play session they had at big school to get her used to her new surroundings. It was the best thing we did, made a big difference to her confidence. You can let her take a little teddy when she goes to big school too whichever she is the most close to, you'll meet the teacher b4 school starts and you'll be able to explain about her anxiety. They will know exactly what to do to distract her when you leave. You'll also have forms to complete about her personality and what she likes and dislikes etc, you'll feel worried but really there is no need at all. I let my daughter choose a lovely keyring for her school bag aswell and let her choose one for me too for my work bag - she liked doing this.

Thanks, our preferred school has quite an extended induction process so hopefully it will be similar. Will definitely make a positive fuss about all the 'stuff' we need to get.

Hi, I could have written your post. My daughter started nursery when she was just over 3, until then she had been at home with me. She cried every time it was a nursery day (2 short days a week) and I was dreading school. She was incredibly anxious and we were referred by the doctor to CAMHS when she had just turned 4 for anxiety (just telling you the background so you know how bad it was!). She had her school home visit where she hid the entire time, she started in the September just gone and touch wood we have not had one day of her crying or not wanting to go in. She is the youngest in her class but has settled in well with the amazing support of the school and she has come through most of the anxiety that she had before. She couldn’t have surprised us any more than she did so you just never know, perhaps you will find the same. I know how hard it is.

I hope we find the same! Glad your DD has got on fine.

Will your DD know many of the other children starting school when she does? I think that can make it a much easier transition so if none from her nursery will be going to the same school, see if you can find some via local Facebook groups and ask if they want to meet up in local parks etc.