I know it's too early for a "routine" as such...

[S082018]

Hi all

Looking for some advice please 😊 my little one is 2 weeks old. Of course I know that it's far too early to instill a routine of any kind, but what more can I be doing to help distinguish between day/night? I already use dim lighting in the bedroom, keep noise to a minimum and only tend to whisper rather than talk loudly when in the bedroom.

Should I be taking the little one upstairs in the Moses basket at the same time every night? Will this also help? What more can you suggest I do that will help?

I am breastfeeding and typically baby will wake every 3 hours for a feed. I tend to feed, change nappy mid-feed, then finish the feed and little one will fall asleep feeding although he tends to fight the sleep more at night and wants to play!

All thoughts welcome ☺️

First, congratulations! Second, you're right about it being quite early, but there are definitely things you can do - I'd focus on keeping daytime bright, light and full of normal noise and lots of outside time. Our DD (now 16wks) was just downstairs with us until we were ready for bed at that age, but daytime was busy and bright.

I read once that starting from the 'getting up' point can help babies find their rhythm. So with mine I made sure I opened the bedroom curtains no later than 7.30am every day. We didn't start trying for a bedtime routine till they formed up on 3 naps a day.

Around 12 weeks their natural circadian rhythm will start to kick in and that will really help.

I found that until DD went down to 3 naps it was hard to have a routine because a nap over or under running threw it all off. Instead concentrate on getting the wake time between naps right and a sleep, eat, play, sleep cycle going during the day

Agree with PP about a getting up time. I used to get DD up around 7, feed her and take her straight outside wrapped up in a blanket & me in a dressing gown for about 10-15mins. I read that getting some sunlight straight away could help with getting their day/night rhythms sorted. Don't know if it helped much but felt like I was doing something and it was nice for me to get some fresh air too ☺️

Congrats - you sound like you're doing great for having a 2 week old!! 💪 xxx

Thank you all so much for your responses already! 😊

Any tips on how I can keep him more awake during the day for playtime after a feed? I think that's where I could get better. He does have spells of playtime during the day but some days he's more playful than others and I really struggle to keep him awake and alert when it's so clear that he's tired and wants to sleep!

If he's tired and wants to sleep then let him sleep!

Unless really needed, I wouldn't nappy change at night. With ds1 we fed-changed-fed-winded-fed-slept on a relentless 2 hour cycle. Maybe he would have done that anyway but with ds2 after about 10pm I only changed his nappy if he had done a poo (and he quite quickly stopped pooing at night) and I think that helped the day/night thing. I also have consistently used white noise at bed time, to make a clear distinction between naps and bed. He is a much better sleeper than ds1 anyway, but I remember being annoyed with myself that I wasn't more consistent with sleep aids with ds1 so have aimed to improve that this time round. If you want to have a set bedtime that's up to you but with both mine I've found bedtime is more reliant on when the last nap was rather than the time iyswim, or it's more of a battle (so if ds2 wakes from his last nap at 4.30 then bed tends to be 6.30; if he doesn't wake until 5.30 then bed is 7.30 and so on). Of course if your baby is falling asleep at 8pm regardless every night then roll with it! 3 hourly gaps are great at 2 weeks- just to warn you I found with both of mine that 3 weeks was the worst for cluster feeding so be prepared for some longer evenings / more feeding around that stage.

I disagree that it's too early. I started a routine the day we came home. It takes a few weeks but it helped me too - a routine kept me sane. I do agree with @JohnLapsleyParlabane - start with waking baby up at the same time. Going with your childs needs, naps (didn't bother with blackout blinds or whatever - baby slept downstairs in travel cot, and I sure as heck didn't tip toe around). But I would wake my baby up after an hour and a half. Then come 7pm bath, story (even to a newborn), feed then down when sleepy but not asleep. Lights out then out of the room. In took a few weeks but it eventually clicked and after sleepy feed about 11 before i went to bed he'd sleep through.
My daughter had reflux and it took longer and was definitely trickier to go down at night easily but she got it after three months.
They always slept in their own room, they didn't sleep in mine. I tried to put them down when sleepy but not asleep.
That's what I did, and I had plenty of friends pulling their hair out over bedtime and generally they didn't have a set routine, or tried to impose one when the kids were a few months old and had already had their own, not always adult friendly, routine.

To keep.mine awake at that age while breastfeeding - I used to have to strip them down to their nappies and then every so often pop them onto changing mat to wake up again as they would often doze off mins into a feed. Usually ended up putting down and picking up about 4 times during a feed in early days

Night feeds would be no nappy change unless a poo. Very dark room and pop straight back into crib so they were dozy but not asleep. Of course epic fail sometimes and they ended up tucked in bed with me

You sounds like you're doing an awesome job!

I did try and get some structure into the day early on. As others have said, starting the day at the same time helps you kick off the day. If nothing else I found a routine really helped me to guess what the problem was if she was fussy!

I drove myself crazy with both my two, trying to keep them awake to a routine when they didn't want to be! Try not to worry about it for a little bit longer. If yours are like mine your baby will "wake up" in general at some point and that newborn sleepiness wares off and you can start to put a bit of structure in. Until then, you can get in good habits, with sleep cues etc. and try and enjoy this lovely early days bit.

I also found that giving baby a bath before bedtime helped her to know it was time for big night sleep now! No idea if there is any science to that, but I felt it worked for me!

Well done Mama!

Try to go outside for a walk. Emphasise the brightness and loudness of daytime. Try not to let nap time in the day time be too quiet. Allow everyday noises rather than tiptoeing around but in contrast try to be as quiet as possible at night.

Thank you all for the advice and words of encouragement 😊 it's really useful to hear others experience of things and also to know that I'm doing pretty ok at the moment as a first time Mum!

Thanks ❤️

If you live in a house with an upstairs and downstairs it can help to spend the day times in the downstairs and light and night times in the upstairs and dark and otherwise not really use them the other way round IYSWIM
Also make it quiet and noisy. At night it was really quiet, tried not to even flush the upstairs loo (easier as we had a downstairs one too), no TV upstairs and if on at all really quiet downstairs. Then in the morning first thing I would make it quite bright and noisy. Curtains open (and windows usually!) washing machine on, music on, hoover on, shower running, all that noisy stuff at 7am.
So at 6.55am it felt like the middle of the night and 7am the middle of the day. One of my children still wakes up at almost exactly 7am every morning!

We're at the 10 week stage and it's only really now he's working out day and night.

No problem, we've just ignored all the people letting us know their magic baby sleeps all night (no idea how).

If he's asleep he's asleep we just work to his schedule.

He's now getting blocks of around 5 hrs some nights which is worth it's weight in gold.

You're doing a great job 🙂