Wife Aspergers meltdowns

[karisa282]

Hi I'm having frequent Aspergers meltdowns where I poke my husband . I had 2 c sections in 4 years and struggle with feelingi inadequate

But he is unsupportive as he starts filming me and then forwards it all to my parents who have their own mental issues

I also get urges to text his family nasty words ( like name calling his sister ) as it makes me feel better at the time but then I feel bad after .

When I try to explain to him I have low serotonin levels and can't take the way medicine as I'm still breastfeeding he shouts and says " I don't want to hear it "
He also found out today I had access to his messenger app and called me an idiot and stupid and tried to look up divorce websites after. He said I was deceiving him for the last few months but only because of the paranoia I feel that his family talk about me maybe.

I also got upset that he deleted messages from his sister where she said she hates me but he has a full evidence file on me. It makes me feel he likes her more /protective of what happened to her

I think we're at breaking point.

You sound like you need help. I'd see your GP for a therapist referral, and a solicitor for help preparing a strong case for custody in case he does file for divorce.

Low serotonin is not an excuse for bad behaviour. Plenty of people suffer from depression without mistreating others, myself included. DO NOT send his family verbal abuse, this will absolutely screw you over and make you look unstable/unreasonable if he attempts to file for sole custody.

What do you mean "poke my husband"? Does that mean you hit him?

Do you mean your assaulting yourself husband, and verbally abusing his family? You need to see the GP urgently. If being in medicated is making you violent and abusive- I don't think BF'ing should trump that.

I don't think you can blame Asperger's or depression on you assaulting your husband and his family, and to do so is an insult to all the thousands of people who manage to suffer one or both of the above and manage to not "poke" people.

Your marriage sounds like it's beyond saving, and you sound like you need help.

GP, Lawyer. In that order.

I'm at my wits end
I feel
So empty and dull

Today I laid on the floor most of the day and didn't want to get up just staring at the wall with Constant empty feelings. I feel very antisocial and hate the world a great deal. I'm in a daze most of the time and I worry it's the start of early schizophrenia.

I'm so pathetic I have the worse combination - severe PMS, Aspergers and borderline personality disorder.
I've also had heavy periods since age 13 but after this last c section I got my period at month 6 despite breastfeeding and it's vey heavy and even during ovulation I'm producing too much cervical mucus ( sorry TMI)
I just think something may be wrong in my reproductive parts. I'm under care of a gynae for pain during sex and he's seeing me in 2 months how can I tell him about the heavy periods.
I'm upset my husband doesn't do work around home unless I "nag" as he says - he also doesn't want to read about Aspergers or PMDD. he's quite stubborn and has a concrete head. His family are right that sending them negative messages is not right and I won't do it anymore I think it's because I'm in constant melancholy. I haven't had a full night sleep in 8 months

My 4 year old has mild autism and is very needy sleeping in our bed till age 3. Baby won't take a bottle just chews the teat.

Gp can't give me escitalopram or YAZ contraceptive until I stop bfeeding.

I feel helpless I don't have energy too even change nappies and if I ask him for help he may use that against me later. My parents always try to give me good advice on how to be a good wife but it just goes in one ear I can't control the implulses sometimes.
Also i know hacking his message app wasn't good but I was always paranoid his family may be talking about me. His sister ( who's 16) told me she hates me yesterday after I called her ugly last month and she sent him all the screenshot of the stuff I told her.
This made me rage as I don't like anyone sharing screenshot of my conversations. Also she told him in the message " I'm going to Kill her /and he didn't tell her off

OP, you need proper help, you need to go and see your doctor, get an immediate plan for support, be it medication or in patient care. Your baby will take the bottle when they get hungry enough.

Of course your SIL says she hates you - she's 16 and you called her ugly. You need to stop making excuses and get some help.

You are a mother of 2 young children.

You need to get help for your mental health and behaviour now. It's not acceptable to text hateful things to your husbands family just because it makes you feel better in that moment, and you can't expect them to just overlook that behaviour and pretend it isn't happening.

You say that you don't feel you have the energy to even change a nappy, that has to be addressed and treated, you have small children and need to be able to care for them. Go to the GP, talk about therapy plans and medication and take any help they can offer.