Feeding nightmare with newborn twins

[QueenOfThePumpkins]

My twins were delivered 5 days ago via emergency section and I was not very well for the first couple of days afterwards. I always intended to breast feed them, and although I was given a lot of support with this it wasn't very successful and after 24 hours I agreed to give them some formula in a cup. That didn't go very well either and now they are on bottles, with some colostrum/milk from a syringe :(

At their first weight review they had lost a bit more than they should have done, so a 3-hourly feeding plan was put in place. They aren't accepting what they should be, but when weighed again yesterday they had put a little bit back on so we were advised to carry on with the plan. This is supposed to involve offering the breast, followed by previously expressed milk via syringe, and finally the formula. However, when changing is factored in this is taking me 2 hours to complete, leaving only an hour until the next feed. To top all of this, one twin still won't suck when I finally do get her latched on. The other isn't that keen either. So the majority of their feed is coming from the formula.

I am thinking of giving up with the breast feeding attempts now so that we can all get a bit more rest, but I feel so upset about it :(

Has anyone been in a similar situation and has any words of wisdom or comfort please? I'm worried I will never be allowed to take them home at this rate. My husband is being extremely helpful and supportive, but even with him it's a huge struggle and I'm not sure I can do it much longer.

I have no experience with twins (hats off to you!) but I stopped BF after 5 days and moved to FF. I discussed with my midwife who agreed it was absolutely the best thing to do both for my baby and for my sanity. DS didn't really settle with BF and was so much happier once we switched - and once I took the pressure off myself. I also had a CS and lost a lot of blood which was impacting my milk supply. Switching to FF allowed me to recover more quickly. All of which is to say that you've done a brilliant job. Your babies have had the colostrum which is the most important part and will set them up for life. The priority now is happy, healthy and growing babies and a happy, healthy and recovering mum. If that means switching to FF, so be it. Please don't beat yourself up about it. You've done amazingly well and will continue to do amazingly well however you feed yourself babies.

Remember a fed baby is all that matters and you matter too, if is not working out with the BF switch to FF, congratulations too

You’re an absolute hero do whatever you need. The current plan doesn’t seem very realistic tbh I had a similar plan for my first dc and it was rough never mind two!

Agree with the poster above. Be kind to yourself. I don't have twins but had two surgical deliveries and my babies just didn't get on with bf for several reasons. I had decent support but found bf physically very uncomfortable after my deliveries too and needed to rest to recover.
Could you possibly get a private feeding consultant? They could check for tongue tie and any other barriers to feeding? Some friends have used hospital grade pumps to keep their supply up during problems in the early days too. It might give you more options if you'd like to continue feeding.
I felt very low that I didn't succeed with bf first time round but all in all my babies got on well with ff and it did lead to an easier routine in my case.
Good luck, I'm sure you'll be at home soon.

Wow OP you must be shattered. I think I’d switch to formula in your shoes it just doesn’t sound sustainable.
I know it always gets mentioned on here but have they been checked for tongue tie? Just that you mentioned about them not sucking... are they okay with bottles?

Hi, I had twins in October, although by ELCS, and had a similar experience. One of my twins had lost a lot of weight by day 3 so we were put on the 3 hrly feeding regime. It is so brutal. I totally understand where you are coming from re the lack of time to sleep. Sometimes in the 3 hr cycle I would miss the window to sleep and then I would just feel awful. So sending lots of love as I bet you feel totally low and knackered.

How long are they keeping you in for? If the babies are putting on weight then hopefully they will send you home soon? It is much more manageable at home as you are in your own environment and the cycle doesn't have to be quite so rigid. Also, you will start to feel better in yourself from a recovery point of view, each week I felt better and by wk 2 I felt a big difference even though I was still sore.

I don't want to tell you what to do as your situation will be different to mine. Those early days were so hard and I felt everyone was trying to get me to stop bf. We managed to carry on and are ebf now but it has been really hard (and I fed two singletons before, so I didn't have to go through the learning process - not sure if you are a FTM or not). I am only saying this as I want you to know it is possible, but equally, please don't beat yourself up about it if you can't or don't want to any more. Twins is a whole different ball game when it comes to bf and you have already given them the first few days which is excellent.

IF you want to carry on, there are things to make it easier. Double pumps, or wireless pumps (Elvie pumps are great but expensive) save a lot of time. Also look at twin feeding pillows (peanut and piglet do a great one). I couldn't use the pillow til about week 2 or 3 because of my tummy being sore, and found tandem bf weird to start with, but it did get better quite quickly.

Do what you feel you want to and don't be persuaded otherwise. This time is hard enough as it is, so if bf is making you miserable then give yourself a break.

Feel free to PM me if you want more advice. And enjoy the twins! Once you get out of the newborn fog it is fab!

Don’t give up yet! Day 5 is such early days!!! Please join an awesome Facebook group called “breastfeeding twins and triplets U.K.”. A really supportive and pressure free environment where you can rant/celebrate/ask for advice. I well remember the faff of pumping, then tube feeding (my twins were prem), the breastfeeding, pump again etc. Endless cycle to begin with BUT once they got the hang of the breast it was AMAZING! No bottles! No formula! No sterilising!

Obviously if you want to formula feed you absolutely should, I’m only saying this to you because I remember how FUCKING HARD it was, and I’m so glad I stuck with it. Fed them for two years actually!

Anyway, good luck, congrats and do join that group!

I'm just going to echo what a pp has said. If you can afford it get the elvie pump. I only use mine to build freezer stock but I'v no doubt that it can be used to feed a baby with entirely expressed breast milk. I'd look to use one whilst the twin with the better latch is feeding (I find I produce more when I do this) then DH feed the 'lazy' twin the expressed milk. That said I do believe women should enjoy their babies and if you're not and your mental health slipping due to breastfeeding then absolutely give up. It does sound as though if you could keep your supply going through a pump and get your babies a little bigger and more alert you could make breastfeeding a success. Are they using dummies to improve their suck? Breastfeeding is so tough in the beginning but then it gets to a point where it takes zero effort and not having to think about sterilising and making up feeds is actually quite freeing.

I've no experience with twins, but my DS found it so hard to settle breastfeeding and wasn't getting what he needed so we were constantly trying to latch and after a few days we decided it wasn't working - me, DS and DP were getting so upset and frustrated and it put such a dampener on our first few days, something that has affected my mental health more than I initially realised. We then pumped and bottle fed the breast milk, topping up with formula where needed until DP went back to work. It was bloody difficult pumping and feeding one baby so I've no doubt you're struggling, but you've done amazing so far.

If you can continue and get the feeding help you need then that is great, but there is absolutely no shame in going to formula, fed is best.You've been through so much already, don't feel like you need to put yourself through anything you don't want to.

Best of luck 💜

You're doing so well! It's an immensely stressful time. I'm going to tell you my experience in case you need a success story.

I was lucky enough to have a vaginal birth with my twins, so cannot begin to imagine the physical pain you are in.
I did have the same problem with BFing. It seemed to take ages for my milk to come in. Both had jaundice and by day 3 had lost 15% and 13%. Because we weren't early and I already had one kid I was considered 'experienced' I didn't get a huge amount of support. We had to turn to cup feeding - I would suggest getting other people involved in this as it's your chance to take a breath.
We were on 3h feeds and with everything else I never flipping slept. It is so completely overwhelming. At some point (after I'd literally pulled the sheets over my head, in a room full of drs and nurses, and sobbed my heart out) I had a massive surge of 'get it the fuck done' and started intensively pumping, eating a lot every few hours, taking fenugreek, drinking fennel tea. At one point I was found, at 2am, eating cold salmon sprinkled with fennel seeds. It was a strange part of my life.
I managed to get them to being fully BF (expect for an emergency bottle of milk if I was still awake at 3am) by about 4 weeks. I never really got a grip on tandem feeding until later but do recommend it.

This is my experience though. Twins are fucking hard. Cut yourself a break and do what you feel is best in your heart. You will leave hospital. I had the same worries - I missed my daughters 5th birthday when I was in - but now I'm out of the desperate fog I know I was in the right place. An extra day feels so long in hospital time - especially when you think it's been your child's whole life - but eventually this time will represent such a tiny fraction of your time together - you'll forget most the details! Stay strong!!! (Sorry if this is not coherent - I'm trying to do 6 things at once but couldn't just read and lurk)

How are you getting on OP? Has today been any better?

Thanks so much everyone. It's good to read others' experiences and be reminded that I'm not alone!

I have had a bit of an emotional day but it's been so so much less stressful to not constantly be worrying about sticking to the crazy schedule thing. Today I've just focused on cuddles with my lovely girls and given them the bottle every three hours. They are still not taking as much as they should, but the doctors are happy with their progress and depending on another weight check tomorrow we will be able to leave. I do have moments where I feel terrible for not putting in more effort and have had a few guilty tears. Overall though I feel that this is the right decision for all of our wellbeing.

I did buy a pump when pregnant, so will have a go with that a few times per day just to keep my milk flow present. As the girls continue to gain weight then I would like to try again, but until then all I care about is that they're getting enough of something (my main worry knowing that they weren't taking to the breast very well).

@appletart99 and @Makingitlookhard that is amazing, you must have so much more stamina and willpower than I do! I am so glad it worked out for you in the end. Your stories have made me determined to have another go once my girls gain some weight and I am feeling a bit better x

Sounds like you are doing marvellously by your girls. Don't feel pressurised by either side. Just take it one day at a time. As they grow they will get better at it. And if you don't manage to breastfeed then it's also not a problem. Just focus on the cuddles and the bonding :) and try to enjoy this time. You have got this!

(I really hope my post didn't make you feel any kind of pressure earlier. That was massively not my intention!)

That is great news! So glad you might get out tomorrow. And it sounds like things are definitely on the up!

Don't worry too much about the latch at the moment - one of mine stopped latching for a couple of days whilst in hospital and it broke my heart as I thought that was it. Get them fed up on the formula and anything you can express and try again when you feel up to it.

The main thing is your supply so if you can get your partner to feed them a bottle whilst you express then that would really help. I had to massively hold my nerve when trying to ebf, and keep away from the scales (difficult as everyone wants to weigh small babies all the time). Whilst you are building your supply you probably have to expect that they won't gain much weight, but if you are happy to just feed and feed I promise you will get enough produced. My local bf support team were really helpful, and my health visitor was so supportive. Find people that want to support you to bf as I found a lot wanted me to give in and give formula as it made them less worried. Ultimately, look at your baby - if they are content and producing wet and dirty nappies then don't worry too much about the centiles in the early days.

I won't lie, I found it tough, and a lot more so than I had expected. It is really hard when you are feeling so rough after the birth so give yourself some time to make the decision. And even if you combi feed you are still bf so don't beat yourself up if you don't ebf.

Good luck and keep us posted! And Fingers crossed you get out tomorrow