How to ensure your children have a happy childhood?

[MummyJasmin]

I have a DS, nearly 2, and pregnant with DC2.
Listening to Kate Middleton's podcast over the weekend got me thinking really....
How do you ensure children have a happy childhood if you have more limited means.

x

It's all about creating happy memories and spending quality time together. Picnics, walks in the wood, reading books, playing board games, baking and hugs are all cheap. I used to love having a movie night on a Friday where we got popcorn and dad let us chose a movie (although he was very good at leaning us towards something he also wanted to watch!) I also love the memories of making jam tarts with mum and playing games as a family

Be responsive to their emotional needs but also teach them to be resilient within their capacity at the time.
Find a balance between fun/treats and teaching them to work hard and entertain themselves.
Address your own mental health issues. Being overly depressed and anxious over time will eventually impact your child.
Basically give them joyful times but also teach them to achieve things for themselves.

A happy and solid parental relationship; respectful relationships between everyone in the family, including parents respecting children; clear and consistent boundaries held gently but firmly; flexibility, spontaneity and fun within the boundaries framework; fostering open communication with children about their thoughts and feelings; praise and interest in your child as a person. Lots of love. None of these things cost money!

I forgot to add, if you can stop any antisocial behaviour (not sharing, being too domineering etc) it will be easier for them to maintain friendships and function socially which contributes to happiness too.

Security, consistency, calm environment, hugs, someone to play with and talk to, enough food/clothes/space.

Honestly I don’t think DC need any specific experiences to have a happy childhood, it’s more about feeling safe and loved and having company.

Being present first and foremost, talking and LISTENING, providing a safe, warm and comfortable environment, letting them express themselves, providing opportunities and suitable education. Fostering positive relationships with people around you and therefore showing them what positive and healthy relationships look like. Being firm and providing boundaries. All easier said than done of course.

I spend a lot of time overthinking things and would love to be happy go lucky but also create lasting memories for my child

Treating then equitably does not mean treating them the same. Meeting their individual needs is far more important.

Role modelling good relationships is important. Our kids learn how to behave towards others, and how they should expect to be treated by others from what they witness and experience at home.

Loving all these suggestions! x

My dad died when I was young and we were pretty poor - however I still consider myself to have had a happy childhood. We were taught to be kind and respectful, we were read to, encouraged to be creative, we were warm and fed and had enough to get by. There were very few, if any, days out and holidays but the odd holiday we did have was lots of fun.

My mum especially was very affectionate and kind and has always been there for us. It’s not about money, it’s about giving lots of love and care and being there for them.

We went on a lot of holidays when I was a child, got loads of presents at Christmas etc very materialistic in a way - but when I think back to happy memories I think of the times me and my brother used to play hide and seek with my mom, when she used to set treasure hunts up round the house, all the trips to the park with the dogs. It's the little things that count the most

• should add, some of the best things I remember from my childhood were spent visiting family/friends, going to church, and sewing/knitting/making things with my mum. I was always allowed to make as much mess as I wanted, my mum wasn’t bothered about stuff like that!

Attention; there’s a lot you can’t control about your children’s childhood but if you make sure that they have attention from you, they feel valued and you’re paying attention to their emotions then I think that’s the main thing. I don’t mean constant attention or attention that involves money but making them feel important and loved through attention

Looking back over 23 years of parenting, I would say that you cannot guarantee that somebody will be happy. You cannot guarantee that they will have a good childhood. But you can give them things that are still worth having even if their world turns out to be one of pain or fear or mental illness.

Love. The knowledge that they are valued. Someone who will listen. Knowing that their company is appreciated. Jokes. Good humour. Stories, songs, show them everyday beauty.

When my dd looks back over her childhood, I know that she will remember the pain and the fear. But I also know that there are happy memories for her, and memories of how her family were there for her and stuck by her and fought through the hard times. Pleasures we shared- a family joke, a story, games of cluedo.