I am in a nightmare - 4 month regression?

[Wingingit2019]

My DS is almost 4 months and has never been a good napper but now it's a fight for him to nap and he will only go down for 30 mins even if out in the pram or car. Night times are horrendous and I am up every hour or less, I do BF and usually BF to sleep. We use white noise and swaddle. I have tried to break this habit but he screams and screams until he can have the comfort. Co-sleeping didnt work for us. He doesnt take a dummy and he is unhappy all day as hes so tired. I even tried to leave him to cry but only managed 10 mins as he was so distressed. He will not be rocked or cuddled to sleep it is the breast or nothing!

Not sure what I'm asking for here but I'm so sad and feel like I've lost my happy boy :(

Please, please don't leave him to cry. The only thing that will achieve is him thinking you're not there for him when he needs you.

I know it's hard, but I don't think now is the right time to break the association with feeding to sleep either. You can do it later, when he's more settled, but for now, look on it as your super power, you have a baby who is tired and a big feed will help him to settle

Has he napped so far today? How did that go?

It is such a tough time but know your not alone I found it so difficult trying to get him to nap etc but when I gave up battling him it became so much less stressful for me. I took each day as it came and during the really bad times we went in the bedroom in the dark and had skin to skin feeding time. I think it helped me more than him but the calm and quiet was a great opportunity for me to collect my thoughts and emotions. I found carrying on our bed time routine and week routine such as groups also really helped where possible. It won't last forever but it is so tough

We had the worst time with sleep regressions. I'd say do whatever you need to do to get through it. They do sort themselves out in the end even if it's exhausting for us - we did a couple of bits of sleep training when DS was around 1 that eventually helped.

I know it's hard but make sure you take a bit of time for yourself too - get naps in if you can and I find fresh air helps, even if it's just a walk to the local shop.

Eugh 4month sleep regression combined with his first teeth coming and was the most difficult time - waking every 45mins and screaming until he had the breast. I tried lots of things but in the end we just needed to wait it out, after 4weeks he suddenly started sleeping better. Go to bed early, take any help you can get in the day to have a nap and hang in there - it will get better!

Thanks for all the replies guys, I really appreciate it!

@JiltedJohnsJulie his naps yesterday were either on me or in his pram. This morning he was up at 6am so wanted him back down at 8am latest but after 20 mins of rocking his back on the breast and it looks like I'm here for the duration of the nap!

@ToTravelIsToLive thanks for the advice re routine. We do have a bedtime routine which works for us wo I will keep going with that but I've tried no routine and a routine with naps all with the same result :(

@Bipbipbipbip and @chipnightisthenestnight it's interesting that you guys say it passes as all the books I've read/advice online say its here indefinitely unless you break the 'bad' bedtime habits so that at least gives me hope. X

I got the same result throughout the regression but he fell back into his routine after as we kept it consistant. It's super tough but you will get there and I found my boy changed so much after it. Can really see his personality coming through so it will be worth it!

Thanks @ToTravelIsToLive! That makes me feel more positive. I cant wait for it to pass 😴