I need advice 😭

[Oceanrae]

Hi everyone , bit weird this thread but I need advice!

So I go pick my daughter up from nursery today and the teacher pulls me over and asks me if everything is ok at home? I say well yes why wouldn’t it be she said your daughter told me that your not feeling well and daddy took your phone ? , I new instantly what she Ment my partner took my mobile to get fixed because i couldn’t as I had a migraine and was throwing up! , but my daughter is very naughty and I do tell her off and I do send her to the naughty step and if shes been really bad I do tap her bum ( not smack) TAP, but she is a very smart girl she likes to role play and make story’s so she will come out with anything , I’m really glad that the nursery are doing things like this incase of if things really happen! But in my sense that’s not the case at all and now I’m really worried there going to try make something out WHATS not a bad thing? Also if she tells them I’ve shouted at her or tapped her bum there defiantly going to think something arnt they? I’m so worried I’m genuine just trying to parent and parents do get stressed and shout! Especially when your child hits smacks and point blank refuses to behave 😭 I have anxiety so I worry about everything. Please don’t judge and certainly don’t take anything I said into a bad way and mix things as it’s not needed.

Not random at all, children do tell things that have happened about their day.
I’m a bit confused though, if you’re not worried about her mentioning the ‘tapping’ why have you brought it up in your post?

@PanicAndRun I know I’m so happy she tells the truth as I learnt her to just incase anyone every hurts her or anything I know she will tell me , it’s just the way the nursery asked me it’s like they was concerned about her father taking my mobile for absolutely no reason?

Ok listen, everyone needs to calm down and stop reprimanding the OP. With everything going on in the media at the moment you'd think that you would all be able to find a little human decency in you, and think of better ways of wording things.

OP I think you can gather from this thread that "tapping" your daughter on the bum when she's naughty isn't the best way to deal with bad behaviour.
Don't be upset or cross with yourself for doing it in the past, but I think moving forward you should maybe try to find other ways of letting her know that she's behaving badly.

In terms of the nursery, just be pleased that they're doing their due diligence. Imagine if there was another poor child who had problems at home and came to nursery and told them and they totally dismissed them. The phone situation is an innocent story that your daughter just happened to relay, as children so very often do, in a confusing way. But it's easily rectified by just explaining to the nursery in the exact same way you explained it to us.

I think “tapping” has been outlawed in Wales and Scotland with England soon to follow. So now is a good time to stop. Although I have never “tapped” my children ever and they have turned out to be good(ish) teens and young adults.

Also agree your DD telling the nursery staff about the phone incident is not being naughty. There is nothing you need to say/do with your DD except praise her for telling the truth.

Im sorry you have anxiety. But in this case your anxiety is telling you that the tapping is wrong and you should not be doing it to your DD.

I think you are a bit obsessed with discipline honestly. I have a four year old and have never had to do anything of the sort. Try being more laid back and follow with natural consequences. What is she doing that needs the naughty step approach? She is very little still, they are not robots. It's usually enough to just tell them what they should be doing and why. In any imminent danger, your take them out of it. Who on earth are they hitting? If it's other kids, just leave!

By the way, this doesn't mean that i don't get the nursery teacher anxiety. My daughter also has an active imagination and told me yesterday that her teacher had taken her back to her house in the car on her own just the two of them....and then at the end of the story added "just kidding!" (Age 4!)

You definitely do not need to worry about the nursery, they are just doing their jobs. Your DD has told them the truth but missed parts out which can sound bad if you don’t know the actually story. They will do it with everyone.

How old is your daughter?

This lady just said if everyone would stop been so horrible and kisten “ I haven’t done that for over 2 months “ we have other methods like the step for 2 minutes followed by a small conversation” and if EVERYONE would look it doesn’t say she was naughty for telling the truth she said she’s happy it was just how the teacher reacted like something bad had happened she got scared , absolutely disgrace there’s people saying they don’t want there kids on here and everyone’s been supportive there she hasn’t done nothing DONT condoned tapping but people are been horrid on here!

Sorry my mistake. I agree that stopping the 'tapping' is a very good idea. The nursery teacher was just acting out of concern for you and your child and now she knows the full story she has no further cause for concern.

So you asked for advice but got P*ed off when we don't say what you want.

And what is your daughter doing that's even so naughty???

I'm not going to apologise for telling the op she shouldn't be smacking her young daughter. It's not being horrid at all. I think it's pretty horrid to be physical towards kids but hey!

No I'm not either @Kittykat93!

How old is your daughter? What 'very naughty' things does she do at home? She has told a story at nursery which is true, did you explain to them what had actually happened?